Leaving it Behind
by forgotten-serenity
Summary: After a particularly taxing case, Olivia notices a pattern in Alex's behavior that lead to unexpected discoveries.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own the wonderful characters of Law and Order: SVU. I'm just borrowing them.

Sorry for the long absence. I've been off in my other fantasy worlds (House and The OC) don't blame me. I blame Olivia Wilde ;-) Anyway after a weekened of watching every season of SVU that Stephanie March was in, I became inspired. Hope you enjoy.

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Alex was still shaking from the incident with a defendant half an hour earlier. She wasn't shaking because he had lunged at her, although that did scare her momentarily. She was furious with the man who showed no remorse for beating his children, putting his wife in a coma, and stalking and raping four women.

Luckily Alex had gotten good at channeling her well hidden anger into her work since joining the sex crimes squad. So she rose from her desk, walked over to her well organized library and began her research.

It was hours before Alex even looked up at the clock. It didn't really matter what time it was because she didn't plan on sleeping tonight. Not that she could even if she wanted to. Any case involving child abuse cases always kept her up at night either with insomnia or nightmares.

She took a brief moment to take her glasses off and rub her eyes. As she took her hands away from her face, a knock sounded on her door. Alex checked the clock again. It was a few minutes past midnight. No one ever came over that late except for the SVU detectives if they couldn't reach her at home. Alex made a habit out of unplugging her office phone after six so that she could get work done and ignore the harassing calls from defense attorneys, reporters, defendants, their families, and the occasional activist.

"C'min," she called tiredly from her desk. She pulled a fresh notepad out of her desk and was poised to write, waiting for the description of the sort of warrant she needed to get.

Olivia opened the door and stepped in, softly closing it behind her.

"What can I help you with detective?" Alex asked, keeping her sharp eyes on Olivia who remained standing close to the door, her hands in her pockets. Something about Olivia's stance seemed nervous.

"I just came to check on you," Olivia explained, "After what happened with the perp and all."

"I'm fine," Alex automatically replied, setting the pen down on the pad. She leaned back in her chair, her arms making a bridge in front of her as her fingertips touched, her elbows on the arms of her chair.

Olivia nodded, knowing that Alex really wasn't fine. She had started to notice a pattern in Alex's behavior after child abuse cases. She'd get easily agitated with perps when she was normally cool and collected. She'd always come to work the next day looking like she never slept at all. She'd nail the bastards with all the ferocity in her, usually going after the maximum sentence and beating herself up unmercifully if they weren't convicted.

"I'll buy you a drink," Olivia offered knowing that Alex wasn't the kind to open up even the tiniest bit. It took Olivia forever to even get Alex to tell her where she lived and that was only when Alex had the flu and couldn't bring the warrants to the squad herself.

Alex thought it over carefully and finally nodded, "Yeah. That'd be great."

When they got to the bar, Alex wasn't in such a great mood and ordered a double bourbon instead of her usual martini.

The blonde's silence was unnerving to the detective so she decided to pry a little into what was upsetting Alex, "Tough case."

The ADA nodded. "Yeah."

Not quite the outpouring Olivia was hoping for. She decided that since Alex had always respected straightforwardness she would cut the crap and ask her straight up.

The blonde took a long drink of her bourbon and set it down, staring down at the bar trying to get her bearings about her. The whole night had caused her head to feel like it was about to implode.

"You seem to take child abuse cases to heart," Olivia carefully worded.

Alex paused for a moment before looked at Olivia and replying, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Olivia sensed that Alex wasn't telling the truth, but it seemed to be a sensitive subject so Olivia thought she'd leave it alone for a while. Olivia bit her lip and looked down in her drink, "Okay." She noticed Alex exhale in a frustrated way so she added, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"It's okay," Alex replied, "It's just been a long day." She followed the sentence with a long drink of her bourbon.

A few seconds of awkward silence later, Alex's phone rang in her jacket that she draped over the back of her chair. She reached behind her and pulled it out. Flipping it open, she answered, "Cabot."

Olivia watched intently as Alex focused on the call. "You're sure?…damn it….okay fine…I'll be there in the morning. Goodbye Don." Alex rubbed her eyes under her glasses and dropped her phone back into her jacket. "He made bail and has ignored his order of house arrest. He's in the wind."

"Corey Richardson?" Olivia asked, referring to the to the perp they had earlier arrested on the charges of child abuse and four counts of rape.

Alex nodded.

"You need a protective detail," Olivia told the younger woman who just downed the rest of her bourbon.

Alex reacted like Olivia thought she would with a stern shake of her head and a passionate, "No."

"Alex, he's dangerous. He told you that he'd get you," Olivia tried reasoning with her.

The blonde looked at Olivia square in the eye and set her jaw, "If I had a protective detail for every perp that said they'd get me I'd always have one. They're all out to get me. A few actually try, but none of them actually do." Alex stood and slid her jacket on, "Thanks for the drink."

Olivia bit her lip, "Where are you going?"

"Back to my office," Alex answered, "I have more work to do."

"I'll go with you," Olivia replied, standing and putting her jacket on.

"Why?" Alex asked, although she was sure she already knew the answer. She let Olivia open the door to the bar for her.

Olivia followed Alex into the dark night, "In case he comes after you. If not, I just waste a night sitting in a chair."

An hour and a half later, Alex could tell that Olivia was about to fall asleep in the chair she took residence in across the desk from her. The novel Alex had given Olivia to read for the sake of something to do hadn't changed pages in ten minutes. If Alex didn't know better, she'd say Olivia was asleep with her eyes open.

"Detective?" Alex asked, quietly.

Olivia's eyes went from half open to wide and seemingly alert as her head looked up from the pages of the book.

"Maybe you should try the couch," Alex offered with a kind smile. She saw Olivia looked at the couch and knew the detective wanted to sleep, but also knew that Olivia's fierce protectiveness would keep her awake if she felt she needed to. "I'll wake you up if anything happens."

"What about you?" Olivia asked, setting the book on the coffee table as she moved to the couch, "Don't you sleep?"

Alex audibly exhaled, "Not after a case like this."

Olivia wanted to asked if there was a particular reason, but Alex's reaction at the bar showed that she wasn't going to be forthcoming with any in depth answers anytime soon.

It wasn't twenty minutes after Olivia fell asleep that Alex leaned back her chair and dozed off too. And it wasn't ten minutes after she started dreaming, the dreams turned into nightmares.

Olivia was awakened by a small whimpering coming from the blonde ADA. The detective slowly rose from the couch and walked over to Alex who was in her chair, slightly twitching with tears coming out from under her closed eyes.

"Alex," Olivia cooed, deciding it was best to interrupt this particular dream. She knelt next to Alex so that they'd be eyelevel, "Honey wake up."

The blonde's eyes shot open and she immediately reached up to wipe her eyes. She took a minutes to recuperate before looking at Olivia, "I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" Alex pulled the glasses off of her face and put them on the desk.

"Don't worry about it," Olivia smiled gently, "You okay?"

Alex nodded, "Just…hazards of the job."

Olivia looked into Alex's eyes and knew that Alex could feel the weight of the world on her shoulders. She could see all the pressures Alex was holding in and all the pain that went with it. She reached up and slowly wiped away a stray tear.

Instead of becoming rigid like Olivia anticipated, Alex leaned into the touch and closed her eyes. "Is there something I can do?"

Alex kept her eyes closed and shook her head, pulling away from Olivia's hand. "No." She sat up straight and put her glasses back on, "I can't believe I fell asleep."

"It's…understandable," Olivia stood up straight. She had hoped that that moment she had with Alex would have given her insight to why Alex because so determined when it came to child abuse cases. She knew there were a few reasons why she would. From experience, Olivia knew that she became attached to rape victims because she was a product of rape. So Alex may attach to child abuse cases because she knew someone who was abused. Olivia decided to take a leap and ask outright, "Alex, do you know someone who was abused as a child?"

It took a moment for Alex to look up from her desk, but when she did she nodded, "Yeah. I did…When I was a child…She was so scared. No child should ever have to feel like that."

Olivia nodded, "I'm sorry."

Alex shrugged, "It happened. No one could have changed it."

"Do you…blame yourself for it?" Olivia asked carefully.

Alex wasn't sure why she was being so honest with her colleague, but she felt safe with Olivia like she always had. Trusting Olivia just seemed easy and Alex always had. The blonde figured it was why Olivia was so great with victims. "I do. I could have stopped it."

"You couldn't have Alex," Olivia sat on the desk next to Alex, "You were just a child too."

Alex shook her head and look up at Olivia with shimmering eyes, "I should have."

Olivia ran her hand through Alex's hair, "You couldn't have. You may have even gotten in the way and gotten hurt yourself."

Alex smiled sadly and shook her head slowly as a tear made it's way down her jaw. "I…uh…"

The detective touched Alex's shoulder, "You couldn't have done anything."

The blonde just wiped her eyes and decided to drop it, "Anyway, I almost have this case figured out."

"Great," Olivia forced a smile, happy to know a little more about Alex, but wishing that she could help Alex more. She still seemed to be affected by the incidents in her childhood. "After that are you going to go home?"

"Yeah," Alex nodded.

In a few minutes, they parted ways, both going to their separate apartments.

The next day Alex walked into the precinct after Olivia had called her in. She was curious as to how she could help.

"What's going on?" Alex asked as soon as she got to Elliot's desk, not seeing Olivia.

"One of Richardson's kids is in the interrogation rooms," Elliot explained, "He won't talk to us and Liv had to go pick up Richardson. They found him at his cousin's house in Brooklyn. Maybe you can talk to him. We need to know if he saw what happened to his mother."

"Me?" Alex asked, wide-eyed.

Elliot nodded, "I tried. Huang tried. We need to get to this kid."

Alex cautiously walked into the room where the little boy was sitting. Sadness gripped her chest when she saw the little boy's arm in a cast and a bruise on his face. She swallowed hard and sat across the table from him, leaning back in her chair.

"Chase," Alex said quietly, "My name is Alex. I work with the police." She let out a small smile, "I'm here to ask you a few questions."

The little boy just looked at her.

"What happened to your arm?"

Chase just looked at the table, not looking up at Alex.

"Chase did your dad hurt you?" Alex's heart was breaking more every second she spent with this little boy.

The boy look at Alex, but didn't answer.

Alex looked down at the table then back up at the boy, "Did your dad punish you?"

Chase slowly nodded.

"Did your dad ever punish your mom?"

Another nod.

Alex let out a breath, "Did you see your dad punish your mom when she went to the hospital?"

The boy paused and looked at Alex for a moment.

"He can't hurt you anymore," Alex explained, softly.

"I saw it," the little boy said.

"How did your dad punish your mom that night?"

Chase sighed into his chair and cautiously looked at Alex, "With a golf club."

There was a knock on the window and Alex looked behind her although she couldn't see who was on the other side.

Alex softly smiled at the little boy and stood up, "I'll be right back."

When she exited, she was surprised to see Olivia standing with Elliot and Cragen. "Did you get him?"

Olivia nodded, "He's in lock up now. Yelling to see his son, but since you got Chase to talk, we can keep Chase away from his father now."

"Good job Alex," Cragen patted Alex on the shoulder before walking out.

"I'm gonna take Chase to child services," Elliot announced.

"Why don't you let me take you to lunch?" Olivia offered after Elliot walked away and Alex picked up her attaché. "Or at least coffee? I bet you could use the caffeine."

Alex nodded, "Sure." She tiredly answered Olivia and seemed a little annoyed.

Once they had walked across the street and had gotten their coffee and sandwiches and settled at table, Alex looked over at Olivia, "Did you have them send me in with that little boy because you thought I could relate to him?"

"Actually Elliot thought that Chase would open up to a woman because his dad was the one who abused him," Olivia offered, "As it turns out you got him to open up more than anyone has yet."

"Because I relate," Alex muttered.

"I didn't tell anyone," Olivia added, "I promise."

Alex rubbed her eyes, "I'm sorry. I guess I'm just tired."

The detective sipped her coffee, "Is there anyway I can get you to go home and sleep?"

"You shouldn't have bought me this coffee," Alex let out a small smile.

"What if I tell you it's decaf?" Olivia asked playfully.

Alex chuckled, "Then I'd know you're lying. I can taste the difference between caffeinated and decaf. I drink a lot of coffee."

"I think I can top the amount of coffee you drink," Olivia smirked.

Alex shook her head, "When I was a 1L I drank three pots of coffee a day. That doubled when I started out in the DA's office. It's tapered off since then, but I still drink a lot of coffee."

"Wow," Olivia sat back, "It's amazing that you can still sleep."

Alex leaned forward and raised an eyebrow, "I don't."  
"Well next time you can't sleep, call me because chances are I can't sleep either," Olivia smiled and tilted her head to the side.

"I'll have to take you up on that offer," Alex leaned back and smirked, "Maybe we can meet for coffee."


	2. Chapter 2

Alex lay in a bed a few minutes after two a few weeks later. She was glad she'd found a friend in Olivia. They spent a few nights a week on the phone until early in the morning because neither one could sleep until completely exhausted after tough cases and the special victims unit held nothing but the toughest of the tough.

The young ADA started at the ceiling almost positive that Olivia would be sound asleep. She had chased a perp down three blocks before he tripped on a newsstand and fell. She looked exhausted when Alex saw her so the blonde wasn't waiting for Olivia to call her tonight, she just couldn't sleep.

Just as she had finally settled into a light sleep, her phone rang. Alex sighed and reached for her phone, expecting Olivia which wouldn't have bothered her much. But the caller ID didn't say Olivia. Instead, Cragen's name popped up and Alex fell back into bed with the phone to her ear, "Cabot."

"Are there any judges you feel like waking up?" Cragen asked, "We need some warrants fast."

Munch refilled Alex's mug for the third time since she got there. She was sitting at Olivia's desk facing Munch and Fin's desks. She leaned back and closed her eyes. "So the perp is in custody?"

"He's on is way here," Fin nodded, "Picked up by Metro at Grand Central. He was on his way back to Buffalo."

"Great," Alex yawned.

"Why don't you go lay down in the crib Alex?" Cragen patted her shoulder, "You look like hell."

"Thanks Don," Alex raised an eyebrow. She stood and smoothed out her jeans. She probably wasn't going to get to go home for the rest of the night so a few minutes in the crib sounded good.

"Wake me up when the perp gets here," Alex started walking up the stairs.

"It'll be a few hours," Fin nodded, "They have to take him to the hospital to get him check out."

"Why?" Alex raised an eyebrow.

"He fell," Fin shrugged.

The blonde nodded, "Well, wake me up when he gets here."

A few hours later, the other two detectives walk in with coffee in their hands. "Good morning," Olivia smiled.

"Hey," Fin nodded to them.

"Is that for us?" Munch asked standing.

"Yup," Elliot handed two of the coffees to Munch and Fin. "Where's Cragen?"

"He went home to change," Fin looked down the hallway and saw two uniformed police officers walk in with a perp, "You might wanna take that extra coffee up to Cabot. She wanted us to wake her up with the perp got here."

"Alex is here?" Olivia asked, glancing up to the closed door of the crib.

"She risked her life waking a judge to get us a warrant for Carson's arrest," Munch explained, "She's been here with us since three or four this morning." He stood, "I guess I'll go wake sleeping beauty."

"I'll do it," Olivia offered and picked up the spare coffee. She watched Munch sit down before starting up the stairs.

The female detective quietly opened the door to find Alex asleep, covered in a blue wool blanket facing the door. Olivia froze at the door and couldn't take her eyes off of the sleeping blonde. She knew what Alex looked like when she was awake, but when she was asleep, she looked at peace. Her glasses were sitting on the ground next to the structure that was more like a cot than a bed and Alex's unobstructed face looked completely relaxed. Olivia was completely taken by the sight.

After she shook out of her trance, Olivia closed the door behind her and sat on one of the beds next to the one Alex was in. She picked up the blonde's glasses and leaned forward, "Alex. Wake up."

The blonde's eyes shot open and her eyes found Olivia's immediately. A small smile spread across Alex's face before she moved her arms over her head and stretched. The blanket slid down Alex's torso until it rested across her hips and her shirt rode up a little, showing a sliver of the skin of her stomach. Olivia found her eyes unable to not look at the pale skin just above Alex's jeans.

"Good morning Liv," Alex laid still on the bed, on hand resting on her hip bone, the other sweeping the hair out of her face.

Olivia finally got her eyes to go to Alex's face and saw that she still looked tired, but was also content. She looked down at her hand and remembered the coffee. She held it up and smiled, "I got you coffee."

"Oh my god, I love you," Alex beamed and sat up, accepting the coffee from Olivia. After a long drink, Alex stood up and looked at the ground.

"Here," Olivia held up Alex's glasses.

Alex smiled politely and took them from Olivia's hand, "Thank you."

The blonde's rarely seen smile left Olivia's momentarily unable to function. She watched as Alex made her way to the door. She paused and looked back at Olivia, "Are you coming?"

"Yeah," Olivia nodded and started walking toward the door where Alex was standing, waiting for her.

When they got down the stairs, Olivia was still in sort of a haze. It may have been that she had seen Alex at her most vulnerable or that she'd never looked at the blonde that closely before, but she couldn't keep her eyes off of the ADA.

"How'd you sleep?" Elliot asked from his desk, "Those beds are hell on the back."

"Agreed," Alex nodded and rubbed the small of her back for emphasis.

Munch slowly stood from his desk, "Are you ready counselor?"

Suddenly, Alex's work persona was back and her morning ease was gone. Olivia noticed the subtle difference and watched Alex walk into the interrogation room before looking at the mass of paperwork on her desk. After a quick glance at the interrogation room door, Olivia sighed and got to work, forcing her mind to focus on what she needed to do and not on the ADA.


	3. Chapter 3

Alex was glad that she always kept an extra suit in her office for occasions such as this when she didn't have time to go home and change. She looked at herself in the reflection of the glass window of her office, while straightening out her suit jacket.

Two sharp knocks on her door was the office secretary's way of letting her know that she had to be in court in thirty minutes. Alex took a deep breath, grabbed her attaché and walked out of her office, ready to restart her day.

"Objection," Alex said with all the energy she could muster, which wasn't much. She was completely exhausted.

"Sustained," Petrovsky leaned back in her chair, waiting for Murdock to make his point.

The attorney sitting second chair to Murdock leaned over and whispered something to him. Murdock stood and buttoned his jacket, "I move to recess until tomorrow."

After a glance at Alex who didn't seem to care either way, Petrovsky nodded, "This court is in recess until nine am Monday." Then she slammed the gavel down.

Alex was slowly gathering her things, trying to figure out how it was already Friday when the last day she remembered was Wednesday, when she heard Petrovsky call, "Ms. Cabot, approach."

The blonde internally sighed and slung her attaché over her shoulder before walking up to the oversized desk Lena Petrovsky was sitting behind.

"I expect you to be rested when you show up Monday morning," Petrovsky gently chastised Alex, "If you look like you're about to fall asleep in my courtroom again I'll declare a mistrial due to ineffective counsel."

"Yes your honor," Alex nodded. The teenager in Alex was rolling her eyes.

"Get some sleep Alex," Petrovsky gave a kind smile before sending Alex's on her way.

Alex just nodded again, keeping a yawn inside until she was out of Petrovsky's line of sight. She knew that the judge was right. After looking through her attaché while she waited for a cab, she decided that she could go home and sleep for a while before waking up in the evening to look over the cases she was working on.

Alex was almost asleep before her head hit her pillow. She was go grateful to be in bed, but was weary because the cell phone that was charging on the nightstand next to her could ring at any second.

When Alex finally woke up, her phone was shrieking at her. She glanced over at the clock and saw that it was almost midnight.

"Cabot," Alex laid back in her head.

"Did I wake you?"

Alex was immediately relieved, "Yes, but I've been asleep since four so it's a good thing. I have cases to go over."

Detective Benson chuckled, "Probably. Do you have time to grab some dinner before you go back to work?"

"Definitely," the blonde was happy to put off work for a little longer and enjoy a meal with her favorite detective. She slid out of bed and looked around in something to get dressed in.

"How about the diner two blocks from your apartment?" Olivia asked, "I can be there in…five minutes."

"Sure," Alex pulled a pair of jeans on.

"Alright. I'll see you there. Bye Alex."

"Bye Liv."

When she hear the soft snap of Olivia's phone closing, Alex continued to get ready, rushing into the bathroom trying to figure out a way to look like she hadn't just awakened from sleeping all afternoon.

After deciding on putting her hair up, she pulled on her pale blue long sleeved shirt and her glasses, sliding on her cross-trainers on the way out the door. Since it was only a few blocks, she decided to walk to the diner and when she walked in, she found Olivia already sitting on a booth in the back.

When Olivia saw the ADA she smiled and waited for Alex to walk over. When she sat down Olivia spoke, "How was your day?"

Alex sighed, "After Petrovsky reprimanded me for being tired, great. I caught up on my sleep for the week."

"She's reprimanded you?" Olivia asked shedding her leather jacket.

After scanning the menu, Alex shrugged, "She said if I showed up in the half sleep I was in today that she'd dismiss the case on the basis of ineffective counsel."

"I'm sure you weren't ineffective," Olivia smiled in assurance.

The waitress walked over and took their orders, Alex ordered coffee and an omelet while Olivia ordered water and a salad. The waitress politely smiled and walked back behind the counter while Alex leaned forward on the table.

"In any case, I'm getting too old for staying up all night," Alex smirked.

Olivia chuckled, "If you think you're old I wonder what you think of me."

"I wonder how the hell you do all the you do and still look as amazing as you do," Alex offered without thought. She looked down just as soon as she said it, before peeking up to see Olivia slightly blushing. The blonde leveled her head and smiled.

"Thanks," Olivia muttered then continued in her usual voice, "I don't usually look all that great."

The conversation flowed easily after that although they kept to small talk and the topic of work. Soon, their plates had been mostly cleared and taken away as they continued to talk. Olivia noticed that Alex steered clear of all conversations about herself and her personal life, instead turning Olivia's questions back onto her. She'd learned that fact a while ago along with the fact that Alex was deft at it.

Olivia found her opportunity to bring Alex's secrecy up when Alex finished a sentence with, "…well you know me."

"Not really," Olivia leaned back in her seat, "I don't know much about you."

"I don't know much about you either detective," Alex countered, steadily sipping her coffee.

"You know about why I was born. What happened to my mother," Olivia offered, her voice growing quieter although it wasn't a conscious decision.

"That's not why you were born Liv," Alex spoke smoothly, holding Olivia's eyes, "It's how you were born. I believe you were born to help people. Had the circumstances been different, you may not be as passionate about sex crimes and, all the cases you've closed because of that, may still be open. The world needs more people like you, Liv."

Olivia looked thoughtful for a moment, "So this friend you had as a child, who was abused…She's why you came to sex crimes?"

The blonde nodded slowly before adding, "Yes."

"And you tried to cover it up with political ambitions?"

The younger woman cracked a smile, "You caught me."

"I'm on to you Cabot," Olivia smirked, "You're not as mean as you make people think."

"Don't tell anyone. It'll ruin my reputation."

The detective laughed heartily before picked up the check that the waitress had put on the end of the table. She pulled some money out of her pocket and stood.

"What are you doing detective Benson?" Alex stood, slinging her purse over her shoulder.

"Paying for the dinner I dragged you out of bed for," Olivia handed the ticket and cash to the waitress over the counter. She smiled to the waitress and told her, "Thanks. Keep the change."

"I'm paying next time," Alex grumbled.

Olivia slid her jacket back on and looked around, "Where's your car?"

"It's only two blocks," Alex shook her head, "I walked."

"Let me drive you," the brunette offered, gesturing to her car.

A twinkle in the blue eyes appeared when she smiled, "I'm walking."

Olivia looked at the dark sky for a moment before looking at the blonde whose ponytail was whipping around in the wind, "I'm walking you home then."

"Then you're coming up for a drink," Alex started walking in the direction of her apartment.

Olivia trotted to catch up with her, "If you insist."


	4. Chapter 4

"Do you have to work tomorrow?" Alex asked Olivia as she lead the way to the kitchen.

"Yeah," Olivia nodded, following, "Fin and I drew the short straws."

"So I guess whatever drink I get you I better not spike it huh?" Alex smirked and opened her cabinet.

"Probably not," the detective leaned on the counter, "Unless you wanna fill in for me."

"Definitely not," Alex pulled out a box of tea bags, "Why don't you go relax in the living room and I'll bring the tea in when I'd done."

Olivia sat at the end of the most comfortable couch she had ever sat on. She ran her hand over the green fabric while looking around the inviting living room. It wasn't like she'd never seen it, but the farthest she'd ever come into Alex's apartment was a half step in the front door while Alex was getting her coat.

It wasn't a few seconds before Alex walked into the living room with two mugs of tea in her hands. She handed one to Olivia and sat on the opposite end of the couch.

"I love this couch," Olivia offered, smiling at Alex.

"Thanks," Alex smiled back and took a sip of her tea, "I found it in Poughkeepsie while I was visiting my sister."

"You have a sister?" the detective asked.

Alex looked around for a moment before getting a picture off of the rectangular wooden table against the back of the couch. She handed it to Olivia. It was a picture of three blonde haired blue eyed women, one significantly older than the other two, which included Alex. The other young woman looked younger than Alex. It looked like it was taken in the kitchen of the house.

"Is that your mother?" Olivia asked.

Alex nodded, "And my sister Cameron."

"Now I see where you get your good looks from," Olivia smirked.

The blonde chuckled and pulled her feet up onto the couch hugging her knees to her chest, "My mother reminds us that every time we see her."

"Where's your father?"

"He's," Alex paused, "In Buffalo somewhere."

"You're not close?"

"Not at all."

Olivia nodded, understanding that some people just don't get along with their parents. "So your parents are divorced?"

"For twenty years," Alex nodded, looking into her tea.

Olivia noticed the decline in the attorney's demeanor so she changed the subject, "Tell me about your sister."

An immediate smile graced Alex's face, "She's amazing. She's so sweet and so talented. Cameron is so optimistic and upbeat."

Olivia couldn't not smile at Alex's pride in her sister. It was a rare emotion to see in the ADA. "What does she do?"

"She's a painter," the blonde glanced at a painting on the wall, "She did every single painting in this apartment."

Olivia glanced at the wall, "Wow. I don't remember much from the two art classes I took in college, but those are beautiful."

"People commission her to paint them pieces all the time," Alex leaned into the plush cushions against her back, "She's really amazing. I'm so proud of her."

"I'm guessing you're the big sister," Olivia was surprised at how relaxed she was in Alex's apartment and how at ease Alex see "Do you have to work tomorrow?" Alex asked Olivia as she lead the way to the kitchen.

"Yeah," Olivia nodded, following, "Fin and I drew the short straws."

"So I guess whatever drink I get you I better not spike it huh?" Alex smirked and opened her cabinet.

"Probably not," the detective leaned on the counter, "Unless you wanna fill in for me."

"Definitely not," Alex pulled out a box of tea bags, "Why don't you go relax in the living room and I'll bring the tea in when I'd done."

Olivia sat at the end of the most comfortable couch she had ever sat on. She ran her hand over the green fabric while looking around the inviting living room. It wasn't like she'd never seen it, but the farthest she'd ever come into Alex's apartment was a half step in the front door while Alex was getting her coat.

It wasn't a few seconds before Alex walked into the living room with two mugs of tea in her hands. She handed one to Olivia and sat on the opposite end of the couch.

"I love this couch," Olivia offered, smiling at Alex.

"Thanks," Alex smiled back and took a sip of her tea, "I found it in Poughkeepsie while I was visiting my sister."

"You have a sister?" the detective asked.

Alex looked around for a moment before getting a picture off of the rectangular wooden table against the back of the couch. She handed it to Olivia. It was a picture of three blonde haired blue eyed women, one significantly older than the other two, which included Alex. The other young woman looked younger than Alex. It looked like it was taken in the kitchen of the house.

"Is that your mother?" Olivia asked.

Alex nodded, "And my sister Cameron."

"Now I see where you get your good looks from," Olivia smirked.

The blonde chuckled and pulled her feet up onto the couch hugging her knees to her chest, "My mother reminds us that every time we see her."

"Where's your father?"

"He's," Alex paused, "In Buffalo somewhere."

"You're not close?"

"Not at all."

Olivia nodded, understanding that some people just don't get along with their parents. "So your parents are divorced?"

"For twenty years," Alex nodded, looking into her tea.

Olivia noticed the decline in the attorney's demeanor so she changed the subject, "Tell me about your sister."

An immediate smile graced Alex's face, "She's amazing. She's so sweet and so talented. Cameron is so optimistic and upbeat."

Olivia couldn't not smile at Alex's pride in her sister. It was a rare emotion to see in the ADA. "What does she do?"

"She's a painter," the blonde glanced at a painting on the wall, "She did every single painting in this apartment."

Olivia glanced at the wall, "Wow. I don't remember much from the two art classes I took in college, but those are beautiful."

"People commission her to paint them pieces all the time," Alex leaned into the plush cushions against her back, "She's really amazing. I'm so proud of her."

"I'm guessing you're the big sister," Olivia was surprised at how relaxed she was in Alex's apartment and how at ease Alex seemed to be. The conversation wasn't forced and flowed easily.

Alex nodded, "Three years older."

A few hours and six mugs of tea later, Alex noticed Olivia yawn. She picked up her phone off of the coffee table and looked at the screen, "Oh my god, it's four a.m. Liv. I'm sorry for keeping you out so late."

Olivia shook her head, "It's not your fault. I know what time it is."

"Why don't you stay here?" Alex asked, "I have a guest bedroom and I can drop you at your car in the morning."

After a few moments of pretending to think it over, the detective slowly stood from the couch and nodded. "Thank you."

"It was my pleasure," Alex stood with Olivia, leading her down a short hallway that stopped a three doors. She opened the door on the right and showed Olivia the room. The bed took up most of it and the bed was made with a light purple bedroom set. The paintings on the walls seemed to be made for the room and based on Alex's description of her sister, that's probably what happened. There was a nightstand and a dresser against one wall and a closet on the other.

"There are sweats and other clothes in the draws because Cameron stays here a lot and my closet runneth over," Alex smiled mischievously, "You're welcome to anything in here and the bathroom is across the hall. I'm sure there's a new toothbrush in the medicine cabinet."

"Thanks," Olivia replied, "Are you heading to bed?"

"No," Alex took half a step backwards out of the room, "I have to do some work so I can take a two hour break on Sunday to go see my mom."

"You need to take more breaks," Olivia reached up and gently patted Alex's arm.

"I try, but I'm just trying to keep up with you," Alex smirked and covered Olivia's hand on her arm, with her own. "Goodnight Liv."

"Goodnight," Olivia smiled and watched Alex walk back to the living room.

After changing into some running shorts and a tank top, Olivia crawled into the comfortable bed and fell asleep.

When Olivia woke up the next morning, she stretched in the large bed. After a few minutes to get her bearings, she rolled out of bed and trudged to the bathroom before trudging to the living room. When she stepped into the open, she saw Alex asleep on the couch, her glasses still on and a pen still on her hand on the pad that was in her lap. She was leaned back on the arm of the couch, her legs stretched out across the rest of the couch.

The detective smiled at the second time she had walked in on the blonde sleeping. She walked over and took off the blonde's glasses, before removing the pen and pad, then covering Alex with a blanket that she saw on the back of the couch.

With one last look at Alex, Olivia smiled, tucked some of Alex's hair behind her ear and walked into the kitchen.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry about the typos in the last chapter. I usually hate to read anything that I've written right after I write it so editting is a problem. If anyone knows any good beta readers I need one badly. I fixed the repetition in the previous chapter and the time difference.

A/N: Olivia went to bed at four a.m. instead of one like it said last chapter.

* * *

It was noon before Alex slowly awakened from her deep sleep. It was all too often that she fell asleep on the couch. She looked at the blanket on her and didn't remember pulling it over herself. Olivia must have done it on her way out.

The attorney smiled and got off of the couch for her morning coffee, although it wasn't morning any more. Never having been a morning person, Alex trudged, eyes half closed to the kitchen.

As she was dumping coffee grounds into the coffee maker, she saw a yellow piece of paper from her legal pad sitting on the island in the middle of the kitchen. After starting her all important coffee, Alex picked up the paper and saw Olivia's handwriting. "Good morning Alex. I borrowed some of your coffee so I guess I'll have to take you out to get some other time. If you feel like it this weekend, call me. If not, I'll see you Monday. Don't work too hard. Liv."

The blonde smiled and put the letter back, planning to hold Olivia to her promise of going out to get coffee together.

It was unusually slow at the 1-6 affording Olivia and Fin the luxury of catching up on overdue paperwork. The coffee she drank at Alex's apartment was fifty times better than the coffee at the precinct, but Olivia needed it to stay awake while staring at the tedious forms.

"Late night?" Fin asked as Olivia got up to refill her coffee again.

"Yeah," Olivia stifled a yawn. She started a new pot of coffee and leaned on the counter while it brewed.

"Hot date?" Fin asked, trying to keep the conversation going so he could put off the mountain of paperwork a little longer.

She shook her head, "Just talking with a friend."

"A special friend?"

"Fin," Olivia chuckled, "Do your work and stop trying to put it off by questioning me about my non-special friend."

Fin smiled, "I'm just saying that if you're keeping it a secret there's something to hide."

"I have to have to keep some secrets," Olivia poured the hot coffee into her mug, "You guys know way too much about me. Mostly because you're nosy."

"It's my job to be nosy," Fin leaned back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head.

"Not in my business," Olivia smirked and sat back down at her desk.

"It's just fun to be nosy in your business," Fin turned in his chair to face Olivia.

Olivia looked at him, "Stop having fun and get to work."

"Fine," Fin sat straight in his desk and picked up his pen, "But I'm going to figure it out. Then I'm going to run a background check."

"I don't need help picking out friends," Olivia raised an eyebrow.

"I beg to differ," Fin turned toward her again, "You've had some pretty…questionable friends and boyfriends."

"Fine," Olivia fully turned to Fin, "I've had some questionable friends, however I don't think you need to run a background check on Alex Cabot because I'm sure the city has already done that."

"Cabot?" Fin asked, a smile growing on his face until it was a full shit-eating grin.

"What?" Olivia asked.

Fin turned to his desk, "Nothing." The smile wasn't gone from his face and he was ducking his head trying to hide it.

"What?" Olivia asked again.

Fin just shook his head. "I'm sure you'll figure it out soon."

"Figure what out?" Olivia was getting frustrated, "Fin!"

He finally looked up, "I'm just saying it took you two long enough to become _friends_."

Perplexed, Olivia just turned back to her work, knowing that Fin wasn't going to give anything up, no matter how much she asked. She looked at Fin and opened her mouth, trying to figure out what he was talking about, but looked back at her work.

Alex had closed her law books a little over an hour ago and had settled in for an afternoon movie. She was getting hungry, but couldn't bring herself to move off of the couch and go anywhere to get food because her kitchen didn't yield any food because she hadn't gone to the grocery store in a while.

Halfway into Amelie, her phone rang. Alex blindly reached for her phone and answered, "Cabot."

"Hey Lexi," the voice of her younger sister came across the line.

"Hey," Alex didn't take her eyes off the movie as she replied to her sister.

"What are you up to?" Cameron's bubbly voice asked.

"Watching Amelie."

"I told you you'd love it," came her sister's reply, "I'm actually calling to see if I can stay with you for a few days. I have some paintings that I have to deliver around the city and I have that gallery opening Tuesday night."

"Of course," Alex finally stood from the couch and went to the bedroom. If her sister was coming, she was going to go to the grocery store so she didn't get chastised by her younger sister for not eating properly.

"Thanks," Cameron replied, "Oh and mom wanted me to tell you that instead of you going to her house tomorrow that she wants to meet at this new restaurant she's been dying to try."

"Are you going?" Alex asked, changing her jeans.

"Of course," Cameron replied, "Last time you two had dinner alone I had three blind dates the next week."

"I told you already that was mostly mom's idea," Alex defended her position, putting her phone on speaker and resting it on her bed while she changed shirts and put her hair up, "Besides, you liked the blind date I picked."

"She was sweet," the youngest Cabot agreed, "And hot. The best date you picked for me so far. Way better than that Brian guy. He was nice, but kept talking about this Christina-girl he worked with but Lex I can get my own dates. _You_ need to focus on getting some for you. You haven't been on a date in a year."

"Nine months," Alex corrected, sliding her shoes on.

"That's still a long time. You're smart, beautiful and sometimes funny. It shouldn't be that hard for you to get a date."

"I'm funny all the time thank you."

"Sure," Cameron chuckled.

Alex grabbed her purse and keys before heading out the front door.

Cameron's voice sounded far away when she said, "Hey. Hold on a second." Then it got closer to the phone, "Hey Lex, I have a client. I'll call you later to tell you when I'll get to your apartment."

"Alright. Be safe."

"Love you. Bye." Cameron hung up her phone and Alex pocketed her phone as she made her way to the grocery store.

As she stood in the beverage isle, her phone rang again. Alex pulled out her phone and answered, "Cabot."

"Hey Alex," Olivia's voice answered, "I just finished all my paperwork and was wondering if you had time for that cup of coffee."

"I will in half an hour," Alex replied, "I'm grocery shopping."

"I've got to see this," Olivia chuckled, "What store?"

"Whole Foods down the street from my apartment," Alex added, "And why do you have to see it? It's what normal people do."

"I know. That's why I have to see you do it."

"You don't think I'm normal?" the blonde asked, putting a bottle of wine in her basket.

"I plead the fifth," Olivia chuckled, "What isle?"

Alex looked around, "The one with the wine. Are you here?"

"I was on my way to your apartment anyway," Olivia explained as she appeared at the end of the isle.

Alex saw her and hung up, "Why were you on your way to my apartment?"

"I left my notepad on the nightstand in the guest room," Olivia explained putting her cell phone in the pocket of her leather jacket, "And to rip you away from your work."

"There wouldn't have to be ripping," Alex started walking with Olivia on her tail, "I finished working a hours ago. I haven't been any kind of productive in a while."

"Good," Olivia followed Alex down another isle and watched at Alex scanned the shelves.

"It's a lot of pressure to grocery shop while you're scrutinizing everything I look at," Alex reached up and got a box of tea off of the highest shelf, her shirt stretching up in the back showing off smooth, pale skin.

Olivia was surprised at having to rip her eyes away from the exposed skin. When Alex dropped the box in the basket she glanced at Olivia who seemed in a haze.

"You okay?" the blonde asked, "You look tired."

"I am," Olivia nodded.

"That's my fault," Alex touched Olivia's elbow.

Olivia shook her head, "Not at all. I enjoyed last night."

Alex removed her hand and started walking again, "How about we go to dinner tonight instead of coffee? I haven't eaten today and I'm sure you haven't eaten much either."

"No I haven't," Olivia could still feel the pressure of Alex's hand on her elbow, but kept in step with the ADA.

"Great," Alex smiled sweetly, "We'll go grab something after you watch me pretend to be normal."

The detective laughed, following Alex through the store.


	6. Chapter 6

"Now that I've bought all these groceries," Alex set all the bags on her arms down on the island in her kitchen, "I want to eat out."

Olivia laughed, "Where do you want to eat?"

"I want pizza," Alex smiled, leaning toward Olivia who was on the other side of the island, "And I know the perfect place to get it if you're up for a drive."

"Always," Olivia started pulling out groceries.

"Don't worry about those," Alex walked around the island and grabbed Olivia's sleeve pulling her out of the kitchen, "I'll put those away when I get back. I'm starving."

Olivia felt Alex's fingertips graze her wrist when she pulled her hand away. She wasn't sure what it was about Alex that made her senses go into overdrive, but she could feel every touch linger.

An hour later, they were in the in the East Village sitting with a glass of wine and a margarita pizza. Alex took a sip of her wine and looked out the glass wall facing the street at the cars driving by in the dark New York City night. The walls behind her were made of large brown stones, completing the cozy atmosphere.

"You okay?" Olivia asked quietly, noticing the that the blonde was deep in her own head.

"Yeah," Alex immediately answered, "I'm sorry. I'm just thinking."

The detective debated asking Alex a question, but went ahead and asked, "About what?"

The blonde just shook her head, "Nothing important. How was your day? Anything new?"

"Fin and I caught up on our paperwork, but that's it," Olivia shrugged, "I have a bad feeling about it though. Like the calm before the storm."

"That's how I feel every time I catch up on paperwork," Alex smirked.

They enjoyed the rest of their meal making small talk, but not much else. Alex picked up the check because she picked the restaurant and Olivia stated that she was going to pay for the cab because Alex paid for dinner.

Alex invited Olivia up for another drink which Olivia accept citing that she didn't have to work the next day.

When Alex opened the front door, she added, "We can crack open that bottle of wine I got at the grocery store. I have a vast collection of DVDs we could dip into if you want."

Olivia took off her jacket and Alex took it, draping it over the back of the couch. They both walked into the kitchen when Olivia said, "Sounds great." She was suddenly nervous. A night alone with Alex was extremely appealing, but it seemed nerve-wracking at the same time.

Alex stopped at the island in her kitchen and looked around the spotless room, "Didn't I leave a bunch of groceries laying around in here?"

"Yeah you did," another blonde appeared in the doorway behind Olivia, nearly making the detective jump out of her skin. Her hand when to her waist where her gun usual was. Luckily, she had left it on the coffee table in Alex's living room before going out for dinner. The blonde added, "So I put them up for you."

"Thanks Cam," Alex smiled, "Liv, this is my sister Cameron. Cam, this is detective Olivia Benson."

"Ah, the almighty Olivia," Cameron let out a warm smile and offered her hand to the brunette, "Nice to finally meet you." The younger blonde's hair was pulled back in a messy pony tail and the light blue tank top she wore showed her lean body, mirroring her sister's. She was slightly shorter than Alex and her eyes were slightly darker, but there was definitely a resemblance.

"Finally?" Olivia asked, glancing at Alex while she was shaking Cameron's hand.

Alex just looked down and blushed, muttering, "Nothing."

"I don't want to get in the way of your night with your sister," Olivia looked at Alex again.

Alex was getting a bottle of white wine out. She almost got some words out, but her sister interrupted, "Don't worry about it. We usually just watch a movie anyway. Alex is boring like that."

"Hey," Alex frowned at her sister, "I'm not boring."

"When was the last time you went out and had a good time? I mean a really good time?" Cameron crossed her arms.

Her answer was silence from the older Cabot.

"Exactly," Cameron touched her sister's shoulder, "You work too much."

Alex sighed and shook her head, "You know it's not that simple."

Cameron glanced at Olivia before looking intensely at Alex, "It's not your fault."

Olivia was confused for a moment before connecting the conversation to what Alex had told her earlier about her childhood friend.

"Not now," Alex hissed at her sister.

Cameron pulled her older, taller sister into her arms and said, "You are the most stubborn person I've ever met."

"Agreed," Olivia muttered.

The eldest blonde pulled away from her sister and looked at Olivia, "Excuse me Detective Benson. Did you forget about yourself?"

Olivia smirked, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Great. You two will go well together," Cameron mused. When Alex looked at her, she added, "You wanna go rock climbing tomorrow?"

"Sure," Alex shrugged. She looked over at Olivia, "Do you wanna go?"

After a pause, Cameron added, "Alex is the best belayer this side of the Hudson River. She won't let you fall."

"Belay? You've got to weight half of what I do," Olivia raised an eyebrow.

Alex rolled her eyes, "You're going with us."

"Fine," Olivia raised her hands.

"Awesome," Cameron smiled and reached for the wine bottle on the counter, "We can drink this wine, pass out in the living room and go rock climbing in the morning."

Alex looked to Olivia for an answer and the detective nodded, "Sounds great."

After two bottles of wine, Cameron stood. "I'm so ready for bed."

"Me too," Olivia added.

Alex looked from Cameron to Olivia then back, "Why don't you take the guest room, Olivia can take my bed and I'll sleep out here."

"No," Olivia shook her head, standing, a little unsteady on her feet at first, but immediately regaining her balance, "You take you're bed and I'll sleep here."

"Oh please," Cameron rolled her eyes, "Alex can just sleep with me."

"No," Alex shook her head, "You sleep sideways."

"Then you two take Alex's bed," Cameron trudged off down the hallway, "But I have _got_ to lay down."

Olivia laid on the couch as Alex stood up. The blonde turned around and shook her head, "No."

"I'm fine here," Olivia put her hands behind her head.

Alex leaned over Olivia, her face mere inches from the detective's. "Olivia Benson you better get your ass in my bed now before I drag you there."

Olivia's heart were hammering against her chest. Alex was so close she could feel the breath against her lips, which she unconsciously licked. It took a few moments to recover, but Olivia finally smirked, "Drag me huh?"

In a huff, Alex grabbed Olivia's hands and pulled her off of the couch, pulling the brunette down the hallway, eventually dropping one hand, pulling Olivia on by her right hand.

"Be careful. That's my trigger finger," Olivia cheekily added as Alex got her into the bedroom.


	7. Chapter 7

When Olivia woke up, she was alone in the huge bed. Light was pouring through the windows and the clock on the nightstand read 9:24. She had to admit, her last night's sleep in Alex's bed was the best she'd had in a while. The bed was very comfortable and the blankets were plush and soft.

She remembered waking up in the middle of the night and seeing Alex asleep next to her. It was possibly the most calming thing she'd ever experienced, Alex's warmth coming from her side of the bed and her serene face relaxed Olivia back into a deep sleep.

She trudged into the living room where she found Alex sitting in a chair by the window, sipping coffee and reading a book. She was in black running shorts and a white cami, her long lean legs curled up under her. When Olivia fully entered the room, Alex looked up from her book, her blue eyes studying Olivia behind the infamous black frames. A sweet smile took residence on her face, "Good morning, Detective."

Olivia raised an eyebrow, "You're one of those morning people aren't you?" She fell back onto the couch.

Alex chuckled, "Possibly. Would you like some coffee?"

"Always," Olivia stood and walked to the kitchen with Alex right behind her. Alex went to work getting the coffee while Olivia sat at a barstool at the island, "Is Cameron awake yet?"

"No," Alex shook her head, "She's even less of a morning person than you. I'll go get her if she isn't up in half an hour."

"How long have you been up?" Olivia took after her first sip of coffee.

Alex shrugged, "An hour or two."

"Wow," the detective rested her head in her hand, "You really don't sleep."

A sad smile crossed Alex's face, "No, not really." Alex stepped over to her pantry and surveyed the contents, "Anything specific you want for breakfast?"

"Nope," the brunette covered her mouth as she yawned, "I'm not picky."

"Well Cameron is so how about I go wake her up and we grab something on the way to the gym?" Alex asked, closing the pantry and leaning on the counter.

The brunette nodded, "Sounds great, but you don't have to wake her up."

After glancing at the clock on the microwave, Alex nodded, "I'll wait ten minutes."

A comfortable silence settled over them as they both sipped their coffee, Alex staring at something on the floor and Olivia keeping her eyes near her coffee. When she raised them, she asked, "So is this a typical Sunday for you?"

"Pretty much," Alex nodded, finding Olivia's eyes, "I try to relax as much as possible while psyching myself out for the perps and the judges, and Langan's Nero-esque closing arguments."

"You don't think much of Langan do you?" Olivia asked.

"He's the only one that thinks anything of him," Alex rolled her eyes.

Olivia paused for a moment, watching Alex before asking, "But a few months ago we needed your help and you were on a date with him."

"Oh god," Alex buried her face in her hands, "I was hoping everyone forgot about that."

"You in that red dress was hard to forget," Olivia blurted out without thinking. She squashed a blush while watching one creep up Alex's cheeks.

She muttered, "Thanks," before clearing her throat and continuing, "He had been asking me out for a while and I never really gave him a straight answer so one day he calls my phone while I'm in the shower and Cam answers. He thought she was me and she agreed, as me, to go out with him," Alex's eyes found their way to the counter next to her coffee mug and her voice lowered considerably, "I didn't want to blow him off or anything. That would be rude."

"God you're really not mean at all are you?" Olivia laughed, "It's all a front."

Alex genuinely smiled, "I can be mean when it comes to work, but I try not to be when I'm not discussing the law."

"You don't seem to mind going at it with Elliot," Olivia added.

"I seem to remember when I'm going at it with Elliot, I'm usually going at it with you too," Alex smirked, "Just because I'm nice sometimes doesn't mean when I have an opinion I won't voice it."

"And you've voice it loudly a few times," the detective quipped with a smile.

"As have you," Alex's eyes twinkled with the grin on her face, "I believe when you get two or three passionate people together it's bound to get loud."

"Agreed."

"How about I go wake Cameron up and get this show on the road?" Alex asked, slowly standing up straight, "If I relax anymore this morning I won't want to go work out."

"Oh that reminds me," Olivia turned to face Alex who was at the kitchen door, "Can we swing by my place on the way there so I can get something to climb in?"

"Sure," Alex nodded.

Once Cameron was up and grumbling in the back seat of Alex's car, they made their way to a café down the street for a short breakfast of muffins and water before stopping outside Olivia's apartment. As the detective went into her apartment to get changed, Alex leaned her head back on the headrest.

"You okay, Lex?" Cameron leaned forward, her face between the two front seats.

"Yeah," Alex nodded, "Just tired."

"Nightmares or fun things with the good detective?" A cheeky smile adorned Cameron's face.

Alex momentarily smiled at her younger sister, "You know which ones."

"Well, they'll get better," Cameron sighed, "It's just this time of the year. In a couple weeks you'll be back to snoring like normal."

"I don't snore," Alex raised an eyebrow.

"I beg to differ Mrs. Lumberjack," the youngest blonde chuckled. She fell back into the backseat dodging a playful swat from her older sister.

The passenger door opened and Olivia sat down in the seat. "What did I miss?"

Alex saw her sister's mouth open in the rear view mirror and quickly cut her off, "Nothing. Cameron was just being the annoying little sister she is."

Once at the rock gym, Alex and Cameron were immediately recognized and greeted by the guy at the front counter. "Hey, I have wall seven all set up for you."

"Thanks," Alex smiled, while Cameron just waved, shifted the bag she got out of Alex's trunk to her other shoulder.

Olivia followed them past a few rock walls like she used to climb. As they kept walking the walls kept getting taller until they stopped at one of the tallest walls there.

The man from the front desk came walking over with two harnesses in his hand, "Since it's kinda slow today, you can have wall six too and I can belay so you can go two at a time."

Alex looked at her little sister who nodded, "Sure. Thanks Bobby."

After everyone was harnessed, Cameron looked at Olivia, "Why don't you and Alex go up first?"

Olivia shrugged not really caring either way. She looked up to the top of wall which seemed to be getting higher and higher. "How tall is that?"

"Forty feet," Bobby answered, smoothing out his blue polo after untucking it from the harness.

It wasn't long before Alex and Olivia took off up the wall. Alex was easily navigating the various holds while Olivia was having a little difficulty a few feet behind her. The blonde looked down at Olivia and let go with one hand to point out a hold to Olivia.

"Thanks," Olivia smiled.

"No problem," Alex returned the smile and started her way back up the wall.

Thirty minutes later, Olivia laying on her back on a mat below the rock wall. Alex walked over with a smile on her face and handed her a bottle of water, "You okay?"

"I thought I was in shape, but that wall kicked my ass," Olivia sat up and sipped the water.

Alex nodded, "It'll do that." She took a seat next to Olivia and watched Cameron deftly climb up the wall while Bobby anchored her. "Does that mean you don't want to come back next weekend with us?"

The brunette looked at the attorney and smiled, "I would love to."

"Good," Alex nodded, keeping her eyes on her sister. It always frightened her when Cameron would do anything dangerous. It was probably just the big sister in her, but she felt the need to protect Cameron. She'd had that instinct all her life.

"What time do you have to meet your mom?" Olivia asked, interrupting Alex's thoughts.

Alex looked over at Olivia, "Oh my god I almost forgot…Um…eight I think. Uptown. You are very welcome to join us."

"Oh I couldn't intrude," Olivia shook her head, "Beside I need to doing the laundry and all the other chores I've put off having fun while I've been having fun."

Alex finally looked at Olivia when her sister was safely on the ground, "I'm glad you've had fun."

"Ready to go?" Cameron asked her big sister and the brunette detective.

The both nodded and Alex stood, then offered her hand at Olivia. The detective took Alex's hand and allowed the blonde to pull her up.

It wasn't long before they were back at Alex's apartment. Olivia got the keys to her car off of the coffee table and looked at Alex who was waiting by the door.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow," Alex let out a sad smile. Truth be told she didn't want Olivia to leave, but she wasn't going to say anything about it.

"Yeah," Olivia paused in front of Alex by the door. She felt a strong compulsion to hug the ADA, but thought better of it. They seemed to be fairly good friends so far and she didn't want to push it. "Bye Alex." She opened the door and took a step out.

"Bye," Alex called after her. She watched Olivia get into the elevator before closing the door.

Alex bit her lip and turned to walk toward her bedroom. She jumped with she saw Cameron in the hallway, "Geez. Would you stop eavesdropping?"

"Lex, why didn't you ask?" Cameron asked as Alex brushed past her to get to her bedroom.

Alex sighed, wishing that sometimes her little sister would stay out of her business, "Just drop it Cam. I work with her. It's too risky."

"You never take risks," Cameron stated, aggravated with her sister, "Lex, you need to let go."

Alex just walked into her bedroom and started to change, "Don't worry about me."

"I can't help it," Cameron quietly added, "I've never done for you what you've done for me, but I can help." A slow smile graced her face, "C'mon dating is one thing I am good at."

"I don't even know if she's..."

"Leave that to me," Cameron smirked, "I can find out by Wednesday. All I need is your go ahead."

The blonde shrugged, "Do your worst. I already told her how you agreed for me to date Trevor so if it all goes wrong I can blame you."

"Yes!" Cameron thrust her arms in the air triumphantly. She practically skipped over to her sister and threw her arms around the taller woman's neck, "You so won't regret it."

"I usually do when I let you do these things," Alex weakly smiled and walked to her closet.

Cameron sat on the bed, "So she's going climbing with us again next week?"

"Yeah," the ADA nodded, getting a shirt out of her closet.

"Awesome," a wicked smile washed over Cameron's face, "I'll start them."

"I hate that smile," Alex frowned, "What are you going to do?"

The younger woman just stood up, "I'm going to go take a shower."

"Cameron," Alex added sternly, "What are you going to do?"

"That, my dear, if for me to know and you to find out," the youngest Cabot stepped into the bathroom and closed the door.

"Oh crap, what have I gotten myself into?" Alex asked herself as she fell back onto her bed.


	8. Chapter 8

The Cabot women sat around a table at the newest restaurant they'd heard of. Alex had been quiet for the most part as her sister and mother chatted away about anything and everything.

"Oh my god Lex, I totally spaced about my opening Tuesday," Cameron beamed, "I'm sure she'd love to accompany you."

"There's a she?" their mother, Celine asked. Her blonde hair was graying as it hung just above her shoulders. It was obvious the three were related because they all had the same sharp jaw and icy blue eyes. "Why don't you two tell me anything? What's her name?"

"There is no she," Alex rolled her eyes, taking a sip of white wine.

"Yet," Cameron looked to their mother, "She's a detective Alex works with. She's smart and passionate, and _hot_." The youngest blonde made sure to drag out the last word in her sentence.

"Well done Alexandra," her mother smiled.

"What about you?" Alex changed the subject the first chance she got, "How was your date last night?"

"It went well," the eldest Cabot had a twinkle in her eye, "Very well."

"Give us the details," Cameron leaned forward, "Well, all the PG-13 details. Actually just PG."

"It was nothing like that _Cameron_," Celine rolled her eyes, "I just had a very good time and he's coming with me to your opening so you two can meet him."

"Wow," Alex smiled, genuinely happy for her mother, "This sounds serious."

The mother of the grown women, "It's…getting there. We're taking it slow."

"Slow is boring," Cameron muttered, sipping her wine.

Alex narrowed her eyes at her little sister, "Slow is good."

The youngest woman rolled her eyes and took a longer drink of her wine.

After dinner their mother took off back her house in Queens and the sisters went back to Alex's apartment.

"I'm so glad I moved back to the city," Cameron said out of nowhere on the drive back to Alex's apartment. She had been staring out the window most of the way as she usually did.

Alex nodded, coming out of her own thoughts, "I'm glad you moved back too."

The painter looked over at her sister, "I missed being close to you and mom."

"So much so that you practically moved into my guest room?" Alex asked with a playful smirked.

"You love it," Cameron added with a laugh, "If I hadn't been there, you'd still be drooling over your hot detective instead of spending time with her."

"You don't know that," Alex retorted although she knew her sister was right.

"Yes I do," Cameron turned toward her sister, "You don't make the first move. You're lucky we have good looking genes or you would have never had a date."

"Some dates I didn't want," Alex stopped at a red light and raised an eyebrow at her sister.

"One time!" Cameron grinned wickedly, "And you needed to get out."

"Not with Trevor Langan," the ADA playfully glared at her sister.

The light turned green and Alex started driving to the intersection, "That's what you get for not letting me borrow your car to go to my high school prom."

"I had a final that day that I was completely stressed over," Alex retorted, "Besides you would have just stayed out all night with your friends and told mom you were with me. At least when you took mom's car you had to be home at a certain hour."

"Yeah yeah," Cameron looked out the window again.

It wasn't long before they got home and into bed.

Alex had a long restless night and a morning that started too early. As she sat in her office a little before noon, she got a call from Cragen requesting her presence at the 1-6. As she walked in, her professional façade was up, her shoulders were back, and her jaw was set. No perp could shake her. At least not until she got behind closed doors.

"Cabot," Cragen called from the door of his office. The detectives' desks were empty as she gracefully swept past them.

"What have we got?" she asked.

"A tranny was found nearly beaten to death, behind his father's grocery store. The kid had to be put into a chemically induced coma to reduce brain swelling. He should wake up in a few days," Cragen explained as they walked to the observation window, "In the mean time, we have his brother in for questioning, but he's not talking much. Keeps talking about how his brother was a pervert. We did get some DNA off of some skin under his fingernails and off of the golf club used to beat him. They both match, but we need to get the brother's DNA. The Y chromosomes match the vics."

"I'm sure that's enough," Alex nodded looking into the small room where the victim's brother sat, cold and uncaring. Leaning back in his head, his arms folded, his lips barely moving to answer a question posed by Elliot and Olivia.

Alex silently shook her head and looked at the captain, "I'll go make a call. Call a forensic scientist."

About an hour later, Olivia, Elliot, and Alex sat in the squad room waiting for a call. Alex was sitting at Fin's neat desk writing on her legal pad occasionally consulting previous pages. Not once had she looked up from her writing at Elliot or Olivia. Not that she minded looking at Olivia, she just needed to focus so she could completely forget about work Tuesday night at Cameron's opening.

Elliot noticed that Olivia had been glancing at Alex often and smiled, shaking his head. The female detective didn't mean to be as obvious as she was being, but Alex wasn't noticing so it didn't really matter.

Olivia's phone rang a few minutes later. "Benson," came out of her mouth the second the phone was to her ear. She paused, "You've got to be kidding me….Okay…Thanks." The dropped the phone in the cradle.

"Well?" Elliot asked, expectantly. Alex was waiting patiently at Fin's desk knowing that Olivia would relay any relevant information.

"It's not a match," Olivia shook her head, "So it has to be the father."

Elliot stood and grabbed his jacket off of the back of his chair. He looked at Alex who hadn't said a work. The most she'd moved was when she swallowed hard after hearing what Olivia had to say. "Do you need a ride anywhere Alex?"

The blonde shook her head, "Thank you though." She flipped her legal pad to the first page and gracefully stood, bringing her attaché up with her.

Olivia waited for Alex, holding the squad room door open. Elliot was already halfway down the hallway so she looked to Alex, "Cameron called me this morning."

Panic surged through Alex like lightning and she took a deep breath, "Really?"

"Yeah," Olivia nodded, "She invited me to her gallery tomorrow."

"Oh, good," Alex nodded, completely relieved.

"It's okay with you if I go?" the detective asked, quietly.

Alex was surprised by this, "Not at all. You don't really have to ask me. It's Cameron's opening."

"I know," Olivia put her hands in her pockets, "I just wanted to make sure."

A sweet smile crossed Alex's face, "Don't worry about it. I like spending time with you outside of work."

Olivia grinned, "Great." They got to the outside doors were Elliot was waiting for them, "Is it like a formal thing?"

"Semi-formal," Alex answered.

"Okay. Thanks," Olivia turned to Elliot who was patiently waiting and back to Alex who was digging her keys out of the bottom of her bag. "I'll see you later."

Alex looked up offering a polite smile, "Yeah. If not tomorrow, at the show?"

"Definitely," Olivia nodded, starting to walk off with Elliot toward their squad car.

"Where are you going to with Alex?" Elliot asked as soon as he pulled onto the street.

Olivia raised an eyebrow, "Her sister is a painter and has a gallery opening on Tuesday. And we're not going together."

"Ah," Elliot grinned and nodded, "Good."

"Good?" the brunette turned toward Elliot, "What's good?"

"That you're getting a life," Elliot quipped although that's not what he mean.

Olivia rolled her eyes and settled back into her seat. She spent the rest of the ride to the perp's house trying to figure out what exactly semi-formal was and if she had anything that could be considered appropriate.

Alex left the office as soon as she could, although it was still eight before she got home. When she walked in Cameron was on the couch looking into a bag of trail mix that came from Alex's pantry.

"Hey," Cameron shook the bag a bit before sticking her hand into it.

"Hey," Alex dropped her bag by the door.

The younger blonde commented, "They shouldn't put brown M&M's in trail mix. It makes them harder to pick out."

"Wow. Just wow," Alex shed her jacket with a slight smile and threw it over the back of the couch. She lost her shoes on the way to her bedroom and returned a few minutes later in jeans and a dark blue Columbia hoodie.

"Going somewhere?" Cameron asked, sitting up straight.

"I'm going to go for a walk," the eldest sister replied, "Have you eaten anything besides that?"

Cameron nodded, "I went out to dinner with some friends. You okay Lex?"

"Yeah," Alex exhaled, "I'll be back soon." She opened the door.

Cameron called after her, "Do you have your phone?"

Alex reached into her jean pocket and withdrew her phone, waving it in the air for her sister to see before closing the door behind her.

As she walked down the darkened streets, Alex's mind wandered to what had happened so many year ago. The same thing that bothered her every year around this time. The time of the year that the air got crisp and cool. When the leaves started to fall off of the trees and the birds had already left the city.

She stopped at a crosswalk and put her hands in the pouch on the front of her hoodie. She looked up and down the street before taking her hands out and pushing up the sleeve on her right arm. On top of her forearm was a reminder of her past. A narrow scar a few inches long, anchored her to the past.

The ADA walked without direction, she just let her feet take her. The lights of the city were blurred as she walked and the wind bit at her face. She wanted to lose herself in something. Anything really. She'd always been too controlled to let go though. The world kept moving around her while she staying the her past. But only for tonight. Tomorrow she will have moved on again until this time of the year came again. So she just kept walking through the city that never slept.

__

Here in these deep city lights

Girl could get lost in thought

I'm finding every reason to be gone

There's nothing here to hold on to

Can somebody save me, I feel like I'm fading away

Am I gone?

Can somebody save me, I feel like I'm fading…

The song at the end is called City by Sara Bareilles. I highly recommend it. Thanks for reading.

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

Alex's phone rang as she finally decided it was time to head home. She glanced at the screen and saw Olivia's number. The debated whether or not to answer it because she didn't trust her voice to remain stable at that moment. After expelling a breath, Alex silenced her phone and put it back in her pocket.

A few seconds later, it rang again. When Alex looked at the screen, Olivia's numbers came up again. Figuring it had something to do with work, Alex flipped it open, "Cabot."

"God Alex you scared me," Olivia audibly sighed, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Alex raised an eyebrow, "Why?"

"I called Cameron to ask what semi-formal really meant and after she explained it to me, she told me you were out walking the streets alone," Olivia explained, "So I called to check on you."

"Oh," the blonde looked down, watching the sidewalk whirl past, "Sorry. I just…I'm just thinking."

There was a pause before Olivia gently added, "Well if you wanna talk about…whatever it is, I'm just a phone call away."

"Thanks Liv," Alex answered, genuinely touched. She glanced up the street and spotted a women walking, carrying coffee, "Actually, is it too late for coffee?"

"Never," Olivia answered, her voice playful, "Where are you?"

Alex stopped to look around for a moment finally realizing where she was. "I'm in Chelsea."

"Jesus Alex how long have you been walking?" Olivia asked.

She pulled her phone away from her face and looked at the screen, then put it back to her ear and answered Olivia, "An hour."

"Where are you?" the detective asked, "I'll pick you up."

"28th and 10th," came the ADA's answer.

"You're kidding," Olivia chuckled.

"Um no," Alex crossed the street toward the park where a game of basketball was taking place. She stood next to a bench glancing at the basketball players, thinking that the chilly night air didn't seem to bother the shirts so much as the skins.

"Well if you'll stop ogling the basketball players I'll tell you how to get to my apartment."

Alex looked around, knowing she couldn't seen Olivia anyway, but it was worth a try. "Where are you?"

"Other end of the park," Olivia explained, "6B. I'll start the coffee."

"Do you have any tea?" Alex asked as she started talking the short distance to the other end of the park.

"I do," Olivia answered, "Green, black, oolong or chamomile?"

"What a selection," Alex mused.

"One of Elliot's tries at curing my insomnia," Olivia smiled, putting a kettle of water on the stove.

"Chamomile please," Alex added.

"It'll be ready when you get here."

"Okay," She stopped outside the building, "Are you going to buzz me in or throw my tea down?"

A loud buzzing came from the door that popped open. Alex pulled the heavy door open enough for her to get in before making sure it closed behind her.

Alex stepped into the warm building and looked around. The entryway was generic, but clean. Smooth, tan tiles spread out toward the elevators and stairs. Alex pushed up the button for the elevator, "6B?" she asked.

"Yeah," Olivia's voice replied, "Turn left when you get off of the elevator, all the way to the end."

"Okay," Alex took a deep breath as the elevator opened and a woman with a little boy stepped out, both smiling from ear to ear. Alex smiled back and stepped on after them. "I'll see you in a few seconds."

"Okay," Olivia answered as the line went dead. The detective looked over her mostly neat apartment suddenly feeling the need to clean. She threw some clothes strew about into her bedroom and shut the door, then picked up the coffee mugs scattered about to the living room, suddenly grateful that the slow elevator, that was usually aggravating, took its sweet time.

In the elevator, Alex made another phone call. The dial tone in her ear was interrupted by her sister's voice. "Hey Lex."

"Hey," Alex answered, "I'm going to Olivia's apartment for tea."

"Oh la la!" Cameron laughed.

"Shut up," Alex hissed at the elevator doors opened to Olivia's floor, "I'm just letting you know that I'm okay, since you sent Olivia looking for me."

"You're welcome," Cameron answered, "Hey, I'm gonna take your car to go see mom. Both of you get the same way when this time comes around. Love you Lex."

"Be careful. Love you too," the blonde echoed to her sister.

"Relax. Do something crazy."

Alex sighed, "Maybe."

"Do it or I'm taking your car to Ithaca and riding a train back," Cameron threatened.

The ADA paused in front of Olivia's door. She lightly knocked, "You better not. I know where you sleep."

"Bye sis. I'm off to Ithaca." The line went dead and Alex looked at her phone.

Before she reached up to knock, the door opened and Olivia stood there smiling. Alex immediately pocketed her phone. The detective opened the door wider, "You must be freezing."

It took a second for it to register to Alex that she was indeed freezing, but her wandering brain kept her body from feeling it. "Yeah." She tentatively stepped in and looked around. The apartment was decorated in neutral colors, very cozy without too much furniture. The large windows looked over the park where the basketball game had already disbursed.

"Why don't you have a seat and I'll get the tea," Olivia offered closing the door behind Alex.

The blonde nodded and made her way to the couch. She sat on the end closest to the window and looked out the window at the night sky. She had always loved the dark city nights. It all seemed like a dream or a movie where nothing really happened. The people that walked past had interesting stories to tell of the life's adventures and the good guys always won. She had personal experience to go against the notion that the good guys always win, but the surreal nights let her believe that just for that time, they did.

"You okay?" Olivia asked, gently sitting down next to Alex. She had been standing there for a minutes, watching Alex stare out the window. The ADA had been somewhere else for a while for the past few days, but she didn't know why.

"Oh," Alex looked at Olivia with a slow smile, "Yeah. I was just…enjoying the night."

The detective set the two mugs down on the table and pushed the couch, with Alex on it, so that it was facing the window. Alex looked on first startled then amused. When Olivia sat on the opposite end of the couch and handed Alex a mug.

"You didn't have to do that," the blonde replied raising the mug to her lips.

"I do it all the time," she looked toward the street, "The city at night is…something else. I usual turn off the lights to get rid of the glare."

"Feel free," Alex shrugged, leaning back on the arm of the couch enjoying the warmth of the tea, the room, and the warmth that always radiated off of Olivia.

The brunette stood and flipped off the light returning a few seconds later.

"So," Olivia looked over at Alex, half her face lit up by the street lights below. The gleam of the lights below made it seem like there were stars in the blue of Alex's eyes. "What makes you walk the city at night? Alone."

Alex rested her head on the back of the couch, "Memories."

"Good or bad?" Olivia asked softly.

The sad stars in Alex's eyes disappeared as Alex slowly closed her eyes before opening them again, "Bad. Really bad." She shed her hoodie revealing a tight green short sleeved shirt. She took a sip of her tea before setting it on the window sill.

"If you want to talk about it," Olivia trailed off knowing that Alex knew what she went.

The blonde wasn't sure what made her so relaxed with Olivia, but she gently kicked off her shoes and pulled her feet up under her. She slowly ran her fingers over the scar on her arm and sighed. There were three people who knew how that scar on her arm got there. Her mother was one, her sister another. The third she hadn't spoken to in more than twenty years.

Olivia had noticed the scar before, peeking out of Alex's dress shirts, but she never asked about it. It wasn't her place. At least it wasn't before. They'd become good friends quickly over that past few weeks. Now was as good of a time as ever.

"What happened?" Olivia asked softly while deftly moving toward Alex. When she settled a foot away from Alex on the couch, she gently took Alex's arm in her hands, running her fingers over the permanent mark.

Alex took a deep breath and looked into Olivia's eyes at her fingers gingerly caressed her arm. Something about them, made Alex want to tell Olivia everything that had ever happened to her. To share her happiest memories and her worst fears. She figured it was why victims trusted her so much. She made them feel safe.

And that was how Alex felt when she looked down at Olivia's hands and her arm. Another deep breath and Alex was finally ready to share her story with someone new. "The friend I told you about…when I was a child who was abused?"

Olivia nodded remembering.

"It was not so much a friend as…me," Alex immediately looked away, ashamed of her past and her the lie she told Olivia about a false friend.

"Oh my god," Olivia breathed. Her chest tightened and a lump formed in her throat. She immediately wanted to wrap her arms around the blonde and comfort her in any and every way possible. This wasn't a victim telling their story. This was Alex. Strong, brave, willful Alex. The woman she had secretly been harboring feeling for that went beyond friendship.

Since she started, Alex figured she might as well finish. "My…father demanded perfection and obedience out of us. Cameron and me. And my mother too. And when we didn't live up to his impossibly high standards we'd be punished. One day he was livid with Cameron. I don't remember what she did or didn't do, when I saw him walking toward her I knew I had to do something." Tears welled up in Alex's eyes. The moisture shimmering in the lamplight, "She was my little sister. It was my job to protect her." There was a pause while Alex wiped her eyes. "My mom was as scared of him as we were, but I felt like Cameron was my responsibility. So I hid her bad grades and took the blame for all her mistakes as much as I could."

Olivia reached a hand to Alex's shoulder and slowly snaked her arms around her back, pulling Alex to her and holding her close. Alex leaned into Olivia, her head on the detective's shoulder.

"Anyway," Alex continued, "That day I walked in from school and he was yelling at her and her was bawling so I ran upstairs. They were at the top of the stairs in the hallway. Cameron's back was to me and I could see his face. It was red while he screamed at her that she was pathetic and nothing and he didn't know why he put up with us. I finally got in front of Cameron and told him to leave her alone." Alex paused again, the tears silently sliding down her cheeks.

Olivia was at a loss for words. This was someone she had admired for her apparently innate strength, exposing her biggest secret. She gently squeezed Alex who scooted closer to Olivia, wanting to be in the warmth that was Olivia.

Another deep breath occurred before Alex went on, "When I yelled at him, he hit me so hard I feel backward down the stairs. A few feet from the bottom of the stairs was the glass coffee table in front of the couch. I fell so hard I bounced to the coffee table, hitting my head and slicing open my arm. I had a broken arm, a broken eye socket where he had hit me, a strained ankle and concussion that knocked me out cold. I had six stitched for my arm. That was the worst any of us had gotten hurt. The police at the hospital got my mom away from him long enough for her to tell them everything. They took him away that night and that was the last I ever saw of him." Alex sniffled, "That was twenty five years ago tonight."

For the first time after hearing a story like that, Olivia couldn't think of anything to say. She was in awe of the woman in front of her, first as a little girl standing up to a 'man' to protect her sister and now as a woman, facing her past almost daily to protect the children of New York. Olivia ran her fingers through Alex's hair and kissed the top of her head. "You're amazing."

Alex chuckled to herself and tried to snuggled deeper into Olivia. "You're the only person I've ever told."

Olivia's voice barely came out as a whisper, "Thank you." She wasn't quite sure what she was thanking Alex for. Maybe for trusting her enough to share or for letting Olivia see how strong Alex really is. In any way, Olivia was grateful.

The blonde sighed, "I'm sorry I'm such a downer tonight."

"Don't worry about it," Olivia assured her.

There was a long pause before Alex spoke again, "My mom blames herself. I tell her it's not her fault, but she feels guilty."

Olivia nodded. She had seen it countless times.

Alex wiped her eyes again and sighed, "Well now that that's over, how was your day?"

"It was pretty uneventful. I did laundry, went grocery shopping, cooked lunch, cleaned the kitchen, and read a book," Olivia rattled off a list. She felt Alex turned to her head to look up so she looked down at and caught Alex's eyes.

A smile played on the blonde's lips, "You? Cook? I'll believe it when I see it."

"I can," Olivia playfully retorted, "I can show you right now."

"You better stay right where you are detective," Alex ordered.

Olivia happily complied, gathering more of Alex up into her arms. The ADA completely relaxed where she was and she refused to move from her comfortable spot in Olivia's arms. She was ninety percent sure she wouldn't move even if the building caught fire. Well, eighty-five.

They spent the rest of the night, reminiscing about happy memories and exchanging playful banter while looking out into the dark night. It wasn't long before the emotionally exhausted Alex fell asleep and Olivia wasn't far behind.


	10. Chapter 10

She groaned before she woke up. Olivia hadn't slept on the couch in a long time. When she realized where the couch was, she sat up, remembering that Alex had been there the night before and had fallen asleep on her. But now, the blonde was nowhere to be found.

"You're such a chicken," Cameron rolled her eyes while she drove Alex home.

"Shut up," Alex mumbled. She had to admit she didn't really want to leave, but she had convinced herself that because she had to be at work tomorrow she needed to go home. She knew that what really happened was she panicked. She woke up feeling safe and warm in Olivia's arms. Her head was resting on the slowly rising and falling chest of her favorite detective and a few of Olivia's fingers were resting on the exposed small of her back. She didn't like that she didn't want to leave. She didn't like that a few seconds after waking up, she snuggled deeper into Olivia loving the feel of her arms.

When they got upstairs, Alex shed her hoodie and immediately Cameron wrapped her arms around her older sister. "Alexandra Celine Cabot," She pulled away and took her sister's face in her hands, "You have _got_ to let it go. You've got to let her in."

"Why?" Alex sighed, trying to look away from her sister.

Cameron smiled, "I talked to my ex Daniela whose best friend dated your hot detective."

"Really?" Alex's eyes lit up.

"Yes," Cameron waggled her eyebrows, "So you _have _to go for it. Cause if you don't, I will."

Alex narrowed her eyes and stepped away from Cameron, "Don't you dare."

"You have thirty-six hours," the artist warned before disappearing into her bedroom.

"Olivia!" Cameron beamed spotting the NYPD detective walking into her gallery in her jeans and a light sweater, "How's my favorite detective?"

"I'm great," Olivia smiled and hugged Cameron, "How are you?"

"I'm so nervous," Cameron sighed, running a hand through her hair. Olivia noticed that when it was down, Cameron's hair looked exactly like Alex's.

The brunette smiled and rubbed Cameron's arm, "I'm sure everyone will love everything."

"I'm not worried about everyone," the artist sighed. She looked toward the back and Olivia followed her eyes to where Alex was standing in front of a painting studying it intensely, "I'm worried about her."

"Alex?" Olivia asked looking back at the youngest Cabot.

"Yes. She's like my hero," the shorter woman sighed, "I always want to her like what I do. I can tell when she doesn't. For a lawyer, she's a terrible liar."

Olivia's eyes returned to Alex whose arms were crossed with a glass of champagne in her hand. Her glasses were on and her head was tilted to the side. Her long blonde hair brushed the blue long sleeved shirt covered the top few inches of her black pants which ended at heeled boots. Her weight was on her left leg before she shifted, while studying the painting. Olivia didn't know if Alex had changed since work because she hadn't seen the ADA all day.

"Oh my god," Cameron sighed, "Will you please go see what she thinks?"

"Sure," Olivia shrugged, making her way to Alex. She picked up a glass of champagne on her way. Soon she was standing next to Alex who was her usual confident self.

"Hey," Olivia let her presence be known.

Alex looked over at Olivia and smiled politely, "Hey Liv. How are you?"

Olivia shrugged, "Pretty good. How are you?"

"Great," Alex glanced behind her at her sister who was talking to an older looking man in a green polo and khaki pants.

The detective definitely wanted to bring up the previous night and ask Alex why she left in the middle of the night, but she didn't want to make it seem like she was confronting Alex. She knew that anyone who backed Alex into a corner got annihilated.

As if reading Olivia's mind, Alex added, "I'm sorry for leaving in the middle of the night. I had to go to work early and I didn't want to wake you up."

"Well, thanks for that," Olivia smiled, "But I wouldn't have minded. You didn't walk home did you?"

Alex shook her head, "Nah, I called Cameron. She was on her way back from Queens anyway."

"Good," Olivia nodded. She turned her attention back to the painting in front of them. "What do you think?"

The blonde paused, "You know I think I love it."

Olivia glanced back at Cameron who was looking their way. She smiled and gave Cameron the thumbs up. The younger Cabot beamed and mouthed thanks before turning back to the group congregated around her.

An older woman walked over to them and stood next to Alex, "How was your night?"

Alex looked at the woman, "It was alright. Better because I had company."

The woman hugged Alex and whispered, "Is that her?"

Alex pulled away and subtly nodded.

Olivia was trying hard not to watch Alex interact with the woman. She tried to keep looking at painting while looking at Alex and the woman in her peripheral vision.

"Oh, um Mom, this is Detective Olivia Benson," Alex stepped back so they could see each other, "Liv this is my mom, Celine."

Olivia politely shook her hand, "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," Celine smiled, "How are you"

"Great," Olivia nervously put her free hand in her pocket, "You?"

"I'm doing well," Celine chuckled, "I hope to be seeing a lot more of you detective."

"Um, likewise," Olivia answered right before Alex and Cameron's mom walked off.

Alex didn't realize it, but Cameron kept refilling her champagne or handing her another glass every time she knew her older sister's glass was empty. And she smiled wickedly every time she did it. This was all part of the master plan.

Before long, Alex was giggling like a little girl. Olivia was entirely amused and happily took the job as Alex's crutch. She didn't need much help, but a few times Alex would put her hand on Olivia's arm to steady herself.

"I think I'm going to go home," Alex looked at her sister while Olivia stood vigilant by her side.

Cameron smirked, baiting the detective, "How are you gonna get home?"

"I'll make sure she gets home," Olivia offered.

Cameron grinned victoriously. She hugged Olivia, "Thanks for coming and taking care of my lush sister."

"I am not a lush," Alex narrowed her eyes, "You kept handing me drinks." Had she not drunken so much she would have figured out Cameron's endgame, but in her slightly inebriated state, Alex just wanted to go home.

Cameron hugged Alex and whispered in her ear, "It's all over. She's so into you. Just go for it."

The oldest blonde shook her head, the plan Cameron enacted finally making sense. "I'll…" Alex paused, "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Great," Cameron chuckled, "I'm going to go home."

A few minutes later, Olivia was leading Alex to her car. Alex quietly sat in her seat while the detective drove. When they got to Alex's apartment, she started to get out, but stumbled a bit. Olivia immediately got out and slid her arm around Alex's waist.

The blonde looked at Olivia, realizing that Olivia's face was mere inches from her own. It was quiet sobering so Alex swallowed hard and turned to face Olivia, "I think I can make it from here."

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked glancing behind Alex, knowing that even the drunkest drunk could make it up to Alex's apartment.

Luckily a lingering amount of alcohol help Alex take a step toward Olivia's and wrap her arms around Olivia's neck, "Thank you Liv."

For her part, Olivia was stunned before holding into Alex's waist. She wanted Alex as subtly close to her as possible without alerting Alex to her intention.

It was in that moment that Alex really felt Olivia. Not just her body, but her pure, innate warmth and caring nature. It was in the way to Olivia was holding her and Alex knew that she absolutely loved it.

In her Olivia-ness induced haze, Alex found herself with her lips pressed to the brunette's. There was a moment of hesitation on the ADA's part before Olivia leaned more into the kiss. She wasn't sure who initiated it, but she couldn't stop herself from ending it.

After a step back, Alex ran a hand through her hair, "Um, thanks for the… ride." Olivia couldn't manage to say anything. The combination of her kiss with Alex and the sudden loss of the heat that was spreading through her body from her contact with Alex, rendered her stagnant.

Before Olivia was able to get a syllable out, Alex had disappeared into her building. The detective watched Alex's blonde hair fade away down the hallway before sighing and getting back into her car. It happened so fast it was going to take a while to settle in.


	11. Chapter 11

"Alexandra Cabot!" Cameron's sing song voice came from the doorway of the ADA's bedroom, "I got you breakfast."

It took Alex, who was asleep before Cameron called from her door, a few minutes to figure out what was going on. As soon as she realized it was her sister and that it was six am, Alex rolled over and groaned, "Remind me to take away your key."

Cameron knew the only way to persuade Alex out of bed before seven was coffee and she anticipated this, bringing her big sister's favorite coffee. She trotted back to the bedroom with the hot coffee in her hand. Sitting down next to her sister she held the coffee between her hands as she crossed her legs in front of her.

Alex felt the weight of Cameron on her bed and rolled over to face her sister, "How are you awake?"

"Lots and lots of coffee," Cameron smiled, handing the coffee over.

"When did you wake up?" Alex asked, blowing on her coffee.

Cameron pretended to think, looking at the ceiling. "Yesterday."

The older blonde raised an eyebrow, "You haven't been to bed yet?"

Her sister shook her head. "I'm too excited." Knowing that her sister was going to ask, "I sold every single painting on the wall."

"That's great," Alex beamed, so proud of her sister, "How much?"

"That's not important," Cameron chuckled, "What is important is that I'm taking you and Olivia to dinner."

At the mention of the detective's name, Alex sighed and looked down.

"Lex," Cameron urged her sister, "What happened?"

"I, sort of um…kissed her? Then I ran off," Alex stated, hanging her head.

Cameron sighed, "Lex, you have to stop doing that. You need to let yourself go. Repeat after me. Let. Go."

"I'm trying, but I have to go to work today and I need to prep her with her testimony in my case tomorrow," Alex let her head lull back on the headboard, "So what do I do?"

"Kiss her again," Cameron stood up, "And don't be drunk."

"That wasn't my fault," Alex raised an eyebrow at Cameron, "You kept handing me champagne and before I knew it…"

"Yeah, but I gave you the opportunity to make a move on Olivia and you blew it," Cameron started walking to the door, "Now I have to extend my plan." As she started to walk out the door, Cameron turned around, "I forgot about a pottery class I'm teaching at the community college in downtown. I need you to come."

"Why?" Alex asked, sipping her coffee.

"There's an empty seat and I hate when there's an empty pottery wheel," Cameron leaned on the doorframe, "It looks bad. Please please please."

"Fine," Alex shrugged, "Stop begging."

"You're the best."

"I know," the ADA muttered before getting out of bed to get read for the day.

The second she walked into her office, Alex was summoned by Jack McCoy to talk about a new higher profile case that didn't involve the sex crimes unit. She agreed to take it on and McCoy hinted at her succeeding him as EADA when he assumed the title of District Attorney in a few day.

The promise of a new work load and having to leave behind the sex crimes unit weighted down on her. She didn't want to leave sex crimes. That was were she felt she belonged.

Before she knew it lunch had passed and four thirty had crept up on her. She rested her head on her desk from exhaustion. She was going to make sure to glare at the teacher from the back of the pottery class.

There were two knocks on her door and she called, "C'min," before thinking about it.

Her heart nearly stopped when Olivia stepped in. "I hope I'm not interrupting." The detective was cautious wondering if Alex even remembered kissing her the night before.

Alex glanced at the clock, "Oh no. I totally lost track of time."

"Have you eaten?" Olivia asked, immediately concerned.

After thinking for a moment Alex shook her head, "I don't think so."

"Do you want me to get you something?" the detective offered.

The blonde smiled, "No thanks. I'll get something after this." She rubbed her eyes, "So what case were we on?"

"Brendlin," Olivia stated, sitting professionally across from Alex.

"Oh yeah," Alex dug in her desk for a folder and pulled it out, "Okay. I'll call you to the stand blah blah blah and the defense attorney had already promised to try to dig up anything she can on you and Elliot so if there's any discretions that I don't already know about please let me know."

Olivia thought for a while, "I think you know everything there is to know about me."

Alex slid her glasses on and made a note in the file, "Okay, take me through the case. Step by step."

Olivia explained everything she could remember and then consulted her notes. When she was done, Alex set her pen down and leaned back in her chair, "Thank you." She slid off her glasses and rubbed her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Olivia asked, hoping that Alex would bring up the night before.

The woman across the desk nodded, "Cameron just decided to wake me up at six am."

"Why?" the detective raised an eyebrow.

"She sold all her paintings," Alex couldn't stop a smile.

The smile spread to Olivia's face, "That's fantastic."

Alex's smiled faded as her thoughts returned to the night before. She looked over at Olivia that was looking at her. When she opened her mouth to explain Olivia's phone rang.

The detective pulled out her phone and looked at the screen. She stood and looked at Alex, "I have to take this, but will you call me tonight at about nine? I wanted to talk to you."

"Sure," Alex nodded, almost sure that Olivia wanted to talk about their kiss.

With that, Olivia walked out to answer her phone.

Alex rubbed her eyes again and sighed. It had been a long day. A long, long day that started way too early.

Before she knew it, Alex was already walking down the sterile hallway of the small college. She liked that Cameron liked to teach art and that she didn't do it for the money. She did it for the love of it.

She immediately spotted her sister when she walked into the small room. Most of the people sitting at the potters wheels were older women, but some were of average college age and everyone was facing Cameron who was sitting on the only desk in the room.

"Hey Lex," she smiled as Alex walked over to her, "I saved you a wheel in the back so you an make mean faces and no one else will see you."

"Thanks," Alex smiled wearily.

"I'm glad you changed," Cameron indicated Alex's jeans and long sleeved navy blue shirt, "This gets messy. I'm taking you to dinner after this by the way."

"Good. You owe me for waking me up before dawn," Alex smirked and walked to the back, taking a seat on a stool behind a wheel. She'd been to her sister's pottery classes before so she had a basic grasp of what she was doing. As she put up her hair, she heard her sister say, "I'm so glad you could make it."

Alex looked up and was stunned to see Detective Olivia Benson. Olivia smiled at Cameron who motioned to the seat next to Alex. When Olivia followed Cameron's gesture she locked eyes with the blonde ADA. They were both frozen in place.

Cameron grinned wickedly and turned to the class, "If you'll all take your seats, we'll start."

Olivia gained motor functions again and silently made her way to the back of the class next to Alex, suddenly feeling like she was in high school again. She sunk onto the stool next to Alex and took a deep breath. They weren't at work anymore with cases to hide behind. It was awkward beyond awkward and Alex tried her best not to look at Olivia.

From the front of the classroom, Cameron paused in her brief lecture to look at Alex and Olivia who were trying desperately not to look at each other. She turned to the board and rolled her eyes. She muttered, "They're like teenagers." Before continuing to teach the class.

* * *

Quick question....does anyone know of any good Alex/Serena fics? I think I've read like two and completely loved them, but I can't find any more. Is it me or is there none out there? Thanks for your answered and reviews.


	12. Chapter 12

Alex threw the clay onto the wheel, mostly to get it to stick, but also to draw the attention of her sister. Cameron Cabot was not at all phased by the glares she was getting from her sister. She was immune to the icy stare that had murderers and pedophiles trembling when she walked into the courtroom. She'd been getting them since she was old enough to steal Alex's toys.

Cameron walked around the classroom as lopsided bowls and ashtrays started to form. Alex was the only one doing anything close to the jar they were supposed to be making. Cameron smirked, liking that Alex was in her class, giving her a faux sense of power over her sister. "Your bowl is crooked, Miss Cabot."

"Bite me," Alex muttered concentrating hard on the clay twirling in front of her.

"What was that?" Cameron beamed, loving when she could push her sister's buttons.

Alex stopped the wheel and looked up at Cameron was an obviously forced smile, "It's not a bowl, it's a chiminea."

"For a mouse?" Cameron quipped back.

"Yes," Alex deadpanned, "For the one that I saw in your garage."

Cameron's smile faded, "There's a what?"

Alex saw a hand go up behind her sister, "I think one of your students needs you."

With one last glare at her older sister, Cameron walked off trying to decide if there really was a mouse in her garage.

The ADA glanced over at Olivia who seemed to be having a lot of trouble. A piece of the clay broke off and fell onto the ground. She watched as the detective picked it up and threw it back on the wheel with more force than necessary.

Alex decided to try to make up for being standoffish before and picked up her stool as she stood and placed it on the other side of the wheel from Olivia.

"Having some trouble?" Alex asked with a slight smile at the frown Olivia was directing at the clay.

Olivia sighed and nodded, "This is impossible."

"No it's not," Alex leaned forward, "Get your hands wet."

Olivia carefully dipped her hands into the water bowl and held them over the clay. She looked at Alex for further instruction.

"Now start the wheel and give me your hands," Alex stated. Olivia complied and held her hands out for Alex to manipulate however she wished.

The blonde put her hands on the outside of Olivia's and brought them down on the outside of the clay, slowly forming the clay into a cylinder block. Alex manipulated Olivia's hands like they were her own and moved the detective's thumbs into the middle to create a hole. She then moved their hands to the bottom of the clay to make it taller.

All this time Alex was focusing on forming the bowl/ashtray/jar and Olivia was focusing on the feel of Alex's hands and the proximity the blonde was to her.

It took a while, but together they made a decent bowl. They were both so focused on their little project together that neither one had noticed that the only person in the room besides them was Cameron. She was sitting at a wheel making a very complicated looking vase. She looked at Alex and Olivia when she heard the wheel stop.

"That is the longest time I've ever seen to make a bowl," Cameron commented, finishing her vase with a handle and a design drawn into the side with a toothpick. She turned it toward the two and showed a heart. "Now I hate to break up this little love fest, but I have to lock up this room so you two are going to have to make out somewhere else."

Alex's jaw dropped and Olivia just looked confused as to what she was talking about. The youngest girl just smiled and stood. She walked to the door and turned off the light, leaving Alex and Olivia in the dark with just the light from the door leading them out.

Cameron walked off in front of them and out the doors of the building. Olivia followed while Alex trailed her, keeping a few feet between them.

The youngest blonde turned around, smiling. She hugged Olivia then Alex and added, "I hope to see you soon Liv." She looked at her sister, "Uh, I'm going home. And locking the door. So you can't get in." Cameron dodged a swat aimed at her arm and scampered off to her car.

This left Alex and Olivia standing on the sidewalk together. Olivia kicked at the ground and Alex looked around. Finally the blonde decided to speak, "Do you have time for a cup of coffee? I think we need to talk."

Relieved that Alex finally said something, Olivia agreed. They seemed to communicate without speaking and both started walking toward a coffee shop down the street. When they sat at the tiny table and got their coffee neither one seemed able to talk.

"So…" Olivia tried to start the conversation, but couldn't seemed to finish a sentence.

Alex tapped the side of her coffee cup, "So…"

* * *

Sorry it's so short. I had to recreate a crime scene for a project and you'd be surprised how long that takes. I'm exhausted so dun dun dun cliffhanger.

P.S. I 'm still searching for some Alex/Serena. I don't know why. I may just have to write my own. I'm going to see if there is a forum for SVU femslash challenges on this site and if not I'll try to make one. I always love a good challenge and I have a few challenges of my own ;-) Anyway thanks for reading and for the answers to my Alex/Serena question. Hope you enjoy.


	13. Chapter 13

Before either on could form words, Alex's phone rang. She looked at the screen and glanced at Olivia, muttering, "Excuse me," before answering. "Cabot…mhm…okay…okay…I'll get it and have it to you within an hour." When she hung up Alex looked at Olivia again, "I have to go get a warrant. I'm filling in for a narcotics ADA friend of mine. I'm so sorry I really wanted to talk."

"It's fine," Olivia smiled reassuringly, "We can talk later."

The blonde stood with her coffee and paused, "I'm sorry I kissed you. It won't happen again." As soon as the last syllable left her lips, she exited the coffee shop and hurried off down the street.

Olivia watched Alex disappear into the night. She rested her chin in her hand and sighed. She decided that she needed to formulate a plan and that warranted the help of the master of plan making herself. She just hoped that the master hadn't gone to bed yet.

Alex yawned. She almost regretted offering to taking her friend's on-call nights while she was on her honeymoon. She sat at Fin's desk and looked over crime scene pictures while Munch sat at his desk and Fin leaned on his next to Alex.

"As you can see our vic was…well-ventilated," Fin mentioned, pushing off of his desk to walk to the coffee machine.

Alex sighed and set the glossy photograph back on the desk in the folder. She slid off her glasses, adding, as she rubbed the bridge of her nose, "As well-ventilated as Swiss cheese." After a beat she asked, "So why the overkill?"

"Well, years of hanging around Huang tells me that someone was angry," Munch deadpanned.

Alex rolled her eyes, "Thank you for you insight."

Fin walked back over to the desk and handed a cup of coffee to Alex, "Don't mind him. He's grouchy in the morning."

"Thank you," Alex accepted the coffee and blew on it, "It's okay. I am too. I'm sorry if I'm a little curt. I had a long night."

"Oh do tell," Munch leaned forward in his desk, suddenly interested in the details of Alex's night.

The blonde shook her head, "Nothing fun or interesting. I was running warrants to the narcotics unit until three this morning."

"And here I thought you were seeing us exclusively," Fin smirked.

That elicited a small smile from the blonde, "It was a favor for a friend. Last night was my last night of covering for her. I can be monogamous again."

Fin and Munch chuckled.

It wasn't long before Elliot pushed open the door and offered a polite, "Good morning."

A collective groan came from the detectives and their ADA.

Elliot chuckled as he hung up his coat, "That good huh?"

"Cabot's cranky," Munch added.

"Ha ha," Alex quipped. She turned her attention to the window that had been opened earlier to let the musty air circulate in the small room. It had started pouring outside a few minutes earlier. Pouring was an understatement of sorts. It was like that sky had scooped up as much ocean as possible and dumped it on the city so that the falling water was pounding on the city. All Alex wanted to do at that moment was to crawl into bed and listen to the rain. She hadn't had a decent night's sleep in almost a week and she knew a few minutes of listening to the rain would lead to falling asleep.

That train of thought was a bad idea because Alex realized how bad she wanted to go to bed. If she could find a way to reschedule her meeting with Donnelly this afternoon, she decided that she would go to bed and sleep until the next morning.

Then the thoughts of sleep reminded her of the night she fell asleep on Olivia and how nice it would be to fall asleep with her again, in her own bed. But Alex was quick to dismiss those thoughts. Olivia wasn't hers to fantasize about. At this point she was lucky if they were still friends.

Speaking of the brunette detective Alex looked to Elliot, "Where's Liv?"

"She took the day off," Elliot answered. He studied her for a minute, "Maybe you should too. You look like hell."

"Gee thanks," Alex self-consciously ran a hand through her hair.

"I'm just saying you look tired," Elliot smirked and shook his head, "You lawyers are so literal."

Alex sighed and stood, "I'm going to call my boss and see if I can take the rest of the day off." The blonde slowly stood, finally aware of how completely exhausted she was.

It was perfectly fine by Liz Donnelly that Alex took the afternoon off. All the trials for her open cases didn't start until the next week so instead of just having the afternoon off, Donnelly told Alex to take tomorrow off also.

So Alex went home and changed into some comfortable clothes before opening her windows and falling into bed. With every thick blanket she owned on her, Alex closed her eyes and let out a relaxing sighed. There was only one thing missing from this perfect afternoon.

And it wasn't her front door opening and closing. She loved her sister to death, but there were times when Alex just wanted to be alone. This time was one of them.

"You okay Lexi?" her sister's soft voice came from the doorway.

"Mhm," Alex kept her eyes closed and snuggled deeper into her pillow, "Just tired. I'm going to sleep for a while."

"Um, can it wait five minutes?" Cameron asked just as quietly.

"Why?" Alex finally sat up, "What's wrong?" When she saw her sister in the doorway, her eyes traveled past her to the brunette detective she had just been thinking about.

"You have a visitor," Cameron added with a small smile, "I'll be in the kitchen." She turned and walked past Olivia who hesitantly stood in the doorway.

Alex automatically glanced down to see what she was wearing. A white cami and really short pink, green, and blue striped boxers weren't her ideal outfit for having visitors, but she didn't seem to have a choice.

The bashful looking detective put her hands in her pockets and looked at the ground, "I'm sorry for dropping in on you like this."

"It's okay," Alex smoothed out a place on the bed and scooted back against the headboard, "Come sit down."

Olivia tentatively walked into the bed room and sat on the edge of the bed facing Alex, "We didn't get to finish talking last night."

"Oh?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow. She picked up her glasses and slid them on so she could see Olivia perfectly.

"Yeah," Olivia picked at the top blanket, "I…I hope you don't mean what you said about never kissing me again."

The blonde was completely bewildered until what Olivia said sunk in. "You…I…What?"

Olivia smiled at the loss of words, "I came to ask you out. Dinner or a show. Anything you want to do."

"Really?" Alex asked quietly, not quite sure about what Olivia was asking. Actually she barely believed it. It was never this easy. At least not for her.

The detective took Alex's hand and nodded, "Yeah. Because when you kissed me, it took me forever to figure out if you had kissed me or I have finally kissed you."

"Finally?" the blonde internally rolled her eyes at her inability to say anything not in the form of a question.

Another nod came from the older woman.

Suddenly Alex had a great idea, "Why don't you lose your jacket and shoes and keep me warm while I decide where you take me on our first date?"

A laugh came from Olivia who immediate complied. She laid down and Alex snuggled into her. "You smell good."

"Thanks," Olivia smiled, "I try." She stroked Alex's hair like the night Alex told her about her past.

After a few quiet content minutes, Olivia asked, "How come you get to decide where we go?"

"You're the one that ask me," Alex smirked, "You can pick where we go on the second date."

The brunette chuckled, "You seem to have a lot of faith in the first date."

Alex loved Olivia's smile and decided to make her smile as much as possible. After kissing Olivia's cheek, "Well I already have you in bed and we haven't even had our first date."

Another laugh came from Olivia, "Touché." She looked down at Alex and studied the icy blue eyes. They were different from how they usually were. They were soft and warm. She smiled sweetly and kissed Alex again.

Then Alex cuddled into Olivia and sighed. It turned out to be a perfect afternoon after all.

* * *

Okay. There will be another chapter. Probably more than one. Due to many flattering reviews and one stroke inspiration I've decided to continue.


	14. Chapter 14

OKay, for all of you who read the last chapter before I changed the footnote, I'm sorry. I changed my mind about ending this one. I like where it's going and Cameron is really fun to play with. Thanks for continuing to read.

* * *

"You should sleep," Olivia mentioned as Alex relaxed completely for the first time in a long time.

The blonde answered with her eyes closed, "I'm working on it. Do you have anywhere to be?"

"Not really," Olivia answered, "Not until later. I'm Elliot's excuse not to see his mother-in-law."

Alex smiled, "Well feel free to leave, but feel free to stay."

"Staying sounds good," the detective closed her eyes and put her hand on Alex's arm that was draped across her middle.

It wasn't long before both women were asleep. It wasn't two minutes later that Cameron came bounding through the door, "Hey Alex…Whoa!"

Both women snapped awake and Alex quickly regained her bearings, "What do you want Cameron?"

"I came to get those gray pants I let you borrow because I have a date," Cameron grinned, "And it looks like you do too."

Alex just looked at Olivia who was grinning like an idiot.

"Great," Cameron smirked and walked to the closet, "No more plans and scheming for me for a while. Although I am brilliant at it."

"And so full of yourself," Alex mumbled against Olivia's shoulder after they both laid down again, "Now leave so I can go back to sleep."

"What a bum," Cameron smirked grabbing the pants and making her way back to the door.

Once it was closed Alex contently closed her eyes again.

"Are you working tomorrow?" Olivia quietly asked, hoping that Alex wasn't asleep again already.

"No," Alex acutely shook her head, "Liz told me to take the day off since apparently she and Elliot think I look like hell."

"You don't look like hell," Olivia grinned, "You're beautiful."

The ADA blushed profusely. She sweetly replied, "Thank you."

"Is Alex Cabot blushing?" Olivia lightly teased looking down at Alex.

Pulling the covers over her head, Alex added, "I don't know what you're talking about."

After a brief yawn, Olivia added, "I've seen people drool over you since the first day I met you and that's the first time I've ever see you blush."

"None of those people are you," Alex confessed, "You're different."

"Some people don't think that's a good thing."

"I do," Alex closed her eyes again, removing the blanket from her face. She snuggled into Olivia holding her close.

"Anyway, do you wanna go to dinner tomorrow night?" Olivia asked. She couldn't help, but add, "You can wear that red dress you have. Unless, that's just for Trevor Langan."

"Olivia!" Alex pulled away and sat up, "Nothing of _mine_ is for Trevor Langan."

"Good," Olivia smirked, looking up at Olivia, "He's not good enough for you."

Alex smiled at Olivia, "Has anyone ever told you that you're very charming?"

The detective pretended to think, "Well…yeah, but it means more coming from you."

"Again, charming," the blonde ran a hand through her hair.

Olivia opened her arms and motioned for Alex to lay back down. The blonde complied and rested her head on the strong shoulder of her favorite detective. She loved laying here like this. She hadn't relaxed this much in a long time and she definite was starting to feel the rejuvenating effects.

They both fell asleep again, listening to the rain.

Around two hours later, Olivia's phone rang on. She automatically unhooked it and brought it to her ear, mumbling, "Benson."

"Liv?" Elliot asked, "Were you asleep?"

"Yeah," Olivia looked at the clock on the nightstand, "I'm sorry. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Take your time," Elliot answered, "I'll save you a stool."

Olivia watched Alex sleepily sit up and stretch. She smiled at the blonde's completely innocent behavior right after she woke up, "Okay. I'll be there in ten. Bye El."

"Bye" Elliot echoed before hanging up.

Olivia put her phone back on her bed and laid there watching Alex try to smooth out her hair.

"Elliot?" Alex asked with a yawn.

"He's already at the bar," Olivia reached over and placed a hand on Alex's him, "So I'm going to go."

"Okay," Alex smiled, liking the feeling of Olivia's hand on her hip. She leaned over and softly kissed the detective, their lips started to move in sync until Alex had to pull away. "Mmm, you need to go."

"Yeah," Olivia smiled back at Alex who was now biting her lip. The detective decided that it was one of the sexiest things she had ever seen, but she did need to go.

Alex leaned back away from Olivia and sat back down, "So are you gonna go or are you gonna lay there and stare at me?"

"I should go," Olivia sat up before slowly standing and sliding her shoes back, "How about one for the road?"

Alex stood up and walked to Olivia, sliding her arms around the detective's neck, "Just one."

"Mmk," Olivia leaned forward and captured Alex's lips for a few seconds before pulling away, "I'll pick you up tomorrow at seven?"

"Sure," Alex dropped her arms and followed Olivia to the front door, "Let me know if you need a ride tonight. I'm going to do the big sister thing and wait for Cameron to get home from her date."

Olivia chuckled, "Okay. I'll call you if I need a ride." She opened the door and stepped outside, "Bye."

"Bye," Alex lifted her hand and sort of waved.

Olivia walked into the hallway and to the elevator before closing the front door. After locking it Alex floated to the kitchen to start some tea before picking out a book from the bookshelf and settling on the couch.

"C'mon Liv," Elliot offered her another beer, "The game is about to start. You know the rules."

"Drink every time I miss," Olivia recited picking up the pool stick, "Why do we play drinking games?"

"Because we're at a bar and you're insanely competitive," Elliot smirked, "And I like watching the abnormality of you getting better the more you drink."

"Fine," Olivia rolled her eyes.

Two games later, Olivia was a little buzzed and Elliot was more buzzed than Olivia. She easily dialed Alex's number hoping that she wasn't asleep.

"Hey," Alex's cheery voice came over the line.

Olivia immediately smile, "Hey. Does the offer to come pick me up still stand?"

"Of course," Alex answered, "And I'm ten minutes away from every bar you hang out at because I decided I need a latte. So where are you Chauncey's or O'Malley's?"

"What if we're at a night club?" Olivia playfully asked.

"I hear pool being played and no house music," Alex stated, getting back into her car with the coffee in her hand.

"You got me," Olivia finally noticed Elliot listening her to conversation, "We're at Chauncey's. Can I bring a friend?"

"Sure," Alex shrugged although Olivia couldn't see, "I can take him home too."

"Do you need a ride?" Olivia asked Elliot who was leaning on the bar.

He nodded.

"Okay," Olivia rubbed her eyes and spoke into the phone, "See you in ten."

"Bye," Alex hung up amused. The tables had turned. Now Olivia was the tipsy one.

When she pulled up to Chauncey's, Olivia and Elliot were standing outside leaning into each other under an awning as a shelter from the rain. Olivia saw Alex's car at the curb and led her partner over to their ADA.

Elliot got in the passenger's seat at Olivia slid in to the backseat.

"Thanks for picking us up," Elliot told Alex, trying not to get the ADA's car wet.

The blonde smiled, "It's no problem. So you live in Queens?"

Elliot nodded, "But you don't have to take me all the way there. Just drop me at the train station."

"No. I'll take you," Alex started off toward Queens, "You don't need to be getting off in Flushing and finding a cab anyway. I had a friend that just worked a robbery-homicide up there."

Elliot smirked. Alex had never been that protective over anyone but victims that he'd seen, "I can take care of myself, but thanks for your concern."

"Just tell me where you live," Alex rolled her eyes where Elliot couldn't see at his tough guy persona. It was all the more ridiculous when she'd seen before that Elliot was really just a big teddy bear out to protect as many people as possible.

The drive was pretty quiet and when Elliot got out, stating that he owed Alex one, Olivia moved to the front seat.

"I'm taking you home?" Alex asked as she finally go back into Manhattan.

"Yeah," Olivia leaned her head back on the headrest, "That'd be great."

The rest of the way Olivia searched for something to say while Alex seemed content in the silence. Before the detective knew it, they were in front of her apartment building.

"Thanks," Olivia smiled at the blonde in the driver's seat watching her.

"No problem," Alex smiled sweetly.

Olivia remained seated determined to drag this goodbye on as long as possible, "So I'm picking you up tomorrow at seven?"

"Yes."

"Good," Olivia sighed. She stayed still, deep in thought.

A chuckle came from the driver of the vehicle. She knew what Olivia was doing. "Feel free to call any time tomorrow."

"Great," the detective finally opened the door and started to get out. She paused realizing she forgot something. She leaned into the car, really close to Alex who met her halfway. The kiss was sweet and Olivia couldn't believe she'd kissed Alex at least four times in one day.

"Sleep well," Olivia barely whispered before getting out of the car and trotting her to the front door of her apartment in the freezing rain.

Alex was glad when she finally got home and was able to scamper inside. When she walked into the living room, Cameron was sitting on the couch, "Where have you been?"

"Mexico," Alex stated dryly.

"Har har," Cameron stood up, "Where's Olivia?"

"At home," Alex took off her jacket, "She went to have drinks with her partner and they needed rides. How was your date?"

Cameron suddenly got this dreamy look on her face and beamed, "She's wonderful. Funny and smart. She took me to this hole in the wall restaurant that specializes in Australian food and…it was just great. I think there's a second date in the works."

"That's great," Alex kicked off her shoes and walked into her bedroom. Cameron followed her in and watched at her sister stretched with her hands over her hair.

"So what's going on with you and the hot detective?"

Alex just smiled at her sister, "That's for me to know and you to…not stick your nose in."

"Hey if I didn't stick my nose into it in the first place there'd be nothing to know now," Cameron put her hands in the air, "But if that's how you want it, fine. I won't ask."

"I'll tell you later," Alex fell onto her bed, "I'm beat."

"Wow," Cameron widened her eyes for dramatic effect, "Did she wear you out that bad?" The younger blonde had to dodge a flying pillow aimed at her face. She smiled at her sister who was poised to throw again, "Goodnight favorite sister of mine."

"Goodnight favorite pain in my ass," Alex called after her.


	15. Chapter 15

I'm warning you now that this chapter is a bit of a downer. I think it's needed to move to story along, but it's still sort of sad.

* * *

It was almost ten by the time Alex finally woke up. She smiled at the pleasantness of not having her phone or an alarm wake her up for the first time in more than a month. Realizing that it was usually lighter at ten a.m., Alex barely lifted her head and found the rain was pounding on the city harder than it had the day before. She could barely see past a few feet from her window.

After laying in bed and listening to the rain, Alex decided to get up and search for food as her stomach was already growling at her. She was used to eating around seven so the three hour delay meant her stomach wasn't happy.

Upon entering the living room she found Cameron sitting on the couch watching TV and eating cereal. The younger blonde smiled, "Good morning."

"Morning," Alex murmured, making her way to the kitchen.

She emerged a few minutes later with a bowl of cereal and took her place next to her sister on the couch. After the first few bites, Alex asked, "Is there a reason you're watching cartoons?"

"Yes," Cameron answered, not adding any further explanation.

The eldest Cabot rolled her eyes and continued eating. She saw the news paper on the coffee table and scanned over the headlines. Nothing major had happened in a few hours she was dead to the world.

Her eyes went to the paper that was already strew out across the table. She saw the crossword puzzle was on top next to a pen. One line was filled in and the rest of the puzzle was barren.

"Have fun with the crossword?" Alex smirked.

Cameron grinned and looked at her sister, "You know I'm terrible at those. What happens when I read the clue is like the word association shrinks do and the first thing that pops into my mind never fits and I can't think of anything else. Except ninja. I got that one right today."

Alex chuckled, "Of course you did."

Cameron leaned into her sister and rested her head on Alex's shoulder, "Remember when we were kids and after a bad night, you'd tell me the story about the princess that rescued herself?"

"Mhm," Alex wrapped her arms around her sister, the feeling of needing to protect her sister overwhelming her again. This happened every time Cameron brought up their childhood. If she could help it Alex didn't talk about it, but it seemed like it helped Cameron to talk about it so Alex would never stop her even though almost every time Cameron would go into such detail the ADA would end up in tears. She would never cry in front of Cameron though. She'd go into another room or wait until Cameron left. She was always the big, strong sister, a role Alex took seriously.

Every time the reminisced together, Alex could feel the cold hatred and disappointment of their father and she could see a six year old Cameron cowering in her bedroom knowing she was about to be punished. She could feel the betrayal of her childhood trust in her father and she could hear her mother whispering apologies while she held her daughters. It was all very painful and it was something Alex seemed to relive everyday.

"That was my favorite story," Cameron smiled wistfully, "Did you make it up yourself?"

"Yes," Alex loosened her grip as Cameron shifted into a laying position so that her back was leaning on her sister. "Although my second grade teacher did ask the class one time why the knight always rescued the princess and I thought about it for the rest of the day and decided that that's not always what should happen."

"You were always really smart," Cameron closed her eyes. She could vividly see their childhood house. The room that she used to sleep in was particularly clear, "And you'd sneak into my room and make sure I was okay before telling me the story and waiting until I fell asleep to leave."

"Mhm," Alex ran her hand through Cameron's hair and held her sister tight, "After you went to sleep, I'd look out your window at the street and watched the cars go by."

"You never told me that," Cameron turned to look at her sister whose face was unreadable at the moment.

Alex found her sister's icy blue eyes and shrugged, "I never really thought about it."

The younger of the two turned back around and continued talking, "The last time you told me that story was when we were on the way to the hospital after your arm was broken." Cameron looked down at the arms around her and lightly traced Alex's scar with the tips of her fingers, "Why did you stop?"

After a deep breath, Alex replied, "I guess I just forgot. When we moved out with mom, things got hectic."

"You always read to me during those nights when mom didn't get home until late and you had me go to bed on time," Cameron went on as Alex felt tears sting the back of her eyes. There was a brief pause and Cameron asked, "What did you do to that bully that would pick on me when we walked to school?"

"I had a talk with him one of the days you didn't go to school," Alex rested her cheek on the top of Cameron's head, "He pretty much steered clear of both of us after that."

"When you say talk you mean threatened right?"

"Of course," Alex smiled a little.

"That's my big sis," Cameron sighed, "Thanks for that."

"You don't have to thank me. It's my job as your older sister," Alex stroked the other blonde's hair again.

"The world would be a great place if everyone had a big sister as great as you," came from the youngest Cabot.

"Thanks Cam," the ADA let out a silent breath.

After a few more minutes of silence, Alex was pretty sure the more she thought the harder it was getting not to cry. She always hated crying. Growing up, crying meant weakness and weakness meant you weren't good enough. Alex had long since accepted that her father never though she was good enough although she was a straight A student who never got into trouble or talked back except when defending her younger sister.

As Alex started to shift, Cameron sat up. The eldest blonde ran a hand through her hair, "I'm going to go take a shower."

Cameron nodded silently. She knew that Alex didn't like to cry in front of her and sometimes Cameron wished that she would learn when to stop talking, but she was so little when everything happened and didn't remember much. The one thing she did remember was Alex being her champion, best friend, and most of all constant guardian.

__

There's still a little bit of your taste in my mouth  
There's still a little bit of you laced with my doubt  
It's still a little hard to say what's going on

Alex close the bathroom door and locked it. It wasn't long before she had stripped completely and had turned on the shower. She looked down at the scar on her arm and ran her fingers over it like Cameron just had. _  
_

The blonde ADA stood in the shower and looked up into the water letting it mix with the silent tears that were running down her face. A whirlwind of emotions running through her, Alex pushes her hair out of her face and takes a deep breath trying to calm herself.

__

There's still a little bit of your song in my ear  
There's still a little bit of your words i long to hear  
You step a little closer to me  
So close that I can't see what's going on

To the world she was ADA Alexandra Cabot. The ice princess. The people's advocate. The great big sister. The good daughter. The salutatorian of her law school class. The shining example of how good things can come from bad situations. She was strong, sharp, and unwavering.

But the rare times that the memories crash down on her, she doesn't feel like any of that. She feels like she's sinking.

__

Stones taught me to fly  
Love, it taught me to lie  
Life, it taught me to die  
So it's not hard to fall  
When you float like a cannonball

* * *

The song at the end is Cannonball by Damien Rice. Another song I thought about putting in there is Beautiful Disaster by Jon Mclauglin. Both of those songs have a tenency to make me cry and both were appropriate. Both of them are very well written and I recommend them both to everyone.


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry it has taken a while to update. I've been super busy. Hope you enjoy. There's a new arc coming soon I promise.

* * *

"Alex!" Cameron walked it the bedroom. She looked around when she didn't see her sister anywhere, "Lex?"

"In here," Alex replied, stepped into the doorframe of the bathroom. She was wearing lacey pink hot pants and a white cami. A blow dryer was dangling in her hand.

"Getting ready already?" Cameron smirk, Alex's cell phone in her hand.

Alex shrugged, "I'm just straightening my hair so I can figure out what to do with it."

"Well Detective Hot Stuff is on the phone," The younger blonde offered the phone to Alex.

The ADA snatched it up and put the phone to her ear, "Hey Liv."

Cameron just grinned before walking off.

"Hey," Olivia replied with amusement in her voice, "Does she always refer to me as Detective Hot Stuff?"

Alex immediately blushed, "You heard that?"

"Yeah," the Olivia chuckled.

"Sorry," Alex muttered peering around the corner so if Cameron happened to be standing there, she could glare. Since she wasn't, Alex stepped back into the bathroom, running her fingers through her hair while she looked in the mirror, "I'll try to break her of that habit."

"It's fine," Detective Hot Stuff answered, "I'm calling to make sure we're still on."

"Of course we are," the blonde answered, "Just let me know where we're going so I know what to wear and how to do my hair."

"We are going to El Bristol," Olivia mentioned.

Alex searched the streets of Manhattan for the restaurant Olivia had named and she was finally able to place it. "How did you- oh my god Liv that's place is amazing."

"You've been?" the detective asked, "I have a friend that's a soux chef there."

"I went to a charity gala or something there," Alex explained, "What are you wearing?"

"A black dress," a smile was evident in Olivia's voice.

Many things flashed through Alex's mind. There were a number of black dresses that would look amazing on her date. In fact, Alex couldn't picked a dress that wouldn't. "Nice. I should start getting ready then if I'm going to look half as good at you."

A full laugh came from the other end of the line, "I'm just trying to keep up with you. I'll see you in a few hours."

"Okay Liv. Bye," Alex smiled.

"Bye."

The blonde put her phone down and looked at herself in the mirror. She couldn't stop a smile from gracing her face.

Suddenly, Cameron ran into the bedroom and slid in her socks, stopping a little past the door. "So?" She asked expectantly.

"So what?" Alex asked, resuming the straightening of her hair.

Cameron smiled, "Where are you going? What are you going to wear?" there was a pause, "You're doing your hair like that?"

"What's wrong with my hair?" Alex asked, looking in the mirror again.

The younger sister ran a hand through Alex's hair, "Nothing, but that's just…boring."

"You think everything I do is boring," Alex removed Cameron's hand from her hair, "It's fine."

"At least curl it in at the bottom," Cameron leaned on the doorframe, "I can do it for you."

The taller woman shook her head, "No way. I can do it."

"Well, what are you going to wear?" the artist asked.

Alex sighed, "I don't know. Maybe that backless teal dress."

"Yes!" the youngest Cabot trotted to the closet, "You look great in that."

Within an hour, Alex was all dressed in a teal backless dress that swept around the tops of her black heels. After a few deep breaths, Alex ran a hand through her hair.

"Stop touching your hair," Cameron fussed and straightened it out.

Alex frowned at her sister, "Stop touching my hair."

As they were straightening out Alex's dress, a knock on the door sounded through the apartment. Cameron squealed, "This is great. It's like your first date. Of course I was mad at you on your real first date. You stole my shoes."

"Yeah well these are yours too," Alex smirked.

"Alex!" Cameron put her hands on her hips.

"Go answer the door," Alex pushed her sister toward the door, "I have to put the lip gloss on."

The younger sister trotted out the door and slid to a stop at the front door. "Who is it?" she called in a sing-song voice.

"Detective Hot Stuff," came from the other side of the door.

Cameron laughed and opened the door. She whistled when she saw Olivia standing on the other side of the door with her hair in parted at the right, a few wispy strands running over her eyes. She pushed them out of the way with a smile. The black dress she wore went off of one shoulder and tapered off to the side.

"Hi Cameron," Olivia hugged her date's younger sister.

Cameron grinned, "You look good."

"Thanks," Olivia blushed slightly.

The blonde looked toward the bedroom, "I'll go get my sister. She'll wanna see this."

"I hope so," the detective added, "She's stuck with me all night."

"Alexandra!" Cameron called, walking into the bedroom, "Come take her out before I do."

Olivia momentarily stopped breathing when Alex stepped into the room. She stopped after her first step out of the bedroom. The light caught her eyes just right making them twinkle when she smiled at Olivia.

A flash of a camera brought the two out of the moment. Cameron looked up from the lens and smirked, "I have the first date on film. I'll be in the bedroom, going through Alex's closet and throwing away everything that's ugly."

"Shall we?" Alex asked, ignoring her sister, but making a mental note to go through her closet when she got home.

Olivia nodded. She waited for Alex to grab her clutch before leading the way out.

Once in the elevator, Alex smiled as she glanced over at Olivia. The detective saw this out of the corner of her eye and looked at the blonde, "What?"

Alex shook her head, "You look really beautiful."

"So do you," Olivia replied, looking down, causing the hair to fall back into her face.

The blonde reached over and pushed the hair out of the way. Olivia took the hand that Alex was using to fix her hair. She slid the hand to the back of her own neck before taking Alex's hips in her hands and pulled Alex into a heated kiss. Soon, both of Alex's hands were on the back of Olivia's neck and Olivia's hands had slid to the small of Alex's back, holding her close. Years of built up sexual tension was just starting to bleed into the open.

The ding of the elevator ripped them apart. Alex innocently fixed the strands of Olivia's hair that she had messed up during the impromptu make out session. Olivia chuckled.

"Sorry about that," Alex finally finished playing with Olivia's hair.

The detective took Alex's hand, leading her out of the elevator, "Don't worry about it. That was enjoyable."

At the restaurant, the conversation flowed easily and the food was perfect. Although every time the conversation landed on the topic of Alex, she steered it away. This didn't go unnoticed by the detective. She decided to let it go for now knowing that because of Alex's particular situation trust had to be built up.

About halfway through the meal, Olivia's phone rang. Alex understandable leaned back in her chair, watching her date. The detective sighed, recognizing the number. "I'm sorry."

Alex smiled sweetly, "Go ahead."

The brunette nodded and flipped her phone top, "Benson…yeah Cap….yes…Right now?…Yeah….okay, I'll be there in an hour." She hung up and looked over at Alex, "I'm so sorry."

"It's alright," Alex kindly smiled, "You have to go save the city."

After waving the waiter over and paying the bill, Olivia drove Alex home. At the curb, Olivia got out with Alex, "I feel really bad."

"It's fine," the blonde genuinely smiled, "I'll probably do it to a you a couple times."

"I hope so," Olivia bashfully took Alex's hands, "Not that you'll leave in the middle of dinner, but that there will be more dinners?"

"Of course," Alex leaned forward capturing Olivia's lips. She brought a hand up to cup Olivia's cheek while the other rested on her side of her neck. She felt the detective's arm encircle her waist and hold her close. When Olivia held her like that, it would make up for a million interrupted dinners.

When Alex pulled away she added, "You should go."

"Yeah," Olivia nodded.

"I'll see you tomorrow I guess," the blonde quickly kissed Olivia before completely disengaging.

Olivia nodded, "I will." She looked Alex up and down one more time, smiling before getting into her car and driving off.

The second the key was in the lock, Cameron was off of the couch and standing. She watched Alex walk in and put her clutch down. "How'd it go? You're home too early."

"She got called into work, but other than that it was perfect," the blonde smiled, "And I am going to bed right now to end my day on a good note because tomorrow probably won't start well."

"Alright Lexi," Cameron hugged her sister, "I'm glad you had a good time."

"Thanks for pushing me to date her," Alex finally admitted.

A laugh came from her younger sister, "Remember that. On Christmas and my birthday."

"Yeah yeah," Alex smirked, "Goodnight Cam."

"'Night," Cameron called after her.


	17. Chapter 17

When she walked toward the reason her date was interrupted, the murdered little girl was enough to get Alex off of her mind for a while. Strangled with yellow nylon rope and tossed into the bushes in a park was no way to die. Especially for the innocent. It wasn't dignified. It was even humane in the least.

Olivia didn't remember the last date she got all the way through. It was probably in college maybe high school. Even though it was interrupted, she loved the date she had the night before.

After thoroughly inspecting the crime scene the techs told them that whatever evidence was there had to be taken to the lab to be identified so she and Elliot went back to the precinct to go through the missing persons reports, looking for a little girl matching her description.

It took a few hours but before they could identify her the lab called telling them who it was. Munch and Fin were dispatched to alert the family and ask the routine questions.

Meanwhile Cragen told Elliot and Olivia to head up to the crib because they had been up all night.

Olivia yawned and fell back on the bed, "I am so exhausted."

"Me too," Elliot sat on the bed next to her and removed his shoes, "Where were you when I called you last night?"

"Out," Olivia smirked, pulling the blanket over her.

"Out with who?" Elliot couldn't contain his smile, "Somewhere nice because you still had some lipstick on."

"I don't wear lipstick," Olivia stated, looking over at her partner.

Elliot rolled his eyes, "Sorry. Lip gloss." A sly grin crossed his face, "Unless it was someone else's lip gloss I saw."

"No comment," the brunette detective smirked and closed her eyes, "Now go to sleep. You look like hell."

The few hours of rest they got weren't enough, but Cragen woke them up to alert them that there was another victim and another crime scene.

"You okay?" Elliot asked as they sped to the second crime scene as the clock just turned to three o'clock.

Olivia shook out of her trance, "Yeah."

Elliot nodded, but didn't believe it. Olivia wasn't usually that unresponsive.

But when they got to the crime scene, Olivia was in detective mode. They pulled to a stop outside of a brownstone a few blocks from Olivia's apartment. There were already news crews and spectators gathered at the border of the crime scene. There always were when it was a homicide could be linked to another homicide. Apparently the other nearly five hundred homicides every year didn't warrant press coverage.

"Are there any leads?" one of the reporters shoved a microphone toward Olivia's face.

She didn't say anything as she followed Elliot under the crime scene tape. When they got out of earshot Elliot leaned over and whispered, "They ask us if there are any leads as we're walking into a crime scene?"

Olivia chuckled and followed Elliot up the steps and into the living room covered with crime scene techs and yellow evidence markers.

"Detectives," the usual crime scene tech nodded to them, "I can't be one hundred percent sure that this is the same guy until I get the rope to the lab, but it's the same brand and color as the fist victim."

Elliot swallowed hard looking at the little girl laying motionless on the ground. It took all her had not to superimpose one of his daughters' faces onto the little girl.

Olivia always felt a pit in the bottom of her stomach when it was a child. She always felt sick. Just like she did at the first crime scene in the bushes of a park.

Elliot's phone rang as they were going through the little girl's room in search of any clues. He pulled off one of his latex gloves and took it out. "Stabler…there is?…Buffalo?…damn it…okay." He snapped his phone shut.

"What happened?" Olivia asked.

"There's an other victim three blocks from here," Elliot took his other glove off and started out the door, "Cap said that they found an itinerary at the last crime scene and we're being sent to track him down. The name was Mark Quinn."

"Why us?" Olivia asked following Elliot past the reporters back to the car, "Aren't the Buffalo police capable of picking him up at the airport?"

Elliot jerked his head toward the media and go into the car, "Everyone is watching."

Jack McCoy walked into Alex's office around four in afternoon. She looked up at the sudden intrusion hoping that it was a specific female special victims detective, but was surprised her boss dropped in unannounced. She was also curious as to what was in the folder her boss was holding.

"What's up Jack?" Alex asked when McCoy just stood there looking around the room.

"I'm sure you're familiar with the Quinn case?" McCoy more stated than asked.

Alex set her pen down expecting a lengthy discussion. "I'm sure everyone is by now. The media is all over it."

A solemn nod came from McCoy. "And because of the media frenzy you know that the whole DA's office is under a microscope. Everything we do has to be perfect and has to be swift. That means all searches must be legal in every aspect, all arrests must be valid, and all questions must be defensible."

The blonde thought over what her boss just told her and slightly leaned forward on her elbows, "Isn't search, arrest, and questioning part of the detective's job?"

"Yes," McCoy nodded, setting the folder down on Alex's desk, "But now it's part of _your_ job to keep them in line. I'm not going to hand this over to the special prosecution division because I know you're already vested in it and very capable of getting a conviction yourself. However in order to make sure the proper procedures are done and your case is airtight, I'm sending you with the Special Victims detectives to Buffalo where they believe Mr. Quinn is. You already have the full cooperation of Buffalo PD and the DA's office."

Alex slid her finger under the tab on the folder and opened it. Inside was what she expected, a plane ticket and a print out of hotel reservations. She held in her sigh and nodded, "Okay."

"You should go home and pack. Your plane leaves at eight," Jack suggested, "Bring home the perp, Alex." With that the DA of Manhattan walked out.

Alex finally let out her sigh and wondered when the DA's office decided that the SVU detectives were incompetent and needed to be watched over.

It took her a while to muster up the energy to go home and pack for a trip to the city she promised herself she'd never return to.


	18. Chapter 18

Thanks to everyone that has reviewed so far. I'm super flattered. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Olivia was surprised when they stopped in front of Alex's apartment on the way to the airport and the blonde was sitting outside on the stairs up to the entrance of her apartment building, a bag sitting on the ground next to her. Her hair was pulled back and a sweatshirt declaring her law school alma mater hung limply on her.

Alex slowly stood and walked toward the car. The look on her face was almost of complete sadness. Like she was being forced to leave, against her will and she would never come back. It broke Olivia's heart although she wasn't sure what was upsetting the ADA.

After silently getting into the backseat of Elliot's car, Alex buckled herself in and Elliot took off. Neither Olivia nor Elliot knew what to say to their beloved ADA, who was silent.

Sense her colleagues' discomfort Alex finally spoke, "Thanks for picking me up."

"No problem," Elliot replied thankful that she said something, "Long day?"

"Sort of," Alex offered, "Anything I should know about the crime scenes that I didn't get pictures of?"

"I don't think so," Olivia stated, "They were pretty simple scenes."

"Good," Alex sighed, turning her attention back out the window. She never wanted to go back to Buffalo. Not for the rest of her life. When she called Cameron to tell her where she was going her sister immediately asked:

_"Why?" _

_ "For work," Alex explained, "A perp ran off to Buffalo and Jack is sending me with Olivia and Elliot."_

_ "Why?" Cameron asked again._

_ "It's a high profile case, Cam," Alex added as she started to pack, "Everything has to be airtight."_

_ "Is he still there?" Cameron's voice got unusually quiet._

_ Alex sat on her bed and looked out the window, "Last time I checked, but he's off of probation. He doesn't have to check in anywhere. He could be gone."_

_ "I hope so," the younger of the two sighed, "Even if he isn't, Buffalo is a big city."_

_ "It's not that big," Alex watched people walk by under her window before closing her eyes, "I feel sick."_

_ "Do you need me to come over?" Cameron asked, immediately._

_ "No," Alex bit her lip, "They're about to be here to pick me up."_

_ "Oh," the artist paused, "I love you Lex."_

_ "I love you too," Alex said quietly, "I'll call you when we land."_

_ "Okay," Cameron didn't seem to want to get off of the phone, but seemed appropriate to, "Bye, big sis."_

_ "Bye Cam," Alex closed her phone and set it next to her on the bed. An overwhelming feeling of nausea overtook her and Alex bolted for the bathroom._

Traffic was surprisingly light for that time of day and they arrived at the airport an hour before their flight. After check-in, getting through security, and finding their gate, they all sat next to the massive windows overlooking the runways in front of their gate. The plane they were going to be on was staring right at them, a giant beast of the sky.

Wanting to comfort Alex, but not sure if it was okay in front of Elliot, Olivia scooted a little closer to the blonde hoping that somehow the nearness of their bodies would bring some sort of comfort.

Realizing what Olivia was doing, Alex looked up at the detective with a tired smile. Olivia saw through the smile, but didn't say anything about it. Alex looked exhausted and she was starting to look a little apprehensive.

It wasn't a second later, that Alex's eyes moved back to looking outside at the planes landing and taking off and Olivia was back to guessing what was wrong with her.

Once they boarded and were in the air, the stewardess came by with their complimentary three ounces of liquid refreshment and the three travelers were mostly quiet. Within the first few minutes Alex closed her eyes, pretending to sleep just so she could put her head on Olivia's shoulder. There was something about her detective that made her comfortable. Being able to touch Olivia was the only thing keeping her from a nervous breakdown.

For her part, Olivia managed to recline both of their seat without 'waking' Alex, who she thought was asleep. She subtly adjusted herself to where Alex looked like she was the most comfortable and looked over at Elliot who was asleep in a seated position. So asleep that Olivia would have put money that he would start snoring in a few minutes.

Turning back to her one time date, Olivia dropped a sweet kiss on the ADA's forehead before pulling Sky Mall out of the pouch in front of her and started pouring over hundreds of items she wouldn't need in a million years. Although at the moment, the table top margarita machine looked appealing.

"Liv," Alex finally spoke slowly opening her eyes.

"Yeah?" Olivia asked.

"Your seatbelt is stabbing my side," she slightly smiled.

The detective chuckled, "Well you can move."

"I think I'm done sleeping," The blonde sat up and stretched, "Besides your partner makes it hard."

Olivia finally noticed that Elliot was snoring away on the other side of Alex. She smiled, "Yeah, he does that."

Alex looked at what Olivia was reading, "Cameron bought me those the last time she was on a plane." She pointed to one of the pictures.

"Shoes with headlights?" Olivia raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. She thinks she's funny," Alex smirked.

"Well sometimes she is," Olivia mentioned.

Alex ran a hand through her hair, "Please don't tell her that. I'll never hear the end of it."

"I won't," Olivia promised. She smoothed out a part of blonde hair that Alex missed and then brought her in for a soft kiss.

When she pulled away the same sad, despondent look was back on Alex's face.

"What's wrong?" Olivia finally asked.

Alex bit her lip, debating on whether or not to tell Olivia. Deciding that it could do more good than harm, Alex took a deep breath. "The last time I checked the New York criminal database, my father was still in Buffalo."

It took a few seconds for what Alex said to register to Olivia, but when it did she took Alex's hand, "I should have known. You told me where he was…I'm sorry. There's no reason you should have come."

"I'll be okay," Alex added even though she didn't believe it herself, "Buffalo is a big city and the chances of me running into him while I'm running around with you two is slim to none right?"


	19. Chapter 19

Sorry about the delay in updating. This weekend has been crazy. I've enjoying college Asher Roth style and then working until I can barely stand up, but I've been thinking a lot about how the plot will develope so it should start coming in rapid succession soon. Thanks for your patience. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

The second they stepped off of the plane, Alex was caught between keeping her head down so she wouldn't seen anyone and constantly looking around. Whichever she did, her heart pounded in her chest and she felt sick all over again.

Olivia noticed and placed her hand on the small of Alex's back guiding her through the crowd. As much as she wanted to comfort Alex, the blonde wasn't making it easy. She'd been quiet and nearly unresponsive the rest of the flight and when they hit the ground, she hadn't seat a word.

"Detective Benson?" a man in a suit walked up to them out of seemingly nowhere, "Detective Stabler and," he glanced down at the paper in his hand, "ADA Cabot?"

"Yes," Elliot nodded to him.

"I'm Detective Randy Winfield," he introduced himself, "My car is outside." Without saying anything else, the rather sizable Buffalo detective lead them out of the airport.

"We have a file that 16th Precinct sent over," he told them over the chilling night wind as they got to a Buffalo PD Explorer, "It has this relatives in the area. The harbor patrol is on the lookout for suspicious boats and for Quinn himself. His picture has been given to boarder patrol and highway patrol."

Olivia opened the front passenger's door for Alex, which smiled slightly as they got in. She really didn't want to get in the front seat. Mostly because it was the most visible place to sit in the car and had the least obstructed view, but she knew Olivia and Elliot had the kind of partnership where they could look at each other and exchange thoughts so sitting next to each other was imperative to this sensitive case.

"Let's pay a visit to his cousin's house first," Olivia suggested, "That's where his landlord said he ran off to."

_The universe hates me_ was Alex's only thought as they started toward the part of town she used to live in. It wasn't long before they were in the Upper West Side of Buffalo, driving along the suburban streets. The ADA looked at the address in the file and mentioned, "It's faster if you turn right here."

The detective nodded and followed Alex's directions, "You from here?"

"Not anymore," was Alex's only reply.

Elliot looked questioningly over at his partner who nodded. Then he turned his attention back to the file in his lap, satisfied in the answer he received.

As the houses flashed by some pleasant memories flooded Alex's mind. She saw a street one of her childhood friends used to live on. She was starting to remember the houses although some of the colors had changed. This was what she was afraid of, although she was sure it was going to happen. Her old neighborhood was typical suburbia so when she read that Quinn's cousin had a wife and three kids she figured that she would have to go back. She didn't think that they would be anywhere close to her old school or house, but when they pulled to a stop a few streets from her old house, Alex started to internally panic.

Olivia closed the door and saw Alex stationary in front of her. Her shoulders were moving up and down a few deep breaths. She glanced to her side and saw Elliot and Winfield waiting on the other side of the car through the windows of the vehicle. She reached forward and gently took Alex's hand. The blonde gasped slightly and sighed when she turned to see Olivia.

"Are you okay?" Olivia asked quietly.

Alex set her jaw and nodded strongly, although her eyes were still darting around. She took a deep breath and nodded again, this time to an internal question, "Let's go do our jobs so we can get out of here."

"Okay," Olivia gently squeezed Alex's hand before releasing it.

They walked up the rickety steps to the front door that was protected with a screen door that looked brand new.

"He's renovating," Elliot commented, gesturing to a stack of wood at the end of the porch next to a bucket of screws and a drill.

Winfield knocked on the frame of the screen down, while Alex looked down the street. When she saw it, she couldn't take her eyes off of it. The middle school of her childhood was two blocks away. A sterile, cubed, red brick building where she'd escape the terror of her home. Somehow it looked different in the night. It might have been that she didn't remember ever seeing it the night.

Winfield peered into the window and shook his head, "I don't think they're home."

Olivia stepped off of the porch and walked to the garage, looking into the windows, "There's two cars in there."

Elliot automatically reached for his gun that he left in New York because of airport security. Winfield saw and understood. He trotted to his car and came back with two handguns in the holsters, handing one to each New York City detective.

Elliot walked to a different window that's curtains weren't completely pulled. Although it was dark inside, he saw more than he need to know they need to get inside.

Winfield watched as the three New York City officials went into action without saying a word. Alex walked over to the window Elliot was at and peered in. After a slight nod Alex stepped off of the porch and to the side watching Olivia and Elliot stand on each side of the front door. Olivia held open the screen door while Elliot kicked it in. A panicked looking Winfield drew his gun and followed them.

Alex closed her eyes, tightening her jacket around herself. She bowed her head listening for any gunshots and the obligatory radio call to get a Crime Scene Unit in. The body Alex saw laying on the darkened floor when Elliot gestured her over was probable cause to break into the house. Another murder in another city meant state police would be joining and possibly the FBI. NYPD SVU reputation meant that they were most likely going to get to stay lead on the case, but as Jack said everything was now under a microscope.

Elliot was the first one out of the house as Alex expected he would be. She could hear Winfield calling for a CSU inside the house.

"Anything?" Alex asked.

Elliot took a deep breath and shook his head.

"A kid?" the blonde asked, almost sure she already knew the answer.

The look on Elliot's face made her realize she was right. The body on the floor was in face a kid. If the dead child in the floor of the living room lived in that house, it meant that Quinn was now killing his own family, meaning that he had no regard for anyone anymore. Alex knew that she needed to get over her own past so they could solve this case and keep anymore children from getting hurt.

Alex and Elliot stood outside in silence as Olivia and Winfield went looked over the crime scene. Winfield stepped outside to tell Elliot that there was crime scene tape in the back of the SUV. The detective nodded and Alex helped him tie the tape to two trees in the front yard and up to the outside of the porch.

It wasn't long until crime scene techs had swarmed the house. Alex had been sure to stay outside. With an already upset stomach she knew going inside and seeing the body would probably make her empty her stomach. As she paced the perimeter of the crime scene she almost didn't notice a news van pull up. It wasn't long before the uniforms on the perimeter were looking to her. She just shook her head, silently instructing them to say nothing.

She continued to pace, going over the file in her head and then getting Quinn's file out of the car going over it. She couldn't draw any conclusions to what was going on and examining every passerby was both helping and hurting. As each person was neither Quinn nor her father, it wasn't bringing them any closer to solving the case.

An hour into the investigation, Elliot and Olivia walked out of the house and over to Alex. She looked expectantly at them. They both looked tired and hopeless.

"Winfield is going to take us to our hotel," Elliot explained, "They need to run things at the lab and there's nothing we can do tonight that a few uniforms can't."

Alex nodded understanding, "Okay." She momentarily looked at Olivia who looked worried. Alex decided she must look worse than she felt so she just sighed and climbed into the car.

It wasn't thirty minutes later that they were standing in an elevator on their way up to their rooms. Apparently Jack decided that Alex needed a single room while Cragen decided that Elliot and Olivia could stay together in a double room. As the elevator doors opened at Elliot and Olivia's floor, Alex stayed on, her room two floors above theirs.

"Are you going to be okay?" Olivia stopped the elevator doors from closing.

Alex slightly smiled, relieved she was indoors where would have no risk of running into anyone from her past, "I've slept by myself for a long time detective."

Olivia smirked, "Okay. Are you going to head down to the bar?"

"I don't think that's a good idea. I saw a couple reports walk in as we got on the elevator. It wouldn't look good if the investigators in a state case were drinking in the middle of it all," Alex explained.

Olivia nodded, "Good point." She paused, "Well call me if you need anything."

Alex replied with a nod and watched Olivia step away, letting the elevator doors close.


	20. Chapter 20

Just like expected, Alex couldn't sleep. She poured over the files looking for something that would indicate where Quinn was hiding and she kept coming up with nothing.

Deciding that she could chance a venture out of her hotel room, Alex got dressed in a black shirt and jeans before pulling on her knee length tan coat. Truth be told there were a few things she missed about Buffalo, like her favorite childhood restaurant and the neighborhood ice cream shop she used to take Cameron sometimes after school.

Since her thoughts had drifted to her sister, Alex took out her phone as she got on the elevator.

"Hey sis," Cameron sleepily answered.

"Did I wake you?" Alex asked, "I'm sorry Cam."

"Don't worry about it," Cameron yawned, "How was your flight?"

"It was okay," Alex stepped off of the elevator and spotted a camera man waiting by the door of the women's restroom and another reporter at the bar. She scurried out before anyone in the media could see her.

As she walked, she started to remember the city. There was a pause on the phone as Cameron sat up in her bed.

"I saw my old middle school today," Alex told Cameron breathlessly.

"You did?" Cameron asked, "Did you go to the house?"

"No," Alex shook her head to get the hair out of her face that the wind whipped in every direction, "The crime scene was a few streets away though."

Cameron didn't know what to say. She knew Alex had refused to go to Buffalo at all before. Being close to their childhood home must be the worst thing her sister had ever experienced after what happened in that home. She wanted to hug her sister because words were failing her. All she could offer was an earnest, "I love you Lex."

"I love you too," Alex looked around at the street she was on a noticed a coffee shop. Deciding that she was too cold to keep walking, Alex walked in. The refreshing smell of coffee and sweet baked goods that were in a glass display case.

"Is there anything I can do?" Cameron asked, "I can come up there."

"No," Alex stood a few feet from the front counter where a girl in a black apron was waiting, "I'm working and there's no reason for you to go through hell again too."

"But I don't really remember the first time," Cameron sighed, "If I can help I want to be there."

"There's not really a way you can help," Alex replied, "I'm sorry." She stepped up to the counter, "I'll take a latte."

The girl told her how much it was going to be and when Alex handed over the money the girl got her change.

"Lex, are you drinking coffee?" Cameron asked, "At almost two am?"

"Yes," Alex replied, "I can't sleep. I might as well drink something good while I'm awake."

"Good is subjective," the younger blonde fell back in the bed.

"You sound tired," Alex stated, "Why don't you go to sleep? I'm just going to sit here and read the news paper until Liv and Elliot wake up."

Reluctant to leave her sister alone, but knowing she couldn't help much Cameron conceded, "Okay. Be safe and stay out of familiar neighborhoods."

"I plan on it," the ADA added taking her latte off of the counter and sat down in the darkest corner of the coffee shop.

"Get some sleep," Cameron told her big sister, "Love you."

"Love you too," Alex replied and hung up the phone.

Before long Alex was halfway through her coffee and the paper. She was finally exhausted and decided that the long trek back to the hotel was worth being able to lay down for a few more hours.

But before she was out the door of the coffee shop, her phone rang again. Glancing at the screen only long enough to rule out the number as her sister's Alex answered, "Cabot."

"Hey," Olivia's gentle voice came wafting over the line, "Are you still up?"

"Yeah," Alex answered walking out into the cold windy night.

"Where are you?" Olivia asked, "It sounds like you're outside."

"I am," the ADA answered, "I walked down the street to get coffee."

There was a pause, "Do you wanna meet somewhere? For a drink or coffee or something?"

Grateful that Olivia was intuitive enough to sense that she was upset, "Do you want to meet in my room? I need to lay down."

"Are you okay?" was the detective's immediate answer.

"Yeah," Alex replied, walking back into the hotel. She put her empty coffee cup into the trash and retrieved her room key from her pocket. When she got to the elevator she knew she wasn't telling the truth, "No."

"I'll be right up."

"I'm on my way up," Alex replied, "I'll see you."

She was answered with a dead line. She was relieved that she had gotten to her room before Olivia. She wanted to change before the brunette got there. Just as soon as she pulled her on her black yoga pants and white cami, a knock on the door sounded.

"Hey," Olivia smiled softly.

Alex smiled weakly back. She was surprised when Olivia enfolded her in her strong lean arms. The blonde let the door fall closed and melted into the detective. Wrapping her arms around Olivia's neck and sighing started to make the tension run out of her shoulders.

"Do you wanna lay down?" Olivia barely whispered.

Alex didn't remember nodding, but Olivia disengaged and pulled her toward her bed. Alex fell back on the bed with her eyes closed and felt Olivia sit next to her. Feeling Olivia run a few fingers through her hair and down her back, she opened her eyes. "Why couldn't you sleep?"

Olivia shrugged, "I don't sleep."

"Sleep with me," Alex offered, not realizing what had just come out of her mouth.

However innocent Alex had mean the phrase, Olivia grinned, "We haven't even had our second date."

The blonde rolled her eyes, "You know what I meant."

"Yeah," Olivia leaned down and kissed Alex sweetly. When she tried to pull away, Alex pulled her back down and deepened the kiss, trying to draw some of the detective's strength to reserve for the next morning when she had to face the city, the press, and the criminal.

Olivia laid down next to Alex and rested a hand under her own head and resting the other on Alex's hip. The blonde hated feeling this vulnerable, but she couldn't think of anyone else she'd rather be vulnerable around.

As she finally let every emotion she'd been putting off during the day settle in, she buried her face in Olivia and choked back tears.

Olivia knew that this case and this city was ripping Alex apart and she didn't know what she could or should do. She just held Alex tighter and wished there was something she could do.


	21. Chapter 21

Alex felt Olivia's arms gradually relax around her and realized that the detective had fallen asleep. She slowly squirmed her way out of Olivia's arms and slipped her shoes back on. There was no way she could sleep and when she couldn't sleep she couldn't sit still. The blonde closed her eyes and sighed as she rested her hand on the doorknob. After glancing back at Olivia, Alex walked out the door and called a cab when she got to the first floor.

As exhausted she was, Alex thought as she was huddled close to the door of the hotel waiting for the cab, there was no way she could sleep so she decided to work. All the paperwork was done so she decided to indulge and torture herself at the same time.

The cab driver paused a minute after she told him what she wanted to do. Then he took off in the direction of her old neighborhood.

"You look familiar," the cabbie's voice was as smooth as two pieces of sandpaper rubbing against each other. From the back Alex could see he was balding with gray hair neatly trimmed just above his neck.

"Hmm," Alex replied leaning back against the worn out leather. She placed her elbow on the door against the window and ran a hand through her hair. She didn't know what she was thinking going back to the place of her childhood agony. Alex let out a bitter smile when she almost heard Huang's voice in her head quietly saying the word _"_Closure."

But closure wasn't what she thought this was about. It was mostly curiosity. She wanted to know what happened to her childhood house. Who was living in it. Who was living where her best friend in second grade's house. When they were little, her friend Brett swore up and down he was going to live in his house forever. Although she doubted it, she wanted to see.

"I'm sure I've seen you before," the man persisted, "Do you know Pete Richardson?"

Alex shook her head, "No."

"What about Kyle Grayson?" he kept asking, "You look like one of my buddy's kids."

Humoring the man who kept looking at her in the rearview mirror, Alex shrugged, "Doesn't ring a bell."

The cab driver snapped, "You're Kevin Pierce's daughter. I used to come to your house to watch football with your old man. His office was right next to mine. Before the plant went under."

At the name Alex's stomach sank. She didn't say a word while she tried to quell her speeding heart. She knew coming back was a terrible idea. Kevin Pierce. That was him. The bastard that ran her, her mother and sister out of town.

She knew it was only a matter of time before she ran into someone who knew her father. He was a well liked man by people who didn't live with him. It seemed when she was little Alex couldn't go anywhere with her father without seeing someone he knew.

Alex managed to keep her cool and shake her head, "I'm not from around here."

"Well you look like this smart little girl I used to know," he continued pulling to a stop in front of the middle school down the street from the crime scene and her old house.

Alex quickly got out and paid the driver, "Thanks for the ride."

"Are you sure you'll be okay out here?" the driver asked accepting the money.

The blonde nodded, "Yeah. I'll be fine."

She watched the cab drive away before looking over at the middle school in front of her. It seemed smaller now that she was older. The building looked exactly the same as it did twenty years ago. She took a deep breath as the sun started peeking over the horizon.

She turned around and saw the crime scene lit up with flood lights a few houses down the street. Her legs started moving and she wasn't sure how long it took, but before she knew it she was standing in front of Brett's house or what used to be Brett's house. It had been painted a few shades darker than Alex remembered and new children's toys littered the front yard, but it was still the cute little house she'd go play at from second grade until she, her mother, and Cameron moved to New York City.

A wave of nostalgia washed over her. The house had always been comforting and Brett's parents had been like her aunt and uncle. They were the nicest people Alex could remember. She sighed, wondering what happened to them.

She started to walk toward her old house as she sun crept higher in the sky. Olivia would be waking up any minute and she was expecting the call. She slightly smiled as she imagine Olivia chastising her for walking around at the crack of dawn while a serial killer was on the prowl. That fact Alex completely forgot about until standing at her old school and seeing the police flood lights.

"Alex?" a voice stopped her cold. No one around here should know her name. Unless there was a detective or police officer taking a walk around the neighborhood, taking a break from the horrifying crime scene.

She slowly turned around and saw a man in a white shirt and blue striped boxers. The bathrobe he wore was open and hanging limply off of his muscular frame. Alex was so relieved it wasn't her father that she didn't realize who was talking to her.

"Alex?" he smiled, his unshaven face friendly and sharp.

It took her a moment, it struck the ADA like a ton of bricks. "Brett?"

"What are you doing here?" he walked over to her and gave her a bear hug.

"I'm working," Alex replied, "I just thought I'd come back to see the old neighborhood." She smirked, "You weren't kidding when you said you were going to live here forever huh?"

"Apparently not," he chuckled, "What do you do that gets you up so early?"

"I actually haven't gone to sleep yet," Alex replied, "I'm an Assistant District Attorney in Manhattan."

"No shit?" he asked with a smile, "I'm a Lieutenant with Buffalo PD."

"I believe it," Alex grinned, "You always made me the bad guy when we were little."

"I thought I saw you on the news last night," Brett picked up the paper that he had come outside for, "My wife told me I was crazy. You were at the Quinn crime scene, right?"

The blonde nodded, "Yeah. Me and two of my detectives."

Brett tied his bath robe at the waist and put his hands on his hips, "Do you want some coffee? All the DAs I know live off of coffee?"

"Glad to know it's universal," Alex smiled. She looked at the face of her phone and nodded, "That'd be great, but can we sit on the porch?"

"Of course," he nodded knowingly. "I'll be right back out."

A few minutes later, Alex and Brett were sitting side by side, catching up on what had happened in twenty years.

"You're the second person to recognize me today," Alex looked at the brightening sky.

"It's your eyes," Brett sipped his coffee, "They're unforgettable."

The blonde slightly blushed, "Thanks." She glanced down the street and didn't see anyone coming in or out of her old house. "Do you know who lives in my old house?"

He nodded, "A really nice couple with a six years old they adopted a few years ago."

"Good," Alex nodded. A little disappointed. She didn't know why, but knowing her where her father was would be a good first step in avoiding him like the plague.

"I remember that night," Brett paused, "When they took you to the hospital. I saw them put you in the ambulance and I wanted to ride my bike after you, but my mom wouldn't let me. The last time I saw you was when I visited you in the hospital."

Alex swallowed hard, "I remember. You were the only reason I was sad to leave. Your parents were the only ones that hadn't told their children to stay away from me."

He looped his arm around Alex's shoulders, "You were a great kid just as you're a great adult. It was their loss."

A smile crossed Alex's face, apparently Brett still had the ability to make her feel better and she told him so.

"It's just payback for helping me pass fifth grade math," he chuckled.

The Manhattan ADA looked down the street and saw a few people shuffling out of their houses to start their day. She looked at her empty coffee mug and stood, "I should go. My detectives are going to start wondering where I went and I'm sure you need to get to work."

He stood with her, "You should call me sometime or email."

Alex agreed and put his phone number in her phone before hugging him and walking off. She walked toward the crime scene, hoping that a detective she had met was still there and was feeling generous enough to take her back to the hotel. She had gotten what she came back for.

She came back for the memories and talking with Brett brought all the good ones back quicker and en masse.

"Cabot," Winfield called the second he saw her. He was halfway into his car, "I'm glad you're here. Quinn had holed himself up in a house with a family of five. He has a gun."

And just like that Alex's good mood evaporated.


	22. Chapter 22

Alex held onto the handle on the roof of the car as Winfield swerved around a turn on the way to the hostage situation. "Jesus," she muttered after they hit a particularly large speed bump. She's been in many police cars that were speeding to a crime scene, but none of them made her as nauseous as this one.

When they stopped, Alex could have kissed the ground as she stepped out, regaining her balance. There were police cars everywhere with men and women in blue standing next to each one. At one of the front cars, a man in a suit with a bull horn talked to older looking officers.

"Where are Benson and Stabler?" Alex asked as she and Winfield walked to the car closest to the tiny run down house.

"They're on their way," Winfield informed them.

When they got to the man in the suit, he looked at Alex, "Are you the hostage negotiator?"

"No," Alex shook her head, "There's not already one here?"

The man in the uniform shook his head, "There's one coming in from out of town. We don't have many hostage situations here. At least not unless there was a Bills game."

The blonde took a deep breath. If the hostage negotiator didn't get there soon, Elliot or Olivia was their best bet. When she came out of her head, she saw that the man in the suit, Winfield and a few other officers were looking at her, or rather to her.

She scanned the perimeter and saw a few neighbors and bystanders standing at the edge of the police cars. She pointed to them, "Get them back across the street."

A few officers took off toward the small crowd and got them across the street. They set up barriers making a wide perimeter and stood guard at them.

Again they were looking to Alex for more directions. She went through every hostage situation she'd ever stood outside in her head and asked, "The house is surrounded?"

The man in the suit nodded, "The SWAT team is already in the back and on the sides."

"Don't they have a negotiator?" the ADA asked.

He shook his head.

Alex sighed at the lackluster police force in Buffalo. If they were in Manhattan, there would have been a group of negotiators and a handful of higher ups in the NYPD calling the shots.

"When are Benson and Stabler going to be here?" Alex demanded. She didn't want to do this by herself. Hostage negotiating was not part of her law school curriculum.

Someone got on the radio asking for an ETA on the NYPD detectives. A crackling answer was five minutes.

There was a shot and a few blood curdling screams from inside. Alex's eyes darted to the window where she saw a few shadowy figures.

"I have a visual," another crackling voice came.

"What do we do?" the man in the suit looked at Alex and asked.

The blonde stated to panic. This was not her job. This was not her jurisdiction. This was not her city. She shouldn't even be here. Now they were asking her how to handle a hostage situation.

Alex heard another voice say, "I have another visual."

"What do we do?"

It seemed like a million voices were talking and asking questions at once and Alex's head started pounding. There were a million factors to consider. The hostages for one. If they were hurt. If they were scared. If they were going to be hurt. If they would be traumatized seeing a man's brains used to paint the wall. If they were even still alive.

One last questions resonated through her mind, "What do we do?"

"Take the shot," Alex stated forcefully.

It wasn't a millisecond later that the man in the suit put the radio to his lips and relayed the direction. A second later, there were two simultaneous shots and the SWAT team emerged from the shadows and burst in to the house.

Alex was shaking. That pressure was crushing on her and she prayed that she made the right decision. If someone innocent had been hurt because of what she said, she knew she couldn't live with herself.

The ADA stood still in a whirlwind of chaos around her. She saw a stretcher being pushed into the front door and a formidable man behind wheeled out, bleeding profusely from the chest. He was shoved into the ambulance that took off the second the back door was closed.

Then she saw something that made her blood stand still. A woman walked out the front door with a child in her arms and another by the hand. The little boy who was walking next to his mother looked shell-shocked and the girl in her mothers arms was silently crying. Another man walked out with a baby in his arms. The father was white as a ghost and breathing heavily. Alex's heart shattered as the family walked past her to the second ambulance. The paramedics began to carefully examined all the victims while one of the SWAT officers stood at the door and gave the thumbs up.

She didn't remember how it happened, but Alex found herself sitting in the driver's seat of one of the police cruisers with her feet scraping across the pavement of the road. The night air seemed the grow colder the seconds slowly ticked by.

"Alex," a voice called Alex out of her haze.

She looked up to see Brett, decked out in his Lieutenant uniform. He was holding a blue blanket in his arms. "You're shivering."

Alex looked down at her trembling body and didn't know if it was from the cold or the situation, but she accepted the blanket, "Thanks."

He knelt down next to her. "You did good. No one else knew what to do and you gave the order. You always knew how to take charge." He placed a gentle hand on her knee, "All those kids in there are okay because of you. As soon as Quinn gets out of surgery he's going to the pen." With a kind pat on her leg Brett caught Alex's eyes, "You did good."

"It's just a lot to process at once," Alex let out.

"I understand," Brett stood up straight, "How about I take your statement and then I'll drive you back to the hotel."

This brought Alex back to where Elliot and Olivia were. She scanned the crowd and caught sight of them jotting down notes on their notepads as they listened to SWAT team members give their accounts of the story.

She looked back at Brett and nodded, "I think that's a good idea."

"Let me go get my clipboard out of my car and I'll be right back," Brett told her and walked off.

Alex pulled the blanket down in the car and stood. Her jacket would have to do for a while. There were media trucks everywhere and the image of a stunned ADA in a blanket was not the one she wanted transmitted to every TV in the area. She put on the best façade and paced the small area next to the car watching the black pavement move under her feet. She ignored the questions being asked by the bystanders standing about twenty yards away.

One of the voices seemed to cut through all the others. She heard a man's voice tell another one of the bystanders, "He got what he was coming to him."

Alex's head shot up quickly and she saw who had uttered the comment. The man was standing in black slacks and a white button up shirt that was open a bit to show a muscle shirt. He was tall and lean with a square jaw and sharp features.

The whirling seemed to start again as the man noticed her looking at him. Her eyes locked with the man's, his cold gray eyes looked back wide-eyed.

The pure hatred she had for the man came rushing back to her. Alex clenched her jaw to keep tears at bay. She couldn't tell what emotion was producing the tears, but whatever it was she wanted it to stop. She wanted to run back to the airport and back to New York where she was far away from here. And far away from that man.

"Alex?" Brett asked for the third time. He finally followed her eyes out into the crowd. He immediately recognized the man. He tossed the clipboard in the car and briskly walked over to the crowd.

Olivia had been occasionally glancing at Alex to make sure she was okay, but the last glance told her that something was really wrong. Alex hadn't moved in at least two minutes. She looked back at her notes knowing that the faster they got done, the faster they could go home.

She saw Elliot started to trot over to where Alex was and Olivia was immediately concerned. She looked to where Elliot was going and saw a uniformed officer and a man in a white shirt yelling at each other in the street.

Olivia jogged to where Alex was because the blonde still hadn't moved. "Alex?" Olivia asked when she got near the ADA, but Alex was unresponsive. She saw the beginnings of tears that she knew Alex was trying to hold back. She too followed Alex's eyes to the man in the white shirt. Olivia stood startled for a moment before looking at Alex and back to the man. The resemblance was uncanny. Olivia knew after a second of studying that that man was in fact Alex's father.

Elliot seemed to corral the officer in the uniform. The man in the uniform walked over to Alex and put his arm around her, ushering her to the other side of ambulance, completely blocking off the view of the crowd that had gathered behind the police barriers.

"Alex," he knelt next to her. Olivia looked between the two and wanted to know the extent of their relationship. The man seemed to know about a lot about Alex's history.

Her eyes moved to the man in front of her, but it was like she wasn't really seeing him.

Elliot looked to Olivia for explanation, but she just looked back at Alex. She had seen this reaction countless times on victims. She knew Alex was shutting down.

"Alex," the man in the uniform asked. When he didn't get a response, he looked at Olivia who seemed most concerned and less confused than Elliot, "I'm gonna take her back to the hotel."

Olivia wanted to be the one to take Alex back, but she knew her job wasn't done here. She just nodded and watched the uniformed man guide Alex to the car closest to them, careful to shield her from public view.

Alex had no idea what was going on. It felt like she was somehow trapped in her brain. She couldn't feel her body which was barely responsive to begin with. She saw Brett, Olivia, and Elliot, but couldn't manage to say anything.

The sight of her father let all the emotions that she had put up and ignored fall onto her and suddenly she was feeling everything at once. Every punch, every kick, every blow she, her sister, and her mother had ever suffered had started to assault her body until her body went from numbness to hot pain shooting through her whole body.

The next part of reality she remembered was Brett sitting her on the bed of her hotel room. She didn't like losing huge chunks of time like that. She wanted to know what was going on, but someone was pulling her so far inside her head that she felt trapped.


	23. Chapter 23

Brett had to leave fifteen minutes after he had gotten Alex into her hotel room. He didn't want to leave her, but he needed to go do his job.

It took a while, but Alex's blank stares had turned into a stream of tears. Then the stream of tears turned into sobs that wracked her body. She knew that not dealing with her turbulent childhood would come back to haunt her, but she didn't know how until that moment.

When she regained her bearings, Alex got on the phone and had the concierge book her flight back to New York. She didn't need to be in Buffalo anymore. The case was over. After haphazardly tossing her clothes back into her bag. Alex walked out of the room and down the stairs to the waiting cab.

Alex hated that she felt like she didn't know what she was doing. She was just running on autopilot. The few hours on the airplane seemed like five minutes. It was pouring when the plane landed in La Guardia. So much so that she was afraid they wouldn't be able to stop on the runway.

Bu the plane landed safely and she promptly exited the plane. When she got to the front of the airport, she realized that she didn't have a ride back to her apartment so she hailed a cab.

It was almost ten when Olivia and Elliot went to the hotel to collect their things to go back to New York. After she finished packing Olivia told Elliot she was going to get Alex.

As the detective neared the door to Alex's room, she saw the door was open. Carefully making her way toward the door, Olivia stuck her head inside and saw that sheets on the floor at the foot of the bed and Alex's bag nowhere in sight. Someone walking out of the bathroom startled Olivia momentarily.

The detective let out a sigh when the maid glanced at her with a quirked eyebrow.

"Wrong room," Olivia faked a smile and walked back to the elevator wondering if Alex had already gone back to New York without saying anything.

After she called Alex's cell phone and got her voicemail, Olivia tracked down Brett to see if he knew what happened to Alex.

"I left her a couple hours ago at the hotel," he explained. There was a somber pause, "Seeing her dad really shook her up."

Olivia couldn't help, but ask. "Why was he there?"

"He lived down the street," Brett answered, "With his wife."

"Wife?" Olivia asked in disbelief, "Someone married him?"

"When I knew him, he was charming and I didn't know anything was wrong until Alex told me," Brett answered, "Is she not at the hotel?"

"No," Olivia picking her bag up off of the ground as Elliot walked back in, "I guess she went back already. The maid was already cleaning her room."

"I figured," the lieutenant on the other end of the line told her, "When Alex goes through tough time, she likes to do it alone. She's independent, but to a fault. She hasn't changed since we were kids. Talking to her this morning was just like talking to the younger version except with a bigger vocabulary."

Elliot followed Olivia out of the room and down the hallway to the elevator. "Thanks for you help Brett."

"No problem," he answered, "But can you do me a favor and call me to let me know how Alex is doing?"

"Of course," Olivia answered. As she hung up the elevator doors opened and she and Elliot stepped in. She sighed and pocketed her phone.

"What's going on?" Elliot asked finally.

Olivia swallowed hard and got everything straight in her head before she started speaking, "I probably shouldn't even tell you because this is Alex's story to tell, but if I don't her behavior, my behavior, and Brett's behavior seem really odd."

"Brett is?" Elliot asked as the doors opened again.

"The Buffalo lieutenant that was yelling at the man in the crowd," Olivia stated, leading the way to the front of the building where a taxi was waiting, "That man was Alex's father." She paused to decide where to continue the long sorted story.

Elliot was deep in thought as he opened the backseat door for Olivia. After telling the driver they were going to the airport he said, "Alex was abused."

"How did you know?" Olivia asked.

"Well Brett yelled 'Does it make you feel like a man to hit little girls?' to Alex's father," Elliot stated, "Alex reacted the way some abuse victims do. Is Brett Alex's friend?"

"He was her best friend when she was a kid," Olivia added.

"Ah," Elliot nodded.

They were mostly quiet until the plane had left the ground. Elliot had slightly reclined his seat and had his eyes closed while Olivia looked out the window. "I don't know what to do."

"Hmm?" Elliot looked over at Olivia.

"How do I help Alex?" Olivia asked Elliot, seemingly defeated.

"How do you help child abuse vics?" he asked.

Olivia sighed, "She's not just a child abuse victim…. She's Alex."

Elliot nodded, "All you can do is be there for her. You can't fix it. You can't change it. Let her know that you care."

Olivia just nodded and looked back out the window.

Alex was in such a haze that she didn't hear the knock on her front door the first time. She slowly rose from her bed and trudged to the door. Her feet felt like she was wearing cement shoes and her head felt as heavy as her feet.

Olivia paced outside the door before she heard the locks click back. When Alex appeared in the doorway she sighed, relieved that Alex was there, "I'm glad you're okay."

Alex leaned on the doorframe, looking tired and completely drained. She just looked at Olivia with half-open, bloodshot eyes.

"Are you okay?" Olivia asked, reaching out and touching Alex's arm. When Alex didn't react she pulled the blonde into her arms. Alex slowly wrapped her arms around Olivia's shoulders and buried her face in Olivia's neck.

Olivia couldn't stand to see Alex like this. She knew that the ADA was in pain, but she didn't know how to stop it or quell it in any way. All she could do was whisper, "It's okay," and hold her tight.

When Alex unexpectedly drew away a little, Olivia looked into her sad blue eyes and felt her stomach tie itself into knots. Alex leaned forward and kissed Olivia. The kiss was slow and heartbreaking causing Olivia to just close her eyes and absorb it all. She felt the kiss radiate through her body and set her heart to speeding. There was something different about the way Alex was kissing her that caught Olivia off guard, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

It finally came to an end and Alex held onto Olivia again. Alex closed her eyes and sighed, "I can't do this."

"Yes you can," Olivia assured her and pulled back to look at Alex, "You're strong Alex.."

Alex interrupted her, "That's not what I meant." The blonde bit her lip, "I can't…It wouldn't be fair to you. I can't…" She took a deep breath, "You're such an amazing person Liv and I…just can't right now."

Knowing what was happening, Olivia took a deep breath. Saying she was hurt would be a gross understatement, but knowing Alex's situation she partially understood. Always one to know when to gracefully bow out, Olivia nodded, "Okay. But know that you'll always have me whenever you need me."

Alex nodded, trying to keep from feeling anything.

Olivia pulled Alex into her arms once more and kissed Alex's cheek as she pulled away. "Do you need anything before I go?"

Alex shook her head, "Thanks Liv."

Olivia put on a brave smile, "No problem. Call me if you think of anything."

"Okay," the younger woman crossed her arms and looked at the ground. She glanced up at Olivia before retreating into her apartment.

The detective blinked back tears as she rode the elevator down to the ground floor. When the doors opened, a cold burst of air hit her and she pulled her coat tighter around herself. She could hear the rain beating on the building before she even got out the door. Pausing for a moment under the awning to make a phone call, Olivia pulled the collar of her jacket up.

"Hello?" the youngest Cabot answered,

"Hey Cameron," Olivia looked around as the doorman hailed a cab for her, "Can you meet me for coffee? We need to talk."

Noticing the grave tone of Olivia's voice Cameron was immediately concerned, "Is Alex okay?"

She couldn't stop the sigh from escaping. "I don't think so."

"Why don't you just come to my apartment?" the blonde asked, "It's only a few blocks from Alex's place."

"Okay," Olivia answered as she trotted to the waiting cab. She closed the door as Cameron rattled off her address which the detective relayed to the cabbie.

"Something's really wrong isn't it?" Cameron asked quietly.

Olivia watched the buildings fly by for a few seconds before answering, "Yeah. I think something is."


	24. Chapter 24

Olivia wasn't surprised that Cameron's apartment had more and brighter colors in it than Alex's. That's just the kind of person Cameron was.

When she got there, she was greeted by a sweat pant and purple v-neck clad, barefooted Cameron who was already holding a cup of coffee for Olivia.

After they had settled on the couch, Cameron tucked her feet under herself and asked, "What's wrong?"

"When we were in Buffalo, Alex…was under a lot of pressure," Olivia started, slowly building her way to the part that may even shake up the younger sister. "She gave the order to have a man shot. It was the right call, but it's always a hard call to make."

Cameron listened intently and had that same look on her face that Alex always did when she was listening. It was like they were trying to absorb everything in the conversation.

"And right after that," Olivia paused, "She saw your father."

Olivia saw the muscles in Cameron's jaw clench just like Alex's did. She set her coffee mug down. "What did she say?"

"She hasn't said anything about it," Olivia replied, "She essentially broke up with me and she looks like she hasn't slept in the past two days."

Cameron set her feet on the floor and put her face in her hands, "Oh my god. That son of a bitch." She looked over at Olivia, "Why was he there?"

"He was just watching the hostage situation," Olivia explained, "He lived down the street."

The blonde exhaled. She looked back at Olivia, "We have to help her."

"What can I do?" Olivia asked, leaned back on the couch.

"We'll think of something," Cameron answered, "Alex likes to push people away when she's in pain. She's scared she won't be good enough to handle things by herself and she's scared that if she does let someone close enough to help that they'll hurt her. I think for now, all we can do is let her know that we're here when she needs us and we'll wait as long as she needs. I mean….I know I will."

"I will too," Olivia answered, "No question."

"It's going to be an uphill battle," Cameron ran a hand through her hair.

"I know."

The blonde quirked an eyebrow at Olivia, "So you're going to stick it out?"

The brunette nodded.

"Even if she decides she doesn't want to date you ever again?" Cameron asked, carefully watching Olivia's reaction.

A strong nod was all she got from Olivia and it satisfied her. "Okay. Good. I'm going to go to Alex's apartment to see if there's something I can do. You're welcome to stay."

"Thanks, but I should get home," Olivia answered, "I need to shower and change, but call me when you have a chance?"

"I will," Cameron stood up, "It probably won't be long though. She'll probably kick me out a few minutes after I get there."

Olivia stood with Cameron who immediately gave her a hug. "I hope you're gonna stick around. I'd hate to lose my favorite potential sister in law."

The detective smiled for the first time in twenty-four hours, "I'm not going anywhere."

"Awesome," Cameron replied and pulled away. She picked up her keys and left with Olivia.

"Lexi?" Cameron asked when she opened the door to Alex's apartment. It was dark inside and she wasn't even sure if Alex was home.

After a quick search of the house Cameron found her sister wasn't home although her overnight bag was on the bed. Knowing that as some point Alex would have to come home, Cameron took off her jacket and settled on the couch after putting the clothes from the overnight bag in the washing machine.

Just as she was about to fall asleep, Cameron heard the front door open. She looked up in time to see her older sister stumble in and accidentally slam the door behind her.

"Are you drunk?" Cameron asked, rising from the couch.

Alex ran a hand through her hair on the way to the bedroom, "Don't you have your own apartment." After a few missteps, Alex sat on the bed and removed her shoes.

Cameron wasn't sure what to do. Alex had always been the perfect big sister, always giving Cameron someone stable and reliable to look up to. After a minute of thought, Cameron walked over to the bed and gently sat down by her sister, "How was your flight?"

"Fine," Alex automatically answered, standing up to get a t-shirt out of a drawer of her dresser.

"Did you catch the guy?" Cameron asked, feigning ignorance.

Alex paused, "He died."

"Oh wow," Cameron laid back on the bed, "So case closed?"

"Yeah," Alex nodded changing and falling back into bed.

"So you went out for a victory drink?" the youngest blonde asked.

Without hesitation Alex nodded, "Yeah."

"How's Liv?"

"She's fine," Alex rolled onto her stomach and looked away from her sister. She wasn't sure how long she could keep her tears at bay. She wished Cameron would just leave.

Saddened that her sister wouldn't confide in her, Cameron hugged her sister from behind and added, "I love you Lex."

"I love you too," Alex replied.

Cameron was sure that she heard Alex's voice crack, but she wasn't sure so she stood up from the bed. "Call me if you need anything."

"Okay," Alex still wouldn't look at her.

"Do you want to have dinner tomorrow?"

"Okay," the ADA replied.

With a sigh, Cameron walked to the door and paused, "I'll see you tomorrow."

As soon as she heard the front door close Alex let the tears fall. The silent sadness slipped from her blue eyes and fell onto the pillow.


	25. Chapter 25

The following week was hell for Alex. She couldn't ever go to sleep so she ended up drinking until she passed out. The only time she would eat was when Cameron drag her out to eat and work had been hard with Olivia. Not that the detective was giving her a hard time. It was just hard knowing that Olivia knew what was wrong and Alex knew she wanted to help. Keeping her at arm's length was getting harder every time she saw Olivia and she was running out of excuses not to going out with the detective's for drinks after work. Elliot even seemed to notice Alex's change in behavior.

One thing that was a nice break in her normal routine was that Brett emailed her and said he was coming to the city for a much needed hostage negotiation seminar that Friday and would be staying the rest of the weekend. Alex automatically offered up her guest room citing it was only a few blocks to the event venue the seminar was at. Brett replied that he's love to stay with her.

In a valiant effort to keep her sanity, Alex decided to start going about her day as she usually would. This meant walking all the way into the precinct instead of sticking close to the door, personally running warrants to the detectives instead of sending a courier and going out for drinks with the squad after work instead of giving some lame excuse.

On the first day of trying her old routine, Alex walked into the precinct with no objective other than seeing if there were any new cases. Her eyes caught Olivia's the second the door swung open and Alex, despite her best effort, broke the gaze and scanned the room.

Olivia sighed and looked back at the papers on her desk. Alex looked just as pale and thin as she had the past few days. After many lunches and coffees with Cameron they still hadn't formulated a plan to help the ADA. An early one was quashed early by Alex herself by refusing Cameron's suggestion to go talk to Huang.

"Good morning," Elliot smiled at Alex as he walked into the squad room from Cragen's office.

Alex tried a smile, but settled for a nod, "Morning. Anything new?"

Eliot looked to Olivia. She looked up at Alex, "No."

"Oh," Alex paused, not really wanting to leave, "Well okay. I'll be in my office if you need me."

Olivia shot a panicked look to Elliot. He thought quickly and added, "How about we take you to lunch?"

Alex opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. She remembered her plan to go back to her normal routine so she nodded, "Okay."

Olivia raised an eyebrow expecting Alex's favorite response as of late, I have too much work to do. Perhaps, Alex had finally caught up on all that work she had to do. With the hours she has been working lately, Olivia was sure Alex had caught up on all the paperwork for the whole Manhattan DA's office.

Lunch went a little better than expected. Alex answered questions with more than a yes or now, but not by much.

When they parted ways at the café, Alex went back to her office and buried herself in work. Before she knew it, it was six o'clock and a call from her sister prompted her to start getting ready to leave.

"Are you still at work?" Cameron asked.

"I'm leaving right now," Alex answered, putting a few files in her attaché before slinging it over her shoulder.

A smile was evident in Cameron's voice, "You better be. Brett's here."

Alex looked at the calendar on her desk then at her phone, "It's Friday?"

"Since twelve oh one this morning," Cameron answered, "You're lucky I was at your apartment stealing your black boots with the buckles."

"I'll be there in ten minutes," Alex answered, not even able to muster enough sarcasm to say something about her sister's thievery.

For the first time in a while, Alex genuinely smiled when she saw Brett. Every time she saw him, even though he was much older, took her back to the times she spent at his house, playing for hours when she was completely happy.

Brett hugged Alex then looked her up and down, "You definitely look like a lawyer."

"I don't know if that's a compliment," Alex smirked, "I'll go change and then we can go get dinner."

"We?" Cameron asked, injecting herself into the conversation.

"Ask Brett," Alex walked off toward her room.

Brett smiled, "It's just like when we were kids and you'd follow us around asking to play."

Cameron raised an eyebrow, "I'll pay."

"Sold," Brett chuckled.

When Alex returned in black, pants and heeled boots with a blue sweater. The eldest Cabot looked to Cameron who smiled. "I told you that sweater would look great on you."

Alex raised an eyebrow but replied, "Thanks." She turned her attention to Brett. "Ready?"

He nodded. "Cameron's coming. She offered to pay."

"Great," Alex glanced at her sister, "I know the perfect place then."

Dinner went on without a hitch. They at a great meal, Brett told entertaining story after entertaining story, and Alex's foul mood lightened for a bit.

"Geez it's already eleven thirty?" Cameron looked at her watch, "I gotta go. I have a meeting tomorrow morning." She hugged her sister, "Love you Lex." Then she hugged Brett, "It's nice to see you again."

"You too," Brett smiled, his green eyes sparkling.

Cameron walked off and Brett walked with Alex back to her apartment. They were mostly quiet because Alex was back in her own head.

After getting comfortable on the couch, Alex looked at Brett from one end of the couch. He smiled back and asked, "How come you're not married?"

Alex was surprised by the question, but answered, "Well it just became legal."

He rolled his eyes, "That's not what I meant."

"I work a lot," Alex replied, whipping out the standard answer.

"So do I," he answered, "And I ended up with a wife and kids. I know lots of ADAs with significant others and kids."

Alex leaned back and rested her head on the armrest, "I don't know. I just…I just broke up with…an amazing woman." It felt good to talk about the situation with someone who wasn't involved. Her usual confidant, Cameron was too involved.

"Why?" he asked gently, putting his hands behind his head, leaning back on the couch.

Alex paused and answered, "At this point, after seeing my dad, I can't be…anything for her when I'm like this." She swallowed some tears, "I'm a mess right now. Work is the only thing that keeps me going."

Brett reached over and put his hand on her knee, "Who said you have to be anything for her?"

"I did," Alex stated, "A relationship is give and take on both sides."

After thinking about how he would put what he was about to say. He looked back at Alex and added, "Maybe you give her something you don't know about." He patted her knee, "As hard as you try, you don't have to be everything to everyone. You even did it when you were younger. You were my best friend and my private tutor. You were everything to Cameron. Now you a crime fighter in New York City, putting away criminals daily and protecting a city of eight million people. Maybe this amazing woman doesn't expect you to be anyone but you."

Knowing that Brett was making complete sense, but she still didn't think dating was such a good idea at the moment. "I'm sure that's what she did want. Olivia is the sweetest, most genuine person I've ever met. I just…I wouldn't be comfortable not being able to contribute something."

Brett raised an eyebrow, "If I trick you into a weekend alone with her in Atlantic City would you be mad at me?"

Alex laughed, "I'd charge you with kidnapping. Plus telling me your plan just ruined any chance you had of pulling it off."

"You greatly underestimate me," Brett chuckled, "I think this woman will be good for you right now."

"I don't want her to be burdened like that so early in the game," the blonde closed her eyes felling a wave of exhaustion hit her.

"You're not a burden Alex," the lieutenant sternly added, "You're a great friend, a brilliant attorney from what I've read, and you're not terrible to look at." The last part came out with a smile.

Alex looked up at Brett and smiled, "Not terrible huh?"

"It's weird if I call you hot," he stated, "You're like my sister."

The ADA nodded and we quiet for a bit, "So you'd really kidnap me for a weekend in Atlantic City."

"A long weekend," he added, "It takes a while to completely enjoy Atlantic City."

"I think I need a vacation," she told him, "And I have four years worth of vacation time accumulated."

"Are you really going to go on vacation with Olivia?" he asked running a hand through his brown hair.

"After what I've put her through I couldn't ask her to come with me," Alex shook her head, "Just me and a weekend long spa package."

"I'm making the reservations for you tomorrow morning," Brett stated trying to stifle a yawn.

"You need to get to bed," Alex told him, sitting up. "You have a seminar in the morning."

"You're almost as bad as my wife," Brett stood, "Are you going to bed?"

"I'm gonna take a shower first," the blonde stood with him. They walked down the hallway to the bedrooms and parted ways at the door of the guest room.

Brett changed into some boxers and fell onto the bed, grabbing his phone off of the nightstand. He dialed a number after he heard the shower start.

"Hello?" Cameron's voice asked sleepily.


	26. Chapter 26

When Alex woke up, she could hear Brett already moving around in the direction of the living room and kitchen.

She put some pants on, straightened out her cami, and pulled her hair back before padding to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. Knowing that she had a couple hours before she had to leave for court, Alex didn't put her makeup or court clothes on.

She walked barefooted into the kitchen where she could smell the coffee that was brewing in the machine. She walked into the kitchen where Brett was standing in front of her laptop. He smiled, "Good morning."

"Morning," Alex b-lined for the coffee.

"Your reservation is confirmed," Brett added, taking a sip of his coffee.

The blonde paused the mug at her lips, "What reservations?"

"You're going to Atlantic City next weekend," he stated, "No ifs ands or buts."

"Wait," Alex's eyes widened, "What? I wasn't completely serious."

"Well your boss's secretary called this morning and told me to tell you that you need to take some time off," Brett leaned back on the counter.

"How did you pay for the reservation?" the blonde raised an eyebrow as she settled on a stool.

Brett smiled, "Cameron gave me her credit card number."

"Where am I staying?"

"The Borgata."

"Seriously?" Alex asked, "You're sue she didn't steal on of my credit cards?"

A hearty laugh came from the officer. "She said that your mom insisted that you stay longer than a weekend and she paid for part of it. Cameron and your mom are both worried around you."

"Everyone should stop worrying about me," Alex stated, "I'm fine."

"You're also a bad liar," Brett crossed his muscular arms, "You need to relax and when you come back try to give Olivia a chance."

"How long did you talk to Cameron yesterday?" the blonde picked up the paper off of the counter, "Because you're starting to sound like her."

After they parted ways, Alex was stuck in court most of the day until she was summoned to Jack's office where he berated her for a police officer's mistake. Alex took the speech in stride assuring Jack that she'd fix whatever was wrong while simultaneously informing him that she would be taking next Friday through Tuesday off. His reply that her vacation was a smile and something to the effect of "finally".

Brett called her just as she was about to bang her head on the desk due to the number of motions Langon had sent to her office.

"Sounds like you need a drink," he chuckled.

His lighthearted attitude started to seep through the phone and she replied, "I need more that one."

"Let's hit a bar," the sound of the car honking caused him to pause, "I've always wanted to have a Manhattan in Manhattan."

She told him to tell a cab driver to take him to a bar down the street from the DA's office. After hanging up, Alex put on her jacket and picked up her purse, leaving the rest of her work to pick up on the way home or, if the bartender gave her, her way, tomorrow morning.

It was a short chilly walk to the bar with a lucky break in the rain. She found Brett already at the bar sipping on a drink.

"Hey," He smiled and looked to the bartender, "Another Manhattan for my lovely friend here."

"You're buying me something stronger later," Alex stated accepting a hug that Brett was offering.

He smiled, the green sweater her was donning, bringing out his deep green eyes, "Bad day at the office honey."

Alex raised an eyebrow, "Don't call me honey. It's creepy."

"I've known you for thirty years," he smirked, "I can call you whatever I want."

"You sure know how to make a girl feel young," Alex finally let out a small smile. She accepted her drink from the bartender and looked at Brett, "How was your seminar?"

"It was informative," Brett answered, "Now we don't have to rely on highly decisive and competent ADAs from out of town to make decisions for us."

"That's good because I'm never going back there," Alex ran a hand through her hair.

Her companion leaned on the bar, "Not even to see your best friend?"

"Nope," Alex rested her chin in her palm, "I'll meet you halfway."

"Ithaca it is," he smiled.

As much as it annoyed her, Brett's good mood was contagious and soon they were both engaged in conversation with patrons of the bar who were mostly city officials, police officers, and attorneys.

Drink after drink washed Alex's rigidness down the toilet. She talked, laughed, and flirted with anyone who would do it back as she and Brett commandeered the pool table.

Brett saw her first. Lurking in the shadows and eyeing Alex from behind her martini. He knew that look in any woman's eyes and suddenly felt protective over Alex. The look from the woman in the corner was that of a womanizer, a seductress, and a complete player. Of course he could be being overprotective. The big brother type was easy for him to slide into around Alex.

Although he had only know grown up Alex for a few days, Brett knew enough to know that Alex didn't really drink that much that often. She was hurting now and she was trying to hide it. She was grasping at anything that would make her forget what happened in Buffalo.

While he was deep in thought, Brett didn't notice the woman from the shadows walked up to Alex. He noticed the generic line of "Buy you a drink?"

He didn't hear Alex answer, but he saw that she smiled and nodded. The woman walked off and Brett studied her. She looked like an attorney. Something about her swagger that was hid behind tight jeans and a white button down shirt made Brett sure. He also saw something disarming in the woman's light blue-green eyes and the soft curl of her long blonde hair.

Again before he moved to intervene the woman had taken Alex a fresh drink and leaned back on the pool table while Alex talked to her standing with a pool cue in one hand and the drink in another.

Brett decided to see what was going on because the woman was obviously into Alex and he thought Alex wasn't in the right state of mind to be into anyone.

"What's the hold up?" he smiled as he neared. He slung his arm around his childhood friend to try to send the woman the signal to get lost.

"Sorry, we got caught up," Alex smiled to the woman who answered with a gorgeous dimpled smile.

"You're Alex's…brother?" the woman asked.

Alex chuckled, "Something like that."

"I don't believe we've met," Brett offered his hand, "I'm Brett."

She took his hand with a soft firmness of a confident woman, "Serena Southerlyn."


	27. Chapter 27

Cameron was in the middle of a date when she got a call from Brett. She politely excused herself from her gracious date and took the call right outside the door of the restaurant.

"Serena?" Cameron asked as she stood under the awning. The rain had started again and she was careful to keep the boots she borrowed from Alex dry.

"Yeah," Brett answered, "Alex looks into her."

"I don't think there's anything we can do now," Cameron explained, "Alex and Serena have a history."

"Really?" Brett asked, leaning back against the wall of the men's room.

"Yeah," Cameron wrapped her free arm around herself, "It started when they were both in law school. They were both clerking for judges in offices right next to each other. The spent long hours studying for the bar together and they took it together. At some point they slept together. Alex didn't tell me exactly when, but she told me nothing would come of it. And now they have chance meetings because they work in the same office and sometimes it happens."

"It just happens?" Brett asked, "How does it just happen?"

"Well Brett when two people find each other physically attractive," Cameron condescendingly started before rolling her eyes, "Welcome to the big city, cowboy."

Cameron's attitude didn't bother Brett. It was just hard for him to think of Alex in those terms. She was always the perfect student, perfect friend, perfect sister, perfect everything. There was nothing wrong with sex, it was just Brett never saw Alex like that.

"Sorry," Cameron added, "I've talked to Serena. She's a smart, great person. Plus she's gorgeous. Hell I'd date her. As much as I want Alex with Olivia, Serena is a close second."

"Okay," Brett answered, "You know her better than me so I'll step back."

"That's probably the best idea," the youngest Cabot stated, "My interference in Alex's personal life has probably already crossed a line. I'll let Olivia know that I can't step in anymore. I want her to be happy, but if I keep trying she might start pushing me away and I really don't want that."

"I understand," the lieutenant looked up when a man walked into the bathroom, "I better let you get back to your date. I'm sure Alex can sort it all out."

"Yeah," Cameron added, not really believing her own answer, "I'll talk to you later."

"Okay," Brett answered and hung up.

When Brett rounded the corner of the hallway the bathrooms were housed in, he saw Serena brush some hair out of Alex's face. Alex seemed to like the touch so Brett decided to go make friends with the group of officers playing pool.

Half an hour later, Brett decided to call it a night. He walked over to Alex and Serena announcing that he was ready to turn in.

"Oh," Alex stood with him, "I guess I'm ready too."

"You don't have to come," he subtly gestured to Serena, "Just give me your keys and address."

"I have to go to work tomorrow," Alex told Serena who smiled in understanding.

"Me too," the other ADA replied, "But how about we do dinner tomorrow right?"

Alex looked to Brett who added, "The seminar is going to run long tomorrow and I'll probably end up here."

"Dinner sounds great," Alex told Serena, "Drop by my office tomorrow after you're done and we'll decide then where to go."

Serena nodded, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Alex replied with a coy smile and followed Brett out.

"You should have stayed," Brett told Alex as they got into a cab.

"I really do have to work tomorrow," Alex replied, not convincingly.

Brett looked over at the blonde and raised an eyebrow conveying that he didn't believe her excuse. Brett decided playing dumb was the best way to go so he mentioned, "Way to get a date with Serena."

"It's not a date," Alex automatically replied, "It's dinner. We're old friends."

"Ah," Brett smirked, "_Good_ friends?"

Alex rolled her eyes, but didn't answer.

Cameron was all grins after her date was over, but she couldn't stop thinking about her sister. She wanted to know what was going on with Alex and what she was thinking. Serena wasn't a terrible choice, but she was still pulling for Olivia.

Thinking about Olivia caused Cameron to pull out her phone and dial the detective's number.

"Benson," was Olivia's automatic answer.

"Hey Liv," Cameron's bubbly voice replied, "I was wondering if you were busy?"

"No," Olivia answered, "I'm still at the precinct catching up on paperwork. Apparently when Alex does nothing, but work it means I have to catch up faster."

"How about I drop by with some fresh coffee?" Cameron asked, "Is there anyone else there?"

"Yeah my partner," Olivia answered.

"I'll be right there with two large coffees," the blonde added before hanging up.

Olivia closed her phone and put it down next to her. Elliot looked across his desk from her, "Who was that?"

"Cameron Cabot," Olivia answered looking back down at the paper she was working on.

"Any relation to Alex Cabot?" Elliot asked, leaning back in his chair.

Olivia nodded looking at him and setting her pen down, "Alex's little sister."

Elliot looked deep in thought before cautiously asking, "Is she what happened between you and Alex?"

"What?" Olivia raised an eyebrow.

Momentarily uncomfortable not knowing what to say, Elliot paused and crossed his arms, "You and Alex haven't been as close as usual. Maybe because you're dating her little sister and she doesn't like it?"

Olivia laughed and shook her head, "No. Cameron and I are just friends." She refrained from saying that Alex was the only Cabot she was interested in dating.

"Well what happened between you and Alex?" Elliot asked finally, wanting to after wanting to ask for days.

Olivia shook her head, "I don't know. She sort of…" Olivia leaned onto her desk, "She's pulled away. Isolating herself."

Elliot nodded, "I noticed. Anything I can do?"

"Cameron and I have been trying to think of something to do but we have no idea," Olivia explained, "At least Brett is with her now."

"Her friend from Buffalo?" Elliot asked to clarify.

Olivia nodded.

A few seconds later the sound of sneakers on the floor of the empty precinct sounded. Elliot looked at the door and Olivia just went back to work, knowing who it was.

The youngest Cabot turned the corner into the room and immediately spotted Olivia. There were two cups of coffee in a drink tray in one of her hands and a white paper bag in the other.

"Hey," she smiled brightly.

Elliot knew immediately that that was Alex's sister. They had the same color hair and eyes, and the same sharp feminine features. Alex's sister was wearing jeans with different colors of paint all over them and a blue hoodie.

"Hey Cam," Olivia looked up at and smiled, "Thanks for the coffee."

"No problem," Cameron walked over to their desks and set the coffee and bag down between them, "I brought muffins too." She looked at Elliot, "I don't believe we've met. I'm Cameron Cabot."

"Elliot Stabler," Elliot stood and shook her head before sitting down again.

"That other coffee is for you," Cameron told him, "And have as many muffins as you want."

"Thank you," Elliot nodded and took the coffee and a muffin.

Olivia sipped her coffee, "How was your date?"

"Amazing," Cameron's eyes twinkled.

"You say that about every date you've had since I've known you," Olivia smiled.

Cameron smiled, "They were all amazing."

"You're aggravatingly happy," Olivia teased as she rooted around in the bag for the muffin of her choice.

"Stop digging," Cameron leaned on the desk, "I already ate the banana nut muffin."

Olivia raised an eyebrow at Cameron, "You're starting to act like the little sister I never wanted."

"If I get my way, which I usually do, I'll be your little sister eventually," Cameron waggled her eyebrows.

Olivia shot a glance at Elliot who smiled when he saw her looking at him. The jig was up and Elliot knew what was going on.

Cameron smiled slyly and pushed herself away from the desk, "I'm going to go home and bask in the greatness that is me. Earlier today I gave up scheming, but I've decided that was premature. I have some blueprints to draw up and some rocket powered roller skates to order. See you later Liv. Bye Elliot."

"Bye," Elliot called after the blonde that practically skipped out of the room.

Olivia just shook her head after the youngest Cabot before looking at her partner who was grinning like a fool.

"I can't believe she's related to Alex either," Olivia said and went back to her work.

"No, no, no you're not getting off that easy," Elliot took another sip of his coffee, "What is or was going on with you and Cabot?"

"It's a long story," Olivia stated.

"Good thing I just got coffee then huh?"

* * *

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	28. Chapter 28

Wow. As of right now there are 81 votes. I didn't even think that many people read this. I have taken them into account. I hope you enjoy where I'm going. Thanks for reading.

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It was unreal how many times working at the DA's office made Alex want to bang her head on the desk. She slid her glasses off and rubbed her eyes. Alex leaned back in her chair and looked out the window. She was surprised to find it was dark outside already.

A knock on the doorframe caused her to look at the doorway and find Serena. She smiled softly and asked, "You okay?"

Alex nodded and closed the file in front of her. "You ready?"

"If you are," Serena answered. She had changed out of her court attire into a dark green sweater and black pants.

Glad that she had changed right after court, Alex grabbed her purse and stood, "I need to get out of here."

"Where to?" Serena asked after Alex locked her office. They leisurely walked to the elevator and waited.

"Um," Alex thought, looking over at Serena who was patiently waiting for an answer. "I don't know. You decide."

"Italian it is," Serena smiled, "You look tired. Why don't we just pick it up and go to my apartment?" Although there could have been a sexual undertone to the last sentence, there wasn't one. The only tone in Serena's voice was concern.

"Sounds great," Alex smiled back, grateful that Serena didn't want to stay at a restaurant for hours or head to a bar.

The drive to Serena's apartment was comfortably quiet, and Serena ordered dinner on the way. When they got to Serena's apartment, the shorter blonde told Alex to make herself at home. "What do you want to drink? I have wine, water, and coffee."

"Wine please," Alex felt that the wine would help her relax a little more.

"Red or white?"

"Red."

Serena nodded and went into the kitchen, returning a few seconds later with two wine glasses and a bottle of red wine. Serena poured the wine and sat next to Alex. Alex picked up her wine glass and took a long sip. She was thankful that Serena wasn't trying to force a conversation. It wasn't that she couldn't talk to Serena about just about anything, but she was tired of talking. She just wanted to relax.

"You looked…different," Serena mentioned.

"Different?" Alex asked.

Serena qualified her statement by adding, "You…there's something missing."

Alex sighed, "You sure know how to sweet talk a girl."

Serena chuckled, "Sweet talking is something I'm great at. I'm just merely making an observation."

The SVU ADA nodded. "I don't know. Maybe something is. Lately, everything around me has just been a whirl of colors and sounds. Like a hurricane."

Serena reached over and gently squeezed Alex's shoulder, "It happens to the best of us. You just have to find something stable to hold onto and wait for the hurricane to pass."

"There's nothing to hold onto," Alex set her wine glass down.

Serena followed suit and added, "Turn your back toward me."

Alex raised an eyebrow, but complied. Serena started massaging Alex's back, the knots and tension melting away.

"You are really good at this," Alex nearly moaned.

"I know," Serena smiled and continued kneading Alex's worries into oblivion.

A few minutes later, Alex was really relaxed and the doorbell ran announcing that their food had arrived. Serena got up and got the food from the delivery boy. She came back to the couch were Alex was sitting with her eyes closed.

"You're exhausted."

"I know," Alex slowly opened her eyes.

"You need to sleep," Serena stated, opening her food and taking a bite.

Alex sighed, "I can't. There's always someone to wake me up. I can't even sleep in my own apartment."

"I have a perfectly suitable bed in the bedroom down the hall," Serena added, "Where no one will disturb you and you can sleep for as long as you want. I'll answer your phone and answer whatever legal questions I can."

Alex looked over at Serena with a questioning look.

Serena smirked, "No. I didn't ask you here for an illicit rendezvous. You need to sleep. That's why you're going to eat this sleep inducing pasta and then go sleep in the most comfortable bed in the world."

The taller blonde leaned over and rested her head on Serena's shoulder, "You're a really great friend."

"I know," Serena rubbed Alex's back.

Alex smiled and sat up to start eating her food. Soon they were both done and Serena shooed Alex down the hallway for a shower and to bed.

Serena was curled up on her couch with a book in her hand when Alex's phone rang a few hours after her friend had gone to bed. She picked it up and answered, "Cabot's phone."

"Where's Alex?" the voice on the other end of the line asked.

"She in the middle of a much needed sleep," Serena answered, "If this is personal, it'll have to wait, but if it's a legal question I'm perfectly qualified to answer any questions. I'm ADA Southerlyn."

"Southerlyn," Olivia's voice dropped, "Oh well…uh…it's something that can wait."

"Okay," Serena replied.

"Thanks, bye," Olivia sighed and hung up her phone. Olivia sank onto her couch and ran a hand through her hair. So that was that, Alex was already sleeping with someone else. Olivia's window had passed. "Damn it," she muttered.


	29. Chapter 29

Alex lurked in the corner of the interrogation room behind Elliot, who was seated, watching the perp. He was squirming in his seat and seemingly unnerved by Alex's presence.

"Tell us what happened," Elliot quietly stated with his arms folded on the table in front of him.

The perp looked at his attorney, Sophie Devere who was thinking. She looked at Alex, "What do we get?"

"Third degree aggravated sexual assault," Alex stated immediately.

"C'mon Alex," Sophie urged Alex.

The blonde shook her head, "I have him for first degree easy. Five to fifteen for sure or risk the rest of your life in a courtroom."

The perp's eyes nearly shot out of his sockets. He looked at Sophie and nodded vigorously. Sophie nodded, "He'll tell you."

"Great," Alex walked to the door, "I'll go file the paperwork." She walked out of the interrogation room and found Cragen and Olivia watching through the glass.

"Good job Alex," Cragen added with a small smile, "You're intimidating again."

Alex smirked, "Thanks Don. That's what I love to hear."

Olivia didn't offer her usual congratulations to Alex. She was still uneasy about the whole Serena situation even though it had happened five days ago.

"Oh Don," Alex paused at the door as she started to leave, "I'm going to take a few days off. If you need any warrants or anything," she reached into the outside pocket of her attaché and pulled out a card, "Call Serena Southerlyn. She'll be filling in for me."

The name Serena Southerlyn still stung Olivia and tied her stomach into knots. At least Serena wasn't taking time off at the same time as Alex.

"Okay. Take it easy Alex," Don smiled, "You deserve it."

Alex nodded. She paused when Olivia caught her eyes, but when the detective looked away, Alex internally sighed and walked out of the office.

A few hours later, Olivia looked over at the youngest Cabot and asked, "What's Alex doing on her time off?"

Cameron pretended to think, "She said something about reading and sleeping. Exciting things like that."

"Ah," Olivia continued to stir her coffee that had been in front of her for at least ten minutes, "Sound like fun to me."

That last sentence make Cameron have to squash a smile. Olivia was making her plan way too easy. "You should take some time off."

The brunette shrugged, "Maybe."

Cameron slowly counted to twenty in her head before her let out a gasp, "I won a trip to Atlantic City in a raffle thingy at a fundraiser I went to and it's for this weekend. I have a hard deadline on a painting I haven't even started yet so there's no way I can go. You should go."

"Oh no I couldn't," Olivia shook her head.

"Pleeeeeease," Cameron begged, "If you don't go it'll go to waste and I really don't want that."

Olivia looked into her coffee, "Really?"

"Yeah," the blonde nodded, "All you have to do is bring money to lose in the casino. There's a plane ticket, a spa package and all the food is paid for."

After a minute of thought Olivia nodded, "That sounds great."

"Great!" Cameron ecstatically grinned, "I'll drop the key to the room and the plane ticket off tomorrow."

"You're a great friend," Olivia finally smiled.

_Greater than you know_ the blonde thought wickedly.

After some talk about past trips to Atlantic City, Olivia cited that she needed to get home and figure out what to wear on her vacation.

"Thank you so much Cam," Olivia hugged Cameron as they left the coffee shop.

"It's my pleasure," Cameron replied as they walked into the rain filled evening.

Cameron fell back onto her couch with a cell phone to her ear, "I told you. I worked perfectly."

"I concede that you are the master plan maker," Brett replied, "Good job."

"I feel like I should let out an evil laugh or something," Cameron grinned, obviously proud of herself.

The lieutenant chuckled, "Don't celebrate yet. How are you going to make sure that they run into each other in Atlantic City."

"That's easy," the blonde answered, "The problem is keeping Alex from killing me after she realizes what I've done."

"What about Olivia?" Brett asked, "Won't she be angry?"

"No," Cameron shook her head although Brett was across the state and couldn't see it, "She'll think I'm the second best person in the world because Alex is going to realize that she's being an idiot. She's going to try to kill me for the way that I went about helping her."

"If you need protection, I have a guestroom covered in toys you're welcome to," Brett added.

Cameron chuckled, "I love toys. Especially blocks. I'm good with those. If Alex goes on the warpath when she gets home, Buffalo is my first stop."

"Great." A chorus of kids chanting 'Daddy, daddy' came across the line.

"Go have fun with your kids," Cameron said, "I'll call you to let you know how it goes."

"Thanks Cameron," he answered as the chanting got louder, "Bye."

"Bye," the blonde hung up. She sighed and smiled at the ceiling. Everything was going according to plan so far.

Alex was contemplating cancelling her vacation, but after calling her sister she changed her mind. Cameron quietly berated her until Alex gave in, deciding that Cameron was right and she did need some time off.

Looking at all her bags in the trunk of Cameron's car in the wind of the afternoon, the next day, Alex recounted everything she had packed for her six day sabbatical. As the time to leave her apartment approached, she started to get excited. Almost a week of relaxing massages, facials, and losing exorbitant sums of money in the casino and nearby shops was just what she needed and now she realized that.

The younger blonde practically bounced to the truck and took out Alex's bags, "Do you have your plane ticket and reservation confirmation?"

"Yes," Alex nodded, checking the pocket of her jacket for both.

Handing over the bags, Cameron hugged her sister and beamed, "Have a great time. Call me to let me know that you landed and make sure to get a warm stone massage. It's stellar."

"I will," Alex smiled. She hugged her sister again, "You're taking care of my apartment?"

The shorter blonde nodded, "Got it. Now go or you'll miss your awesome vacation."

"Love you," Alex hugged her sister for a third time and slung her smaller bag over her shoulder, "Bye."

"Love you too," Cameron smiled and watched Alex walked into the airport. After Alex was out of sight, a wicked grin took over her face, "Phase one is complete."

"What do you wear in Atlantic City?" Olivia asked Cameron over the phone as she threw some clothes into a bag the next morning.

"Whatever you want," Cameron answered as she bit her lip looking at the painting she was in the middle of.

Olivia's voice came out of her phone that was on speaker, sitting on the small table next to her. "What do I want to wear?"

"Something sexy," the blonde answered dipping a brush into blue paint and leaning close to her canvas.

"Sexy?" Olivia asked, "For what?"

Cameron couldn't stop a smile from gracing her face, "Everyone should feel sexy every once and a while. After your massages and facials you'll feel like a giant puddle of sexy."

"If you say so," the detective smirked. After a pause she added, "Thanks for driving me to the airport tomorrow."

"No problem," Cameron replied, using her finger to smudge some paint, "Oh, make sure to take a bathing suit."

"Already have it," Olivia answered, "I plan of spending as much time as I can in a hot tub."

"Perfect," Cameron stood from her painting and looked it over.

"Finish?" the detective asked, closing her bag.

The blonde swept a stray piece of hair from her face, "Yeah."

"Can I see it?" Olivia asked.

A chuckled came from the younger woman, "After you get back from Atlantic City." Cameron surveyed the image she had created. A blue feminine figure and a light brown feminine figure intertwined together in a laying position. The obvious representation made Cameron smile.

"Fine," Olivia slid on her shoes, "You better get here before my plane takes off without me."

Cameron put her paintbrush down and grabbed her keys and phone, "I'm on my way right now."

As Olivia sat in the passenger's seat of Cameron's car she couldn't help, but think that Cameron looked almost exactly like Alex. A small part of her was using Cameron as a surrogate Alex and she knew it. But the rest of her knew that Cameron was a great friend and was completely different from Alex.

She shook her head. This was not the time to think about Alex. This was a time to forget about Alex and hopefully move on.

Her goodbye to Olivia was considerably shorter than her goodbye to Alex. Cameron thought her plan over as she drove back to Alex's apartment to clean up her art mess. The same grin that had adorned her face was gone and now there was nothing to do but wait. She hated waiting.

The Borgata was more elegant than the pictures on the website had lead her believe. Olivia looked around at the soft lights and high ceilings on the way to the elevator. Cameron had given her a key to the room so check in wasn't necessary.

The plush carpets and spotless glass made New York City and her job seems a world away. She could feel the magic of the hotel already start to melt away her stress.

Getting to her floor, Olivia stepped off the elevator and immediately spotted the room number that was printed on the envelope the room key came in. Sliding the key into the lock, she half expected it not to work. When the green light came on, she pushed the door open and walked in lugging her bags with her.

"Wow," she breathed seeing the huge bed and massive TV facing it. She dropped her bags next to the bed and sat down. She decided that the bed was the greatest thing her butt had ever sat on and decided her back need the same treatment she laid down.

Olivia picked the remote up off of the table and turned the TV on. A room full of old men filled the huge plasma screen. She smirked, "Who watched C-SPAN while they're on vacation?" She flipped a few channels and decided that TV was not the way to spend her time in Atlantic City.

As she pulled a clean shirt on, she didn't hear the key slide into the lock, but she did hear it open. She stood, shocked at the person standing in the doorway. The blonde standing in the doorway was just as shocked to see the detective standing in the room.

"Alex," Olivia breathed as the detective part of the brain went into overdrive and the pieces of the rather large puzzle fell into place.

Alex stepped in and let the door close behind her, "What's going on?"

Olivia ran a hand through her hair, "I think we've been had."


	30. Chapter 30

"I'm going to kill her," Alex leaned on the back of the couch that was in the room.

Olivia couldn't stop a smirk.

The blonde softened a little at the smirk, "She's good. I'll give her that."

Standing from the bed, Olivia offered, "I'll get another room."

Secretly disappointed at the offer, Alex shook her head, "Don't be silly. There's a casino downstairs, I won't sleep that much anyway."

"If you're sure," Olivia raised an eyebrow, studying Alex.

The blonde nodded, "It won't be a problem." She ran a hand through her hair.

"Did you get your hair cut?" Olivia noticed immediately when she saw Alex's hand run through it.

A small smile adorned the ADA's face, "Yeah. Just a trim."

"It looks good," the detective smiled.

"Thanks," Alex looked at the ground and crossed her arms, "Um, I'm going to find a poker table and see how much of my lawyer skills apply to keeping a poker face."

"I've seen you bluff better than any ADA I've ever met," Olivia commented, "I think you'll do fine."

Blushing, Alex slightly smiled, "Thanks again." There was a brief paused, "What are you going to do?"

"No idea," Olivia answered, "I was thinking about getting something to eat."

"There's a great restaurant downstairs," Alex shuffled her feet, "I'll walk you down if you'd like."

Although she wasn't really hungry enough to have dinner yet, Olivia nodded with a smile, "That's be great."

"Great," Alex nervously smiled back, "Let me just to put a clean shirt on." She went over to her bag which was on the far side of the bed from the door, explaining why Olivia didn't see it. After pulling out a deep green long sleeved shirt, Alex, without thinking about it, pulled off her dirty shirt and slid the clean one on.

Olivia's mouth dropped open as the first shirt came off and she stared hard at the ground while Alex changed. She wasn't sure how fast her palms started sweating, but Olivia wiped them as best she could on her pants as she looked at the ground.

Alex wondered what was so entrancing on the ground and realized the reason when she saw a slight blush on Olivia's cheeks. She couldn't resist teasing the detective. "Something interesting on the ground?"

"I…um…" Olivia stuttered and gulped, "Uh…Dinner?"

Alex chuckled and walked to the door. "Okay."

The ride the in the elevator was almost unbearably awkward. Neither one could think of anything to say. When Alex could see the restaurant from across the casino, she stopped, "There is it."

"Have you eaten lately?" Olivia asked almost automatically.

Alex shrugged, "I ate a late lunch so I'm not hungry."

"Ah," Olivia nodded, lingering a little, "I'll see you later then."

All the blonde could do was nod, "Okay."

It took a while, or what seemed a while, for Olivia to start walking off. When her feet started moving, she b-lined for the restaurant and didn't look back.

After she was seated Olivia took out her phone and called the Master Mind.

"Hey," Cameron answered, cheerfully.

"She said she's going to kill you."

"I figured," Cameron chuckled, "I have an escape plan."

Olivia took her phone away from her ear to order her food then put it back, "Do you have an escape plan from me?"

"I don't need one," the blonde playfully droned, "You're not as mean as Alex." There was a crashing sound in the background and before Olivia could ask if she was okay, Cameron added, "I'm not in Alex's apartment. You're my alibi."

Cameron got more entertaining as time does by for Olivia who answered, "I'm going to plead the fifth if she asks. You're on your own."

"Gee thanks. After all I've done for you and my oblivious sister," Cameron replied, "Remember, you have two days. Don't waste it. My loving sister is calling me so I should answer that."

"Thanks, Cam," Olivia added, "Have fun."

"I plan to," the blonde replied cheekily, "Have fun to you too. Bye future sister-in-law."

"Bye," Olivia laughed and hung up just as her food arrived.

"Hello dearest sister of mine," Cameron cooed through the speaker next to Alex's ear.

"I'm going to kill you," Alex stated.

Cameron laughed, "I know. Olivia told me."

"You talked to her?" the eldest blonde asked as she leaned against the outside wall of the restroom in the casino figuring it was the quietest place in that particular part of the building.

"Yeah," Cameron fell back on the couch and picked up the remote, "I had to hang up with her to answer your call."

Alex paused, debating whether or not to ask the question that was on her mind. She finally gave in and asked, "What did she say?"

"She said that she wouldn't be my alibi," Cameron said matter-of-factly.

"What did you do?" the ADA asked in all seriousness.

Cameron laughed, "I didn't do anything to get me in trouble with your office. Don't worry."

Alex sighed, "What else did she say?"

"She ordered a southwest salad," Cameron replied.

Becoming frustrated with her sister, Alex added, "You know what I mean."

"Oh you mean how does she feel about being stuck with you?"

"Yes," Alex sighed.

Alex could hear her doorbell ring in the background and Cameron saying, "That must be my pad Thai."

"Cameron!" Alex said sternly to get her sister's attention.

"Lexi, you're going to have to find out for yourself," Cameron stated, "I have to go. There's a Star Wars marathon starting as soon as I get my food. Olivia is only going to be there for two days. Do something. Love you. Bye." There was a snap and Cameron was gone.

Alex sighed and pocketed her phone. She had a lot to think over and she decided that the best place to think was behind two cards at the Texas Hold 'Em table.


	31. Chapter 31

Super special thanks for stephybearx for some insider info ;-)

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Alex didn't know how long she'd been at the table, but as she was starting to get dirty looks from the other players she decided it was time to take her 'chips' and leave. The dealer swiped Alex's card and shoveled the chips off of the table. Her winnings were not making her feel any better. She wondered what Olivia was doing, but knew that the only place with a high chance of running into Olivia was in their room. So she headed to the bar.

And that's where she found herself as the hands on her watch crawled toward the witching hour. She wanted to be upstairs reading or sleeping, but she didn't want to run into Olivia. Her awkward quota was already met ten times over.

It's not like she was avoiding Olivia. Well, she was, but she didn't want to. Her legs wouldn't move from the rungs of the barstool and her hands wouldn't let go of her drink.

_Two_ _days_, kept ringing in her head like Cameron was standing behind her whispering it into her ear incessantly. Alex groaned at the apparition of her sister as the scantly clad bartender walked past.

She stopped, smiled brightly and asked, "What's wrong?"

Alex raised an eyebrow at the girl who looked like she just turned old enough to work behind a bar.

She leaned on the counter behind the bar, "They pay me to listen." Her pixie haircut swayed as she brushed some brown strands out of her eyes.

"I thought bartenders got paid to serve drinks," Alex deadpanned.

A cheeky smile emitted from the young girl, "Common misconception." Recognizing Alex as the kind that wouldn't open up, she poured Alex another drink, "If you wanna talk, I'm right here."

"Thanks," Alex added, but knew that she wasn't going to engage the young woman. Unfortunately, her problems were bigger than a drunken confession to a bartender.

Finally deciding that she was tired enough to lay down and immediately fall asleep, Alex headed up to her room, telling the perky bartender to charge her drinks to her room.

She walked in and saw that Olivia was nowhere to be found. She changed into her pajamas and sat on the couch in the room, wanting to get at least a little reading done, but her plan wasn't able to be carried out. The ADA passed out on page five of her novel from a combination of the alcohol hitting her bloodstream plus physical and emotional exhaustion.

Half an hour later, Olivia walked into the room with a yawn and half as much money as she left with. Deciding the pace her gambling the next day, Olivia decided a shower was the best way to go. Pulling off her shirt and stretching Olivia tossed the shirt to her bag. Then she noticed the top of a blonde head peeking up from the other side of the couch. Thinking that she may need to grab a shirt, she decided she may not because the blonde head hadn't moved since she walked in.

The detective smiled when she saw Alex asleep on the couch with a book in her hand. Her glasses were on and her head was slightly tilted back.

Then Olivia looked from the bed to Alex and back. It would probably be less awkward in the morning, or early afternoon depending on when they woke up, if she left Alex on the couch. Then she looked at the blonde who she knew would become uncomfortable eventually.

Olivia sighed, knowing that she knew what she was going to do before she could sort it out in her mind. She went to her bag and pulled on a clean t-shirt. Then she went back to Alex who hadn't moved at all and seemed in a near comatose state.

She slid Alex's glasses off and took the book from her hand, being sure to save the place. Then she easily picked Alex up off of the couch, surprised about how light Alex really was. She made a mental note to get Alex to eat more as she gently set down the blonde on the side of the bed closest to the window. Alex rolled toward the middle of the bed and Olivia covered Alex with a blanket before taking a quick shower and turning off all the lights before settling in the bed next to Alex.

The detective laid there, awake for quiet sometime contemplating the woman asleep next to her. There was always something indescribable about Alex. There were a lot of adjectives to describe her, but there was one thing that Olivia couldn't put her finger on. It was the one thing that always drew her to Alex. Of course she was usually drawn to Alex by a number of things, but this was something constant every time she was around Alex.

As she contemplated, Alex snuggled into Olivia buried her face in Olivia's neck. The detective smiled and put an arm around the blonde who looked so peaceful at the moment. She knew that the morning would bring more problems, but right now she loved where she was. Everything about being with Alex felt right and she knew that Cameron was right in trying to push them together.

Olivia was caught between respecting the fact that Alex wanted her space and wanting to fight for them to be together. Closing her eyes, there was a definite timeline now. She didn't know the next time she was going to be able to get Alex alone so the next two days were crucial and she hadn't fully decided if she was going to back off or fight to be with the blonde in her arms.

Around ten a.m. Olivia slowly opened her eyes to a near blinding light coming through the window. Well, near blinding was an exaggeration, but it was enough for Olivia to put the blankets over her head. As her mind was becoming more awake she remember that there was someone missing from the now empty bed.

She looked around the room for a note or anything indicating where Alex had gone, but there was nothing, but the blonde's pajamas draped neatly over the back of the couch. She let herself fall back onto the bed still able to smell a mixture of Alex's shampoo and perfume on the pillow.

As she laid in the bed she was trying to decide between leaving Alex alone and pursuing her. Either way, Alex wasn't going to make it easy.


	32. Chapter 32

Alex had laid in bed for half an hour in Olivia's arms, thinking about her relationship with the detective or lack thereof. She knew that Olivia may very well be the best thing for her at the moment, but she didn't want Olivia to have to be stuck with her through this particular time when she felt like an emotional mess.

Although she couldn't argue with herself that she'd been treating Olivia less than friendly lately. She been trying to keep things professional and that may have cost her their friendship. Glad that she had booked a massage for the afternoon, Alex headed to the spa to see if she could sneak in a pedicure before her massage. As she walked toward the spa, Alex had an idea about how to mend her friendship with Olivia.

As Olivia pulled on a clean shirt the phone rang in the room. She walked to the nightstand and picked it up, "Hello?"

"Hello, Ms. Benson?"

"Yes," Olivia sat down on the bed.

"I'm calling to confirm a Swedish massage at noon," the pleasant man added.

Olivia raised an eyebrow, slightly confused, "I didn't…"

"It's already been paid for," he added amused, "And there is a request for your presence afterward in Fornelleto."

"Where's that?" Olivia asked.

"It's our fine Italian restaurant located on the first floor," he answered, "Between Izakaya, our Japanese restaurant and the spa where you massage will be."

"Thank you," the detective replied. She hung up with a small smile on her face. Alex never ceased to surprised her.

After the most relaxing massage of her life, Olivia went to the room, changed into some nice pants and a button down shirt after being told by the masseur that the restaurant she was going to had a dress code. When she got to the restaurant, she walked up to the matre'd who politely smiled, "How may I help you?"

"I'm meeting someone," Olivia answered.

He nodded, "Please follow me." He lead her into the sparsely occupied restaurant and toward the back where she finally saw Alex sitting at a table for two by herself. There was a glass of red wine in front of her as she perused the menu. She was wearing a deep red, knee length cocktail dress that almost matched her wine and dark brown knee high heeled boots. Her hair was down in some soft curls that fell around her shoulders.

"Thank you," Olivia told the matre'd who pulled her chair out for her.

Alex looked up at that Olivia and smiled, "How do you feel?"

"Very relaxed," Olivia replied, "Thank you."

"It was the least I could do," Alex smiled sweetly, "I haven't been the easiest person to be around lately."

"It's understandable," the detective immediately added.

A small not came from the blonde. She picked up her wine, "But I could have reacted better. I've been a mess for a while."

"Alex," Olivia leaned forward, "You don't have to explain yourself to me. I understand."

"I feel like I should," the ADA added, "Things have been really…awkward between us and I don't want that. I want to be friends again."

The word _friends, _stung Olivia deeply. It's not that she didn't want to be friends with Alex. It was that she wanted to be more than friends with Alex. She had felt like they should be together for a long time and they got along famously when not at work. And even at work they were starting to get along better. Civility was at an all time high when they fought and neither one ever walked away angry.

Olivia was able to save face enough so that Alex didn't see the disappointment. She smiled, "That sounds great." She decided being friend with Alex was better than nothing at all.

"Thank you," Alex let out a relieved smile.

They ate a fairly content lunch, before going back up to the room together. On the way up the elevator, Olivia suggested they hit the blackjack tables. Alex grinned and nodded, "Sounds great."

As soon as Alex opened the door, Olivia walked straight into the bathroom having drank at least three glasses of water at lunch along with the wine she shared with Alex.

When she walked out, Alex was on her phone standing at the window. "Yeah…mhm…of course…I'm sure he doesn't hate you. He just treats all ADAs he doesn't know like that," she laughed, "Don't worry about him, I'll be back in a few days and you'll be back to being Jack's glorified secretary…yeah, yeah I'm not scared of you…Take care of my detectives…bye." Alex snapped her phone shut.

Olivia felt she knew who was on the phone, but she wanted to know for sure, "How's Serena?"

Alex smiled at Olivia, "She's fine. Just updating me on the special victims cases. Do you know her?"

After a short pause the detective answered, "Professionally."

Alex nodded, "Oh."

She decided to continue prying, "You're friends?"

The blonde was momentarily speechless. "Sort of."

Olivia's stomach tied into knots again. Alex could see the wheels turning through Olivia's eyes and that her face had fallen. She couldn't for the life of her figure out what was wrong with the detective. Sensing it had something pertaining to Serena but not knowing how to qualify her statement, she stayed silent.

Expelling a breath, Olivia put her hand on the door knob, "Ready?"

Alex nodded, still bewildered.

Once at the blackjack table, Alex was still wondering about Olivia who was focusing really hard on her cards.

She was so focused on her cards that Olivia didn't even notice that after a couple hands Alex got up and was standing behind her with a hand on the small of her back. Her skin singed under the elegant fingers of the ADA and Olivia had to take a breath and calm herself.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked Olivia.

Olivia nodded, "Yeah."

"I'm going to get a drink," the blonde replied, "Do you want something?"

Doing a quick mental inventory of what she had had to drink earlier and calculating what time it was although no sunlight, or moonlight as it may be, was anywhere to be seen. "Scotch."

Alex nodded and let her hand drag across Olivia's back as she walked off.

Olivia leaned on the table with her head in her hands. Alex was almost irresistible and when they touched Olivia wanted more. This weekend vacation was turning out to be pleasure and torture rolled into a short time.

While she was at the bar, Alex took out her phone and called her sister. While she was playing cards she thought she figured out why Olivia was being weird about Serena.

"Hello?" Cameron asked.

"What did you tell Olivia about Serena?" Alex asked immediately.

There was a pause as Cameron recalled the memory, "Everything."

"Why?!" the attorney asked quite loudly, "That's not for you to tell."

"She called you when you were at Serena's apartment Alex. And Serena answered," Cameron replied sternly, "What was I supposed to tell her?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Alex hissed into the phone.

"You've been a little hard to talk to lately," Cameron quipped coldly in true Cabot form.

The bartender from the night before set the drinks in front of Alex and smiled her annoyingly cheerful smile before scampering off.

Alex sighed, "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry," Cameron's voice softened, "Just…let me help once and a while. Then I wouldn't have to be sneaky about it. You've always helped me, but you never let me help you."

At this point, Alex stopped talking. She was deep in thought.

"Lexi?" Cameron asked softly, "I'm sorry. I know it's just the way you are and ever since we were little…"

"No," Alex stopped her, "You're right. We'll talk when I get home, okay? "

"Okay," Cameron readily agreed.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," the youngest Cabot replied, "Love you."

"I love you too," Alex added before closing her phone and putting it into her pocket. She looked down at the bourbon in her glass and quickly drained the glass and left it on the bar when she took Olivia her drink.

"Thanks," Olivia smiled softly when Alex set the drink next to her.

"No problem," Alex looked at where she had been sitting and found it occupied by a rather large, sweaty looking man with graying hair and a bad comb over. She looked back at Olivia who smirked and shrugged.

Alex couldn't help, but smile. She went with her first instinct and put her hand on Olivia's shoulder, "I think I'm done gambling for the night anyway."

Olivia signaled to the dealer that she was done and she was cashed out within seconds. "Where to?"

The blonde sighed, "How about I put on some more comfortable shoes and we head to the boardwalk?"

"Sounds like a plan," the detective stood and followed Alex to the elevator.

It wasn't long before they were walking along the wooden footpath with lit up hotels and shops all painted bright colors, on one side and the white noise of the darkened ocean on the other. There was a ferris wheel lit up in the distance surrounded by other brightly colored lights like a second sun rising from the water.

Olivia wasn't sure what to think of Alex's silence. She just walked with her hands in her pockets, staring out into the crowd or the ocean.

A breeze shooting down the boardwalk caused Alex to shiver and move slightly closer to Olivia. Ever the perceptive one, Olivia smirked and linked her arm with Alex's, who chuckled and huddled into her.

"This may have not been such a great idea," Alex fought to keep a shiver at bay.

"Maybe not," Olivia pulled Alex toward a set of stairs that led to the beach.


	33. Chapter 33

They walked up and down the beach for a while before either one said anything.

"Despite what my nosy sister led you to believe," Alex turned to Olivia, "I'm not dating or sleeping or anything with Serena."

Olivia panicked about being caught thinking Alex was sleeping with Serena, but she was relieved none the less. After a moment of thought, Olivia added, "It's none of my business."

"I think it sort of is," Alex honestly replied. She looked out onto the dark ocean, feeling the cool wind surround her. "Serena and I…have a history. We met in law school. It was a really stressful time in our lives. And it seems that when something big is happening to me, she's there. I don't know how it happens, but she's always been there."

The detective nodded, "I understand."

"Anyway," Alex kicked at the sand, "I haven't slept with her in a long time."

Olivia was sure she knew why Alex was telling her all of this. She watched as Alex's hair whipped around in the wind. The stars reflected in Alex's eyes making them seem to twinkle.

After a few minutes, Alex looked at Olivia. Olivia looked back and saw an adorable smile on Alex's face. Before she knew it, the blonde had moved forward and had swept her up in a kiss. Their lips moved together like the motion was innate. Olivia could feel the breath being sucked from her body.

When the kiss was over, Alex bit her lip and smiled before looking back out toward the ocean and starting to walk down the beach again.

Olivia finally recovered and realized that Alex was a few yards down the beach. She trotted to catch up and caught Alex's hand, "What was that?"

"I…um…" Alex let out a coy smirk, "I got caught up in the moment."

The detective's jaw dropped and her heart sank. The kiss that got her hopes up all over again was a caught in the moment thing?

The blonde took Olivia's hand, "That wasn't it. I was wrong…to end things with you like I did. It's not what I wanted. I told myself I was protecting you…from me."

"I don't need protecting," Olivia offered, "Especially from you."

Alex took a deep breath, "I know. What I was really doing was protecting myself."

The older woman coiled her arms around Alex, "I won't hurt you."

She was answered with silence, so Olivia stroked Alex's hair and breathed in the cold ocean air. When Alex started to pull away, Olivia immediately let go not wanting Alex to be uncomfortable. The blonde immediately looked away and brought her hands to her face. Olivia was sure she was wiping tears, but she wasn't going to say anything.

Alex forced a smile, "Will you come back to the room with me? It's getting really cold."

"Of course," Olivia nodded.

When they got inside, Olivia reached for the light switch, but Alex stopped her hand on its way up. She held Olivia's hand as the door closed, taking all the light away. Olivia felt Alex pull her toward the bed.

Alex laid down on the bed and let go of Olivia's hand as she shimmied under the blanket. Olivia knew what Alex wanted so she crawled in bed next to the blonde.

"I'm sorry," Alex whispered, tucking her hands under her pillow.

Olivia wanted to tuck a loose stand of hair behind Alex's ear, but she wasn't really sure where they stood. The past few hours had thrown her completely off. "It's okay."

"It's not," the ADA's usual strong confident voice was barely a whisper. "The whole come here, go away thing is not fair to you. And I don't know…I don't know what I'm doing. It feels like I'm sinking and I don't want to drag you down with me."

Olivia smiled and took Alex's hands out from under her pillow, "I can swim."

Alex chuckled at her own analogy and relaxed quite a bit. When Olivia felt her lose some tension, she slid her arms around Alex and held her as close as possible.

"So, would you still want to date me if I'm a neurotic mess half of the time?" Alex asked before kissing the soft skin of Olivia's neck.

"Mhmm," the detective moaned.

"Okay well," Alex pulled away enough to kiss Olivia properly, "How about we go on another date?"

"I'd love to," Olivia deepened the kiss. As Alex moved her hands to Olivia's face, her shirt rode up and Olivia's hands made contact with the bare skin of Alex's middle. The muscles tensed at the contact and Olivia's hands started to roam freely.

Alex groaned in frustration when her phone rang on the nightstand. By this time, Olivia was practically on top of her. Olivia laughed at Alex's frustration and rolled over so Alex could answer her phone. The blonde was even more irritated when she saw whose name was on the front of the phone.

"What do you want?" Alex demanded.

"Is that any way to speak to your favorite sister?" Cameron asked.

The eldest Cabot sat up in the bed and ran a hand through her hair while she tried not to watch Olivia change into something more comfortable to sleep in. "I was busy."

Cameron gasped, "Oh la la. I was just calling to check on you, but you seemed to be doing better than I hoped. Enjoy yourself."

"Bye," Alex sighed and snapped her phone shut, letting it fall onto the mattress.

Olivia smiled down at her, "Cameron?"

"Yes," Alex huffed.

The detective adjusted the strap on her cami and crawled back into bed, "Tired?"

"No," the ADA answered definitely. She slipped out of bed and took off her jeans before getting back in bed.

It wasn't long before they were wrapped in each other.

"So we're okay?" Alex asked quietly.

"We're great," Olivia smiled.

The blonde closed her eyes, "Even neurotic nervous breakdown me?"

"I don't think it will get as far as a nervous breakdown, but I would definitely visit you in whatever institution Cameron and your mother decide to put you in."

"What a nice thought," Alex deadpanned.

Olivia laughed, "We both have issues, but we'll deal with them as they come. Together. Deal?"

"Deal," Alex smiled and kissed Olivia. It soon got heated again and they found that they had no use for clothes anymore. They ended their all too brief vacation, the best way either one of them could think of.


End file.
